“Why My Parents Should Buy Me a Tablet” ESSAY PACKET COMMENTS

Subject-Verb Agreement Abbreviated SVA INCORRECT: You can monitor the sites I visits. CORRECT: You can monitor the sites I visit.

Pronoun- Antecedent Agreement Abbreviated PAA INCORRECT: The tablet is a great tool that I can use. They will help me tremendously. CORRECT: The tablet is a great tool that I can use. It will help me tremendously.

TRANSITIONS: However Use when two ideas oppose each other INCORRECT: I can access the school’s website with a tablet. However, Fun Brain is an educational game I can play with a tablet. CORRECT: I went to bed early. However, I am still tired. Ways to Punctuate:  I went to bed early. However, I am still tired.  I went to bed early; however, I am still tired.

TRANSITIONS: In addition (to) Don’t begin first body paragraph with it Ways to punctuate:  In addition, a tablet can be used for school purposes.  In addition to entertainment, a tablet can be used for school purposes. (In addition to…what?) Don’t use “also” in a sentence that already has “in addition” or “additionally” in it.  In addition to entertainment, a tablet can also be used for school purposes.

TRANSITIONS: Besides Be sure to follow it with something….Besides what??? INCORRECT as a topic sentence: Besides, tablets are convenient. CORRECT as a topic sentence: Besides being entertaining and educational, tablets are convenient.

TRANSITIONS: On the other hand Only use when you are telling a contrasting/opposing position Example: Many people like to visit the beach for the ocean and sunshine. On the other hand, many tourists enjoy the beach for the shopping and other man-made attractions.

TRANSITIONS: In fact Do not begin a paragraphs with “In fact,…” You must have stated something you plan to back up with a fact first. Whatever you say must back up what you just said. INCORRECT: Tablets can be used to access educational videos. In fact, tablets are great for typing papers. CORRECT: Tablets can be used to access educational videos. In fact, You-tube contains videos to help you with math concepts.

TRANSITIONS: In fact How to punctuate “in fact”  The United States is quite a big country. In fact, it contains fifty states.  The United States is quite a big country; in fact, it contains fifty states.

TRANSITIONS: For example Do not begin paragraphs with “For example,…” You must have stated something you plan to back up with an example Whatever you say must be an example of what you just said INCORRECT: Tablets are faster than computers. For example, they are portable and lightweight. CORRECT: Tablets are faster than computers. For example, most tablets boot up within a matter of seconds.

TRANSITIONS: Too Use too when you mean also  She wants to go, too. (comma before)  She, too, wants to go. (comma on both sides) Use too when you are showing the extent of something.  She is too late to participate. (no comma)

TRANSITIONS: Another key point Only use in topic sentences. Supporting details are not key points, so don’t use this transition within a paragraph. INCORRECT: Another key point, tablets are great tools for entertainment. INCORRECT: Another key point, is tablets are great tools for entertainment. CORRECT: Another key point is tablets are great tools for entertainment.

Pay Attention to AUDIENCE You were writing a letter to your parents. When you use the pronoun “you,” you are referring to them. Example: You can use a tablet for typing papers for school. (What???? Your parents can use it for that purpose?) Be careful about using second person. It is usually best to use third person.  NO: You should have to make good grades to play sports.  YES: Students should have to make good grades to play sports.

GRAMMAR: Run-ons Joining two independent clauses with no punctuation or conjunction Example:  Incorrect:  Tablets are great investments they can help you out a lot.  Correct:  Tablets are great investments because they can help you out a lot.  Tablets are great investments. They can help you out a lot.  Tablets are great investments; they can help you out a lot.

GRAMMAR: Comma Splices Joining two independent clauses with only a comma Example:  Incorrect:  Tablets are great investments, they can help you out a lot.  Correct:  Tablets are great investments because they can help you out a lot.  Tablets are great investments. They can help you out a lot.  Tablets are great investments; they can help you out a lot.

GRAMMAR: Parallelism When you have items in a series, those items should all match, meaning they are parallel. INCORRECT: A tablet has a bigger screen, a GPS, time restrictions, you can save money on a data plan, free-texting, and a tablet is fast. CORRECT: A tablet has a bigger screen, GPS, time restrictions, no data plan, free-texting, and a faster system.

GRAMMAR: Indentions Every time you start a new paragraph, you should begin writing on the next line and indent that line. Example: A man is running swiftly to escape the evil beasts that are trying to eat him. He runs, jumps, slides, and ducks to dodge obstacles. During his escape, he glides on ropes and collects coins… One reason that you should buy me a tablet is that it is convenient. For example, it is lightweight, portable, cellular, and faster than a computer…

IDEAS: INTRODUCTION HOOK must come first!  Needs to be short (no more than probably three to four sentences)  Should NOT overshadow the rest of your paper  Must relate to the topic! Might need a link sentence to connect your hook to the thesis THESIS ends the intro!  Tells your stance on the topic  Don’t begin with “I think” or “I believe”

IDEAS: TOPIC SENTENCES Must be about the paragraph! Everything in the paragraph must relate back to the topic sentence. Make sure it’s general. Begin with a transition or else make sure the words naturally flow.

IDEAS: CONCLUSION Don’t restate your ideas word-for-word State ideas in a new and different way Remember your three major strategies:  Call to action  Offer a solution to a problem  Make a prediction (long-term effects) LINK BACK to the hook from the intro.

STYLE: VAGUE DICTION Don’t use the words “good,” “things,” or “stuff” in your writing. These are called “dead words.” Go to next slide for better options.

STYLE: Better Options Try using these words instead of “good.”  Valid  Beneficial  Practical  Valuable  Advantageous  Effective  Functional  Profitable  Exceptional  Favorable  Positive  Satisfying  Superior  Exemplary  Desirable  Ideal

BIGGEST TIP: RE-READ!!!!! When we write, we make silly mistakes.  Equally important, I can access to the school websites is useful and to see what work I missed.  I would really enjoy using for communication and entertainment because it is so easy to use. RE-READ (PROOFREAD) so you can fix careless mistakes.