Dating Behaviors

What is the purpose of Dating? Socialization: To develop appropriate social skills. To practice getting along with others in different settings. Recreation: To have fun and enjoy the companionship of others. To try new and different activities. Mate Selection: To see others in many different settings. To compare the personality and characteristics of many people.

Activity: Do’s and Don’t in Dating… Get into groups of three and compare your responses. Are there any that you ALL had the SAME response?

Stages of Dating

Stage One: Group Dating Characteristics: Activities might be arranged spur of the moment. Being yourself and talking with a group is often more comfortable. You might not feel as self-conscious or awkward with the opposite sex when in a group setting. Examples: Meeting friends at Farmer’s Market on Thursday. Going to the movies in a group of 6-8. The Friday Night Football game…

Stage Two: Casual dating Characteristics: Feel more confident relating to members of the opposite sex— which leads to pairing off to do activities. A person may date several people at one time—there isn’t a serious commitment to any one person. Helps you to learn how to along with many different personalities—as well as narrow down the personality traits that you will look for in a mate. You are interested in having fun and doing new activities—but don’t really want to share personal feelings. Examples: Meeting for lunch Studying together Going to a dance together—but perhaps still with other couples.

Stage Three: Steady Dating Characteristics: You may find one person who you enjoy being with more then others. You share interests, values, and goals. You develop a trust with the other person and that trust can create an emotional connection that grows over time. Examples: Dating only one person for multiple months. Spending time with other person’s family. Talking about future events…with the assumption that there will be a “we”.

Love vs. Infatuation What is love? How do you know if you are really in love? Love is a strong feeling of affection between two people…which grows stronger over time and is unselfish. It is based on trust, and it is not jealous or possessive. Love between two people is a feeling that is unlike any other feeling—people in love are as concerned for each other, as they are for themselves.

Infatuation Infatuation is an intense feeling of attracting that begins and ends quickly. In can be based on appearance, popularity or lust.

Activity Brainstorm some of the behaviors that you have observed during dating. Share your list with the class and add new behaviors to your list. Assign an age group (pre-teen-PT, teen-T, adult-A, parent-P) to each behavior that you feel is appropriate for that age group.

YOU ARE THE PARENT Situation #1: Your son is infatuated with a girl at school. Every time you have seen this girl she has bean wearing revealing clothing. Does this concern you (as a parent)? As a student—have you ever been uncomfortable because someone is wearing provocative clothing…

YOU ARE THE PARENT Situation #2: You daughter comes home from a date and is upset. When you ask her what is wrong, she explains that her date took her to a party where he got drunk. She was scared to get in the car so he could take her home—but didn’t want to stay at the party or be late. As a parent—how would you feel, and how would you respond?

YOU ARE THE PARENT Situation #3: Your son comes home from a date and confides in you that his date seduced him. What would you think? What would you say?

Situational Statements: Respond to each statement by putting an X in the appropriate boxes.

Values?? Definition of values? Values are the principals that we believe in and that should guide our behavior. They are the things that we feel are important—and they are influenced by our family, friends and environment. Why is it important to know about values— and to recognize your own personal values when you think about dating and relationships?

DATING RULES Make a list of dating rules…as seen through your parents’ eyes. Share with the class… Think about the fact that you are not always going to have your parents’ rules when you head off to college or move out. What dating rules are you going to live by? Make a list of your own dating rules….

RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBLITIES OF DATING