Defense Mechanisms

Defense mechanisms are techniques people use to: 1. Cope with emotions they are uncomfortable expressing -or- 2. Avoid confronting a stressor.

Defense mechanisms can be: 1. Harmful, because they keep a person from learning how to accept the reality of a situation and/or express emotions. 2. A typical response a person has to an emotion/issue he is not prepared to handle.

Denial Refusing to accept and address the reality of the situation.

Denial “I don’t have a drinking problem” (when the reality is that drinking is causing many problems in the person’s life and relationships…..)

Denial “I didn’t do it!” (when the reality is that the person did do it and is afraid to face the consequences…..)

Denial “Not My Son!” (The reality is that the person’s son was involved in an illegal incident along with his friends but when confronted about it the parent refuses to believe it…..)

Rationalization Creating excuses for a situation instead of admitting the reality of the situation.

Rationalization “The reason I drink is because of my stressful job!” (when the reality is that the person’s drinking would be a problem even if the person was laid off or unemployed)

Rationalization “I failed the test because the teacher didn’t tell us there was one.” (when the reality is that the person knew about the test but didn’t study/or understand the material)

Rationalization “I didn’t make the team because I was sick the day I tried out” (The reality is that the person’s skills still wouldn’t have been good enough to make the team even if he hadn’t been sick on the day of tryouts.)

Displacement Redirecting your response to a situation toward someone who was totally uninvolved with the situation.

Displacement “Get out of my way!” (Directing anger toward someone walking by you when you’re angry with someone else)

Displacement “I love you sweety!” (Someone just made you feel very happy but you don’t feel comfortable responding to them so you express your delight toward the next friend you see)

Displacement “You’re always on my case. Leave me alone!” (The person is mad about how friends are treating him/her but takes it out on a parent who reminds him that it’s time to do his homework.)

Repression Not allowing yourself to remember or think about a previous traumatic life event.

Repression The person was abused as a youngster but has no memory of it.

Repression As a youngster a person witnessed a murder but has no recollection of it.

Regression Dealing with a situation with immature, childlike behavior instead of age-appropriate behavior.

Regression Ex. A teenager reverts to baby talk when talking to an intimidating adult

Regression Ex. A potty-trained toddler begins wetting his pants and needing a diaper when a new baby comes home.

Regression Ex. Dad acts like one of the kids when trouble happens instead of addressing the issue as the parent.

Avoidance Staying away from a situation that causes you to feel threatened or uncomfortable.

Avoidance Phone rings: “If it’s Jim tell him I’m not here” (the reality is that the person doesn’t feel comfortable talking to Jim)

Avoidance Ex: You did something wrong that made someone mad and now you stay away from the person.

Avoidance Ex: You don’t come to school because you’re scared to have to give a presentation.

Reaction Formation Expressing an emotion you’re comfortable showing people rather than the one you’re truly feeling.

Reaction Formation “That’s so funny!” (The reality is that you’re really upset at how someone’s being treated by a bully but laugh so that you don’t get picked on, too)

Reaction Formation “It’s no big deal” (You act indifferent when the reality is that you’re really scared/worried about the situation)

Reaction Formation Ex: You’re really nervous about a situation to the point of being petrified but you crack up laughing about it.

Compensation Making up for a situation you feel guilty about or that you failed at.

Compensation “Pick out anything you want, honey” (A parent feels guilty about not spending time with his child so buys him whatever he wants)

Compensation “You look great!” (A girl feels guilty for talking behind someone’s back so gives the person a compliment next time she sees the person)

Compensation “Hey, did you hear the one about….?” he e hee (A kid feels everyone must think he’s dumb since he has no clue what’s going on in math class so instead he gets positive attention during class by telling jokes)

Projection Labeling someone to be the same as you when you’re uncomfortable with your label and need to feel that you’re not alone.

Projection “You are so fat!” (The reality is that a person views herself as fat and feels better about herself when she tells other people that they are fat.)

Projection “You are beautiful!” A girl feels so good about her own looks that she wants others to feel the same way.

Projection “I know you’re cheating on me!” (the reality is that the accuser is the one who’s cheating and accuses his partner of cheating in order to feel better about himself)

Projection “You will never amount to anything!” (the reality is the person delivering this message feels like a “loser” and wants the other person to feel the same way, too.