An Introvert’s Dilemma By: Nathan Barria

Definition Introvert Introverts are people who are easily tired out from social interaction and are more comfortable engaging in activities that involve the mind. It is usually through being alone with their own thoughts that introverts get to replenish their energy. Extrovert Extroverts can be described as people who are stimulated and get their energy through social interaction and “high energy activities” such as through parties, physical sports, and other activities that require interaction.

Introduction In today’s society, the Extroverted Ideal is dominant. This means people who are outspoken, have a strong presence, and are more socially active are thought to be more likely to succeed and achieve more in life, thus resulting introverted people being pushed to the side and be lowly regarded. In fact, introverts were labeled as problematic, strange, and social outcasts. Because of this, many introverted children and even adults were and still are treated unfairly, causing them to question who they were and succumb to depression and identity crisis. Moreover, people formed many misconceptions about introverts that are usually not true. I’ve seen many introverts that were labeled as outcasts and were usually ignored despite having amazing talents or skills, causing them to believe that there is something wrong with them.

Purpose Through my research, I hope to clear away the misunderstandings people have about introverts and to end the suffering of introverts everywhere. By doing this, I hope to encourage the development of a society that will treat introverts just as well as they would an extrovert.

Misconception 1 Introverts don’t like to talk. Introverts, by nature, are usually introspective, meaning that they often prefer to focus inwards on their own thoughts. Introverts usually speak when they have something to say and tend to think before speaking. Some introverts are also known to dislike small talk or easily get bored from it, preferring conversations with more depth. However, this doesn’t mean that they don’t enjoy lighter and more everyday conversations from time to time. This is often why they appear uninterested or rude when talking to others about things that aren’t within their spheres of interest. Introverts also listen to what others say before speaking. In groups, introverts tend to prefer to listen to other’s ideas and build upon them by making suggestions and comments on how to improve an idea, though they aren’t afraid to present their own idea if the situation requires it. They often work better with people who generate ideas because of this, generally giving them a position of a “guiding leader” by means of enhancing the quality of people’s ideas. If an introvert talking to someone they are comfortable around about a topic they are passionate about, they can talk for hours on end without stopping.

Misconception 2 Introverts are shy. Though some introverts may actually be shy, not all of them are. Some simply prefer to have a reason to initiate interaction before actually doing so. They are generally more reserved than the more outgoing extroverts (who tend to be able to interact more easily with people including those they don’t know) and prefer not to get into other people’s affairs as much. Also, the definition of being shy is having an aversion towