Cohabitation Chapter 5 Conflict and Conflict Resolution Chapter 5

Chapter Overview I.Homework for Ch 8 II.Introductory “Quiz” III.Thought for the week. IV.Consider the Following V.Marital Conflict VI.Tools

I. Homework for Ch 8 Record your expenses for a month.

Example: Gas $35.20 Snacks Movie & Dinner Hair gel 5.40 Binder Paper 2.59 Note book 4.89 Donation to Cancer Fund 5.00 Total $113.73

II. Introductory “Quiz”

True 1. Americans have a taboo against expressing anger.

False 2. The best marriage partners practice the saying, "Peace at any price.”

False (see p. 138) 3. Love is the opposite of hate.

False 4. Anger is caused by others.

False (see p. 139) 5. The best way to deal with anger is to let it all out.

Let’s talk about it. 6. Anger is a beneficial emotion

True 7. We do not have to get angry, we choose to get angry.

True 8. Personal taste is a major source of conflict

False 9. When solidifying agreements during conflict, it’s best to do it immediately.

False 10. All conflicts can be resolved.

True 10. Marital aggression is always accompanied by verbal aggression (words used to hurt, belittle, or scare a spouse).

III. Thought for the Week: It must needs be, that there is opposition in all things. Lehi, abt. 600 B.C.

III. Consider the Following: The tops of the mountains, where the sun always shines, are the most barren parts.

A.It’s is Inevitable 1.Perspective 2.Tremendous Trifles B.Conflict v. Contention C.Conflict Management V. Marital Conflict

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A.Marital Conflict is Inevitable 1.Perspective 2.Tremendous Trifles B.Conflict v. Contention C.Conflict Management IV. Marital Conflict

1. Conflict

2. Contention

A.It’s Inevitable 1.Perspective 2.Tremendous Trifles B.Conflict v. Contention C.Conflict Management V. Marital Conflict

C.Conflict management 1.Passive: Avoidance 2.Assertive: Confrontation and Solution 3.Aggressive: Hurting another to get one’s way

3. Aggressive: Marital Aggression a.Verbal/Emotional b.Minor Physical c.Severe Physical

VI. Tools A.The Hierarchy of Conflict B.Uncle Boyd’s Advice (see Handout Packet) C.Myths and Facts (see pg. 139) D.Fair Fighting (see pg. 146) E.Book Review

A. The Hierarchy of Conflict Exchange on daily events Discussion of ideas Expression of feelings Need for decision Decision making Problem solving Crisis See Handout “Decision Making,” by Body K. Packer

VI. Tools A.The Hierarchy of Conflict B.Uncle Boyd’s Advice (see Handout Packet) C.Myths and Facts (see pg. 139) D.Fair Fighting (see pg. 146) E.Book Review

VI. Book Review Gottman, J. M. (1994). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail and How You Can Make Yours Last. (Simon & Schuster: North Killingholme, UK).