Leadership Refined Communication Lesson 8

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln

Review So far we’ve studied being focused, maintaining a servant attitude and possessing a positive attitude. Summarize on a sheet of paper these character traits and how they relate to you.

Now it is time for communication! Good communicators... Speak honestly and specifically Focus on the people they are communicating with Practice the skills of good communication

Canadian Geese When the leader of a flock of geese decides it is time to move, he informs the rest of the group and heads out. While he is heading out and as he is moving, he continually calls back to the rest of the geese in his flock. He invites, encourages, and directly communicates his direction. He then starts on his way with the flock coming along right behind him. The geese that are in the water and following communicate back to the leader that they are on board and following along. Without good communication, the leader of this flock of geese would have no followers. Without good communication, this flock would not be a flock; it would simply be a bunch of geese in the same area at the same time. Communication is critical.

REFLECTIVE LISTENING REVIEW (from 6 th grade) One of the first skills needed for better communication involves listening. It involves repeating back in your own words the ideas and feelings of what you have just heard. Think of it as parroting... or repeating back... or reflective listening. We all have a basic need to be understood. We also have a need for approval. When you repeat back what you have heard, you meet the first of these two needs. However, when it comes to good communication, understanding or acknowledging does not necessarily mean that you agree with what the person is saying; it just means you understand. Towards Better Communication

“I” Messages REVIEW (from 6 th grade) The “I” message frequently works for communicating behaviors, habits, or other things that annoy you. When you use “I” messages: describe or state the behavior that is irritating or offending you; then describe or state the feeling that the behavior is causing you, and then finally, state the effects or outcome of that behavior. The purpose of the “I” message is to deal with a problem and express your needs. Instead of being on the attack and putting your listener on the defensive, “I” messages share the responsibility for the problem and set up the situation to result in both parties coming out ahead.

To Hear is Not Necessarily to Understand Briefing: In this activity one group member will try to communicate to the rest of the group a geometrical “picture” that has been given to them without showing anyone else the design. Procedures: Each team member has a piece of paper and a writing utensil. The team member who is giving directions stands with his/her back to the rest of the group. For the first card, the direction giver proceeds with directions that direct the rest of the group to recreate the design that he/she has on his/her 3” x 5” card. Compare results. Then for the second design card, the direction giver gives directions for a different geometrical design, but faces the audience, no gestures allowed. Compare results. The for the third design card, the direction giver uses gestures ONLY. Compare results. For the fourth and last card, the direction giver faces the audience, uses gestures and may answer questions verbally. Compare results.

Think About It... 1.Describe what happened in the listening process. 2.Was it hard to know where to draw shapes? 3.Which directions were the easiest to follow? Why? 4.Which directions were the hardest to follow? Why? 5.What communication insights did you gain? 6.Which is more important - listening or speaking? 7.How can you take what you learned here home with you? 8.What does it take to be a good communicator? 9.What does it take to be a good listener?

JOURNAL #10 What sort of communicator are you? Do you like to dominate the conversation? Do you like to sit back and just listen and take it all in? How do you know when someone is or isn’t listening to you? Who do you know that listens well? Who, in your world, listens to you? Who do you listen to? Why do you listen to some people and not to others? Is listening harder than speaking? Why? How?

One reason why a dog is such a lovable creature is that he wags his tail instead of his mouth.