Meeting 9 Tosspon English 155 Agenda: Capitalization & Punctuation Words & Wordiness Peer Review Benchmark Papers

Agenda Meeting 9 Awesome! 1 Soccer 2 Wordiness & Word Logic 3 Benchmark Paper Peer Review

Capitalization & Punctuation Do! Days of the week, months of the year, holidays Language, nationalities, races, religions, deities, sacred terms Titles: the first word and every important term First words of direct quotes Historical events, periods Brand names People’s names and titles Don’t Seasons Common nouns that refer to religious places like “church” Titles: do not capitalize articles (the), prepositions (of, under, over), or short connecting words (or, and) unless they start the title Directions (north, south, east and west- unless used in a place name)

Soccer Rules Form into 2 teams 15 minutes to correct the capitalization and punctuation on the handout Teams will start by assigning a player to respond. That player is responsible for answering that question. The ball will move one line forward for each ITEM the player corrects from the handout, IN ORDER If they player misses one, the other team has a chance to “steal” the ball and move it down the field the opposite direction. If they make an error, the original team can steal back Both teams will try to move the ball down the field When a team scores, the ball starts all the way at the other end of the field.

“[Y]ou can think of your draft as a puzzle; to solve it, you have to find and eliminate the superfluities that obscure your meaning. The object is to delete as many words as possible without sacrificing substance or nuance.” - Claire Kehrwald Cook

Eliminating Wordiness Eliminate wordiness in the editing stage of the writing process. With practice you will automatically eliminate wordiness as you draft your papers.

Avoid “Be” Verbs am are is was were being been “Be” verbs are considered action-less verbs and should be changed to active verbs when appropriate.

Avoid “Be” Verbs The boring textbook was being read by the students. change to The students read the boring textbook.

Avoid “Be” Verbs It is better to become a nurse instead of a teacher. change to Nursing pays better than teaching does.

WARNING!!! Sometimes you should use “be” verbs. I am 21 years old. Or if the agent—the one performing the action—is unknown, you may use the passive voice. The walls had been defaced by graffiti.

Active vs. Passive Verbs In sentences written in the active voice, the subject performs the action expressed by the verb. Roseanne wrote the paper.

Active vs. Passive Verbs In academic writing (with the exception of scientific writing) active sentences are preferred over passive ones.

Active vs. Passive Verbs In sentences written in the passive voice, the subject receives the action expressed by the verb. The paper was written by Roseanne.

Active vs. Passive Passive: The Old Man and the Sea was written by Hemingway. change to Active: Hemingway wrote The Old Man and the Sea.

Active vs. Passive Passive: It is believed by some critics that Psycho is Hitchcock’s greatest film. change to Active: Some critics believe that Psycho is Hitchcock’s greatest film.

WARNING! At times, it may be appropriate to write in the passive voice. The passive voice is preferred in scientific papers. Experiments have been conducted to test the safety of generic pharmaceuticals. English and Humanities papers, however, are written in the active voice. Dr. Harker conducted experiments to test the safety of generic pharmaceuticals.

Condense Phrases into Single Words The employee with ambition got the promotion. change to The ambitious employee got the promotion.

Condense Phrases into Single Words Rob decided to retake the class at a later date in time. change to Rob decided to retake the class later.

All these phrases can be condensed into one word. the reason for for the reason that due to the fact that in light of the fact that considering the fact that this is why = because, since, why

All these phrases can be condensed into one word. on the occasion of in a situation in which under circumstances in which = when

All these phrases can be condensed into one word. it is crucial that it is necessary that there is a need for it is important that cannot be avoided = must, should

All these phrases can be condensed into one word. it is possible that there is a chance that it could happen that the possibility exists for = may, might, could

Avoid Repetitive Wording end result past experience share in common small in size = end = past = share = small

Avoid Repetitive Wording made a discovery made an attempt made an accusation made an appearance made a decision = discovered = attempted = accused = appeared = decided

Avoid THESE Wordings I thought in my head I thought to myself In my mind, I think In my opinion, I think = I thought = I think

Avoid overusing expletives at the …………beginning of sentences Wordy: It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills. (9 words) Concise: The governor signs or vetoes bills. (6 words) Wordy: There are four rules that should be observed:... (8 words) Concise: Four rules should be observed:... (5 words) Wordy: There was a big explosion, which shook the windows, and people ran into the street. (15 words) Concise: A big explosion shook the windows, and people ran into the street. (12 words) form it + be-verb or there + be- verb

Review Avoid “be” verbs: am, are, is, was, were, being, been. Use active rather than passive verbs. Condense phrases into single words. Omit repetitive wording.

