Introduction Professional Writing: Introduction to stylistic editing (sentence- level correction)

I understand that some doctors making night calls have been attacked in recent months on the expectation that they were carrying drugs and their caution when visiting certain areas in the south of the city has been very exacting and has even included telephoning the address to be visited from their car when they arrive outside the house. SENTENCE SPRAWL Stylistic editing

My degree, my work experience, and learning to do complicated projects has given me the qualifications necessary to work for your firm. NON-PARALLEL STRUCTURE Stylistic editing

This compulsion is much regretted, but a large vehicle fleet operator restriction in mileage has now been made imperative to meet the demand for petrol economy. STACKED MODIFIER Stylistic editing

Antibiotic-Combination Drugs Used to Treat Colds Banned by FDA. MISPLACED MODIFIER Stylistic editing

A large mass of literature has accumulated on the cell walls of staphylococci. MISPLACED MODIFIER Stylistic editing

The conversion of the optimized neural networks (software) into microchips (hardware) will be attempted. POSTPONED VERB PASSIVE NOMINALIZATION Stylistic editing

I have read of the achievement of the Irish of the southern regions of New England. PREPOSITIONAL STRING Stylistic editing

Work is required to be carried out on the flue and funnels. REDUNDANCY Stylistic editing

A recommendation was made by inspectors that consideration be given by the company to the fitting of an interlock trip between the ventilation systems to prevent cell pressurization. PASSIVE NOMINALIZATION PREPOSITIONAL STRING Stylistic editing

It is all right to give raw milk to your baby, but first you must boil it. UNCLEAR ANTECEDENT Stylistic editing

The results of the measurement of the breakthrough volumes are shown in Figure 1. NOMINALIZATION PASSIVE REDUNDANCY Stylistic editing

Figure 5 shows the standard chromatogram obtained using the described method. REDUNDANCY Stylistic editing

This year’s medical effectiveness research data methods conference begins tomorrow. STACKED MODIFIER Stylistic editing

We think that the suggestion is interesting and so it has been incorporated into our project. REDUNDANCY Stylistic editing

In the food industry CMC serves as a thickening agent in dairy products and sauces, as a stabilizer in frozen foods and ice creams and it is also an important additive in low calorie foods. NON-PARALLEL STRUCTURE Stylistic editing

Completion and return of the attached form will assure participation in the program. NOMINALIZATION IMPERSONAL STYLE Stylistic editing

The implementation of this study was initiated as a result of our discovery of the poor sales performance of our running shoes. NOMINALIZATION PASSIVE IMPERSONAL STYLE Stylistic editing

This safe is locked by a key only and does not have a combination lock. REDUNDANCY Stylistic editing