Great lines from your descriptive writing By: English 11 students

Fantastic The beach is always at its best right around sunset. The beach is always at its best right around sunset. Great opening line Great opening line The soft wind rustles the dangling dried pine needles that hang from the reaching branches. The soft wind rustles the dangling dried pine needles that hang from the reaching branches. Small ripples float across the pale blue water. Small ripples float across the pale blue water. Great details Great details It reminded me of jagged ice melting in the sun. It reminded me of jagged ice melting in the sun. Gives reader a perspective Gives reader a perspective

Makes me want to read! The mossy tinted rocks on the shore and the muddy beach look close to the towering hills in the crisp reflection on the water. The mossy tinted rocks on the shore and the muddy beach look close to the towering hills in the crisp reflection on the water. Glistening under the sun like tiny microscopic diamonds, it no longer looked like the snow I thought it might be but vast land drenched with sugar, tiny rolling hills of sugar. Glistening under the sun like tiny microscopic diamonds, it no longer looked like the snow I thought it might be but vast land drenched with sugar, tiny rolling hills of sugar. I rise stiffly from my bed of pine needles on the hard, cruel earth.... I gaze out eastwards, and on the horizon a pink glow danced across the sky. I rise stiffly from my bed of pine needles on the hard, cruel earth.... I gaze out eastwards, and on the horizon a pink glow danced across the sky.

I feel like I’m there! Stopping to meditate on the top of a hill that crossed the far end of the lake, I listened to the sounds of the ducks splashing and wading in and around the water. Stopping to meditate on the top of a hill that crossed the far end of the lake, I listened to the sounds of the ducks splashing and wading in and around the water. gives us a perspective from which to view the scene gives us a perspective from which to view the scene It is silent except for the melody coming from the crackling of a fire in the campsite below. It is silent except for the melody coming from the crackling of a fire in the campsite below. Cameras and reporters surround the players like bullies. Cameras and reporters surround the players like bullies.

You give me a way to see the scene! As the hot warm breeze picked up a little, I could smell hot dogs and hamburgers on a grill. My mouth started to water like a dog waiting for a piece of steak. As the hot warm breeze picked up a little, I could smell hot dogs and hamburgers on a grill. My mouth started to water like a dog waiting for a piece of steak. describing how the smell affected the writer helps the reader to understand the experience describing how the smell affected the writer helps the reader to understand the experience Under the trees the shed leans to the side as if you could knock it over with a feather. Under the trees the shed leans to the side as if you could knock it over with a feather. The memories of the past were obviously still there. As we sat in our pew, the eyes of hatred pressed on us as if we were the corporations that oppressed them. The memories of the past were obviously still there. As we sat in our pew, the eyes of hatred pressed on us as if we were the corporations that oppressed them. gives reader a perspective from which to view the scene gives reader a perspective from which to view the scene

If all description was this good... Right in front of me there stand small buildings huddling together as if the wind could knock them out in the open. Right in front of me there stand small buildings huddling together as if the wind could knock them out in the open. nice verbs nice verbs I... hear the bored cows carrying on their conversations in the pasture. I... hear the bored cows carrying on their conversations in the pasture. interesting twist on what is seen – a perspective interesting twist on what is seen – a perspective The feeling of excitement shoots through my veins as soon as I feel my feet sink into the gritty, branding sand. The feeling of excitement shoots through my veins as soon as I feel my feet sink into the gritty, branding sand. shows how the senses affect you shows how the senses affect you

Unfortunately, this is the last slide. A soft breeze tickles my face gently with the salty aroma of the ocean. A soft breeze tickles my face gently with the salty aroma of the ocean. how senses affect you how senses affect you This place always reminds me of a dream I once had when I was little and I’ll never forget it. This place always reminds me of a dream I once had when I was little and I’ll never forget it. Clinching line wraps it up and gives perspective Clinching line wraps it up and gives perspective The bright green grass flickered in the screaming wind. The bright green grass flickered in the screaming wind. Good verb Good verb