Paramedic Method – Guide to Writing Concisely Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into) Draw a box around the "is" verb forms Ask, "Where's the action?" Change the "action" into a simple verb Move the doer into the subject (Who is kicking whom?) Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups Eliminate any redundancies.

Paramedic Method Practice 1.The point I wish to make is that the employees working at this company are in need of a much better manager of their money. 1. Circle the prepositions (use handout) 2. Draw a box around the “is” or “be” verb 3. Ask “where is the action.” 4. Begin rewrite, using the action as your main verb Rewrite: The point I wish to make is that the employees working at this company need need ____________________: Rewrite: The point I wish to make is that the employees working at this company need ________________. 5. Move “doer” to the subject 6. Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups 7. Eliminate any redundancies. Rewrite: Employees at Smith & Wesson need a better money manager.

Paramedic Method Practice 2.It is widely known that the engineers at Sandia Labs have become active participants in the Search and Rescue operations in most years. 3.After reviewing the results of your previous research, and in light of the relevant information found within the context of the study, there is ample evidence for making important, significant changes to our operating procedures. 2. In recent years, engineers at Sandia Labs have participated in the Search and Rescue operations. (Original word count: 24. New word count: 16). 3. After reviewing the results of your research, and within the context of the study, we find evidence supporting significant changes in our operating procedures. (Original word count: 36. New word count: 25).

2 Word Logic Chpt 7

There, Their, They’re There is an adverb meaning "that location." It is sometimes used with the verb to be as an idiom. It is spelled like here which means "this location." – I put the collar right there. (that location) – There are five prime numbers less than ten. (with to be) Their is a possessive pronoun. It always describes a noun. – Note the spelling of their. It comes from the word they, so the e comes before the i. – Their dog has fleas. (possessive of they) They're is a contraction of they are. – Note the spelling: The a from are is replaced by an apostrophe. – They're number 1! (contraction of they are) Ways to remember. If you see HERE it is a place! (Where, There, Here). If you see HEIR it means they own something.

To, Too, Two To is a preposition which begins a prepositional phrase or an infinitive. – We went to a baseball game. (preposition) – We like to watch a good ball game. (infinitive) Too is an adverb meaning "excessively" or "also." Way to remember: TOO is extra, also, excessive. It has excessive O’s – We ate too much. (meaning "excessively") – I like baseball, too. (meaning "also") Two is a number. Way to remember: Words which reflect the number two are spelled with tw: twin, twice, between, tweezers, etc. – Six divided by three is two. (number) – They own two Brittany spaniels. (number)

Who’s/Whose Who's is a contraction of who (pron.) and is (v.) – Who's awesome? Whose means “who owns” or “who was”, etc. It is a possessive pronoun (adj.) – Whose responsibility was it to bring eggs? Whose → those Who’s = who is

Your, You’re your is a possessive adjective, indicating ownership of something That is your sock. Where is your potato? you're is a contraction (combination) of you and are Do you know what you're doing? You're stupid. WTR: if you own it, it is yours. If you can replace it with You Are, then it is you’re

Its/It’s It's is a contraction for it is. – It's been good to know you. it has – It's a trap! Contraction: it is Its is a possessive pronoun meaning, more or less, of it or belonging to it. – The cat liked its carrier. WTR: A simple test – If you can replace it[']s in your sentence with it is or it has, then your word is it's; otherwise, your word is its.

Quiet, Quite, Quit Quiet (adj) “of little activity,” (n.) meaning “tranquility” or “silence.” (v.) “to cause to be quiet.” – After lunch the children enjoyed an hour of quiet play. – We enjoyed the quiet of the countryside. Quite (adv) - “totally” or “completely.” – She was quite exhausted after the warm-up exercise. Quit - to stop, cease, desist. – I quit smoking.

Which, Witch Which – options – Which way should we go? Witch – evil, bad, or magical female – My sister is a witch. Way to remember: A witch is a *itch that you don’t want to mess with.

Choose/chose Choose is PRESENT TENSE for making a choice in the present. – You choose to take a Tylenol right now. Chose is PAST TENSE – tells that a choice was made in the past. – You chose tequila last night. WTR: 1 O = Over, happened in the past

Than / Then Than is a conjunction used with comparisons. rhymes with pan.comparisons. – He likes you more than me. Then is an adverb that refers to time. It rhymes with pen. – First you take a cup of flour, and then you sift it. WTR: ThAn for CompArison Then ← when ? Than = compare

Whether, Weather Weather is usually a noun, can also be verb that means "to be affected by the weather” or "to get/live through” – How's the weather? – The weather is always great this time of year – That house is really weathered – I know we can weather this crisis Whether is a conjunction that introduces possibilities or alternatives: – The cat can’t choose whether to cause mischief or not. – Whether you win or lose, you'll have done your best Ways to remember: whether is interchangeable with "if," while weather indicates the temperature and atmospheric conditions.

Cite/Site/Sight Cite – to quote, summon, commend or call. Cite the author in an endnote. The officer cited the drunk driver. Site – location, area, computer website, or to place something in an area You visit a Web site or the site of the crime. Sight – the act of seeing, a view, a glimpse/ observation, to look in a direction. I lost my sight in an accident. Cite = Call attention to Site = Scene, location Sight = vision

Waist/Waste Waste: (n) discarded objects, (v) to use carelessly – He wasted too much time. – The waste was toxic! Waist – (n) middle portion of the body – This model is bending at the waist. Way to remember: if its on my body, it needs an i.

We’re, Were, Where Were – (v) past tense of are. – Their eyes were watching god. We’re – contraction of we (pronoun) + are (v). – We’re not perfect. Where (adv) is at/in what place. – Where is Carmen Sandiego? WTR – when you see HERE it is a place!

Through / Threw Through means from one point to its end (adv.) or because of (prep.) – I went through a lot of pain. Threw is the past tense of throw which means to toss or to fling (v.) – He threw the ball right at me! Way to remember: -EW = an action, a THROW. Btw “thru” is an abbreviation, it’s NOT to be used outside of text messaging.

Write, Right, Rite Write (v): to form letters/words, to compose – I will write this paper, I guess. Right (adj) correct, conforming to justice (n) power or privilege, direction opposite of left. – What is the right answer???! Rite (n): traditional (often religious) ceremony. – A bridal shower is a rite of passage. Way to remember: not left but RIGHT, Written is based on Write.

Do/Due Do – to perform, to create, to deal with, to handle – I will do it later. Due – owed, because of – No one would hang out with him, due to his temper. – The money is due. WTR: If it involves $ (or means “because of”) use the UE version

Lose / Loose Lose (v) to suffer the loss of, to miss. – I win! You lose! – Don't lose your keys – I never lose bets Loose (Adj), the opposite of tight or contained. – My shoes are loose. – I have a loose tooth. – There's a goose running loose in the street. WTR: This confusion can easily be avoided if you pronounce the word intended aloud. If it has a voiced Z sound, then it’s “lose.” If it has a hissy S sound, then it’s “loose.” Loose rhymes with GOOSE, and both need 2 O’s

Maybe / May be Maybe, the compound word, is an adverb meaning "perhaps" or "possibly." – Maybe I will go out tonight. May be is a verb phrase meaning "might be" or "could be." – I may be going out tonight. If you can replace it with 2 words (“might be”) it IS two words.

Passed/Past Past: (adj, adv, noun, or prep) previously (a period of time before now) or a distance. Beyond in time, space, distance, amount – The team performed well in the past. – The police car drove past the suspect’s house. Passed, is an action. The past tense is “passed“: – The red truck passed the blue truck. – The teacher was astonished that none of the students had passed the test. – After a brief illness, he passed away. Ways to Remember: however you have ”passed the time” you have never “past the time,” not even in the distant past.

Beside/Besides Besides (Adv, prep) can mean “in addition to” Do you have any shirt besides the pink one. WTR : if it has an S it means “extra” (like a plural) Beside (prep, adv) in contrast, usually means “next to.” Pooh stood beside Rabbit, laughing.

Accept/Except Accept (v)– "to receive." – He accepted the gift. (He received it.) Except (prep, v) is usually a preposition meaning "but" or "leaving out." However, except can also be a verb meaning "to leave out."preposition – He liked everyone except Sabrina. – Way to remember – EX is like your EX that you want to LEAVE OUT!

Excess/Access Access –(n, v, adj) a way to enter. – This place has internet access?! Excess ––(n, v, adj) too much Excess fat in your diet is bad. WTR: EX = TOO MUCH.

Affect/Effect Affect –(v) to influence or alter in some way. Use the verb affected when you mean influenced | rather than caused. – The arrow affected the aardvark’s rear end. Effect – (n) the result of being affected. Use effect whenever any of these words precede it: a, an, any, the, take, into, no. (v.) Bring about, cause. – The effects of the rain have been local flooding. You use Effect after The, on, any, into, or no. ThE Effect. Affect – act on Effect – the outcome

Patience/ Patients Please have some patience: I will be able to help you after I am done seeing these other patients. Patients = people Patience = ability to wait!

Break/Brake Brake – (n) mechanical device that allows one to stop travel, or a large/coarse fern – (n) anything that slows or hinders progress – (v) cause to stop travel Break – (v) find a flaw in, solution to, weaken or destroy in spirit or physical sense, fall sharply, crack, become fractured, happen, ruin, escape from jail, scatter or part, etc.

Words in common use that aren’t words Alot Alright Irregardless Its’

Final Draft Due beginning of next class.