Feedback on Essays

 Plot should only be used as context for analysis. Plot details will not analyze for you. Start with analysis and then support with details.  Do not restate prompt – be more specific in your claim.  Avoid commonplace ideas and clichés.  Seek ideas that are ambiguous and complex. Consider antithesis, tension, shifts in tone.

AVOID HYPOTHETICALS  “Without [this component], there would be no story.” This, while logically true, is not what the prompt means by explaining how something contributes to the meaning of the work as a whole. This is usually how one element creates a plot. We are not interested in this.

 Don’t moralize or comment on the quality of the work – “I liked the poem,” etc; focus on literary analysis as a means to convey your opinions not on how you personally felt about the selection. And, don’t comment on the author, either: “Such and such was a great 20th century author who….” Or “Milton does a great job of …”

 Spend time planning your essay (10 minutes), and find some angle, within the context of the prompt, that you feel passionate about, whether emotionally, intellectually or philosophically (passion moves readers).  If the prompt refers to “literary devices” or any other technical aspects of the work, ignore the reference and ask first, “What does the poem mean?” THEN, ask, “What message does the author have for you?”  THEN, ask, “How is that message delivered?” At this point, the devices should suggest themselves in a context in which the technicalities of the work will be seen to create its effectiveness rather than obscuring its power.

 In process papers, include a more complete introduction, with a hook and transition to thesis.  Kill the reader! (The audience is like the reader, but less precise when not discussing a play – kill it, too.)  Don’t leave a paragraph until you’ve made clear how you have supported your thesis.  Always explain meaning specifically. “The deeper meaning” is, ironically, a meaningless phrase.

 It is not enough to notice a pattern, but you must also explain its effect.  Use the topic sentence to be specific with the ideas you are going to present in the paragraph  Reference only the devices you explain, and explain all the devices you reference.  You are discussing the effect of language – how does an author leverage language to achieve a particular effect? Avoid the vile phrase, “the author uses these devices to improve his/her work” or “to make the work enjoyable or readable or interesting or…”

 Do not repeat the prompt – always be more specific.  Embed any plot details in analysis.  Instead of “Polonius tells Ophelia to cut off correspondence with Hamlet.”  Try, “Ophelia’s loyalty is tested and her love strained when Polonius tells her…”  Be vigilant to reference only what is in the text, rather than an interpretation we’ve seen or discussed. (Claudius does not shrug in the play. Hamlet does not throw Ophelia against a wall.)

 Do not engage in the formula, “if [detail] did not happen, then [other detail] does not happen and therefore the story would be different.”  Discussing plot is superficial and requires no insight or analysis.  “The trick is to… take apart the parts, hold them up to the light, and somehow see their relationship to the whole work.”  ( Preparing Students for the AP Open Question, Mary Kay Harrington; Director, Writing Skills Program; California Polytechnic State University: San Luis Obispo)