Tuttleman Counseling Services 1810 Liacouras Walk (Main Campus) (Main Campus) Office Hours Monday – Friday 8:30 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. Walk-In Clinic Mon., Tues, Thurs. & Fri. 10 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. Wednesday – 9 a.m. to 12 noon Free and Confidential

Congratulations!

Student Transitions Making new friends Moving away from home Making their own schedule Making their own decisions Starting new romantic relationships Academic decisions Managing money Coping with STRESS

Homesickness Common during their initial adjustment period. Phone calls home usually help students adjust. Encourage students to get involved! Usually passes in three or four weeks. The “cold turkey” approach is not usually helpful.

Parent Transitions Should we rent their room out? Can we really vacation alone? What were those things we wanted to do? Less laundry & less cleaning up. More time for socializing. Getting your car back.

Challenges and Expectations Expectations about… –Communication –Academic performance –Vacations and visits home –Finances Concerns about … –Drugs and alcohol –Sex & STIs –Adjustment issues –Academic failure

Communication Talk to your student in advance about what your expectations are about when and how often they should call or . Ask your son or daughter to give you the cell phone number of a college friend and/or roommate in case of emergency. Try to be open and empathetic about their challenges and encourage them to find solutions on their own. Talk to your students about expectations when school is not in session.

Listen for the underlying message… If they are calling to discuss a problem, they want your help. Convey caring and confidence in their ability to manage the situation. If you are able to help them see the potential consequences of their actions, they may decide to change their behavior. Asking about what your student thinks might help solve their problem and often can be productive.

Mistakes Happen! Some students will experiment with drugs and/or alcohol, though less than half will. (not mine!) Some students will begin or continue to be sexually active. (not mine!) Some students will fail a class. (not mine!) Some students will decide to change their major from pre-med to art history. (I can deal with that…)

Encourage your student to seek counseling services if …. You notice a change in mood. Their academic performance is poor. They are not adjusting well. You suspect drug or alcohol problems. They are not solving problems. You have any other concerns or suspicions that something is wrong.

Counseling…. Involves helping students to learn to make healthy decisions, explore options, look at themselves and an honest and open way and make positive changes in their behavior. Does not involve the counselor telling students what to do.

Common Problems Relationship conflict Anxiety Depression Loss issues Adjustment issues Sexuality related concerns Drug and alcohol problems Eating disorders Self-esteem issues Gambling and other financial concerns Suicidal thoughts Self injury Marijuana abuse Concern about someone else Stress

Who uses Tuttleman Counseling Services? Last year approximately 2500 students came in for counseling services last year. Students also attended a variety of workshops and other events throughout the year. 350 students used psychiatric services. (If you live nearby, please continue to have your student’s physician manage their psychiatric medications and reserve TCS for emergencies.)

Some things to consider….. Flexibility is good. Listening does not mean agreeing. Guide rather than pressure. Physical distance is not the same as healthy separation. Don’t over burden your student with your emotional issues. Stay connected; be interested but not intrusive.

A Few More…….. Explore and clarify boundaries. Give advice, but only when requested. Encourage greater independence. Encourage use of campus resources. Don’t be surprised if you don’t see much of them the first time they come home.

A Few More…….. When your son or daughter calls home with a problem, they are not asking you to solve it; practice being a good listener. Growth requires making mistakes. Limit changes that make it seem as if you are continuing your family life without them. Be a consistent, non-intrusive presence during the freshman year with letters, goodies, little gifts, money, and a few phone calls.

Final thoughts…… Be willing to listen, slow to react. Be supportive, listening, non-judgmental. Be a consistent, non-intrusive presence during the freshman year with letters, goodies, little gifts, money, and a few phone calls. Trust that your son or daughter is well prepared and that you did a good job.

Questions?

Tuttleman Counseling and Prevention Services 1810 Liacouras Walk (Main Campus) (Main Campus) Monday – Friday Office Hours 8:30 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. Walk-In Clinic 10 a.m. to 2 p.m Free and Confidential