Bullying Doneishia Hill EDUC303

What is Bullying? Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems. Or some may say : A way of using power aggressively in which a person is subjected to intentional, unwanted and unprovoked hurtful verbal and/or physical actions. Bullying results in the victim feeling oppressed, fearful, distressed, injured, or uncomfortable. The aggression is repeated on more than one occasion and can include: physical, verbal, emotional, racial, sexual, written, electronic, damage to property, social exclusion, and intimidation. Bullying may be motivated by actual or perceived characteristics such as race, color, religion, ancestry, national origin, gender, sexual orientation or identity, mental, physical or academic disability. Bullying often takes place in a social context. The definitions may all look different but they all have the same meaning. No matter how fancy the definition may look BULLYING is still BULLYING.

Forms of Bullying Bullying is Not Teasing It might be hard to tell the difference between playful teasing and bullying. Teasing usually involves two or more friends who act together in a way that seems fun to all the people involved. Often they tease each other equally, but it never involves physical or emotional abuse. Verbal bullyingis saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes: Teasing, name-calling, inappropriate sexual comments, taunting,or threateningto cause harm. This picture represents a little boy being teased as he is being pointed ridiculed by another little boy. Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes: Leaving someone out on purpose, telling other children not to be friends with someone, Spreading rumors about someone, or embarrassing someone in public. Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying includes: Hitting/kicking/pinching, spitting, tripping/pushing, taking or breaking someone’s things, or making mean or rude hand gestures.

Signs of Bullying Signs a Child is Being Bullied Comes home with torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing, books, or other belongings Has unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches Has few, if any friends, with whom he or she spends time Seems afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus, or taking part in organized activities with peers (such as clubs) Takes a long, "illogical" route when walking to or from school Has lost interest in school work or suddenly begins to do poorly in school Appears sad, moody, teary, or depressed when he or she comes home Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or other physical ailments Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams Experiences a loss of appetite Appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem Signs a Child is Bullying Others Get into physical or verbal fights Have friends who bully others Are increasingly aggressive Get sent to the principal’s office or to detention frequently Have unexplained extra money or new belongings Blame others for their problems Don’t accept responsibility for their actions Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity

What to do if your child is the VICTIM ? Open the discussion Children who are bullied may be reluctant to discuss the bullying. They might feel embarrassed, at fault or even scared that the bullying will escalate if it’s revealed. If you think that your child is reticent to talk about being bullied, you can try a subtle approach to opening a discussion. “Its best not to use the words bullying,” he says, ”because for many being the target of bullying is associated with weakness or negativity.” Try discussing topics like your child’s relationships with friends or a recent occurrence of bullying or harassment in the media. Even if your son or daughter does not open up about bullying right away, you have begun opening an important line of communication. If your kid does start speaking about being bullied, stay consistently supportive, and commend your child for sharing with you. Make sure to let your child know that he or she did nothing wrong, and you will handle the bullying together. Provide comfort and advice Putting a stop to bullying is not as immediate as many of us would like, but you can provide tips for avoiding the harassment. In the case of bullying over the Internet, or cyber-bullying, you can walk your child through privacy settings or discuss temporarily abstaining from the online activity to avoid the bully. Encourage your child to use the buddy system at school. Try to teach your child how to cool down in response to bullying, as reacting may just encourage the bully. Experts recommends removing the bully’s incentives. For example, if a bully keeps stealing your child’s lunch money, you may want to start packing a lunch. You should stress that there is nothing shameful about the high road. Children should also be reminded that even if these fail, they are in no way responsible for being bullied. Approach the school Your first avenue to stop the bullying should be the school. While your son or daughter may beg you to keep the whole thing under wraps, adult intervention is a necessary part of ending bullying. Discuss the situation with your child’s teachers and principal, and make clear that you want tangible, immediate efforts. Remind the teachers that your child may not be the only one who is being bullied. Familiarize yourself with the school’s bullying policies, as well as any relevant state laws. If you think your child may be in danger, you may also wish to contact legal authorities. Whomever you approach, you should know the name of the bully and specific instances of bullying. What to avoid Parents should listen calmly and carefully to their children–this means do not overreact. Screaming or crying may just intimidate your child and possibly hinder future communication. Discovering that your child is being bullied is an undoubtedly emotional experience for you, but your child’s comfort should come first. Parents should also take their children seriously. Do not laugh off the situation or accuse your child of exaggerating, or again, they may shut down completely. Your primary goal is to show your child that you understand the challenges of being bullied, and you will be there to stop it as a team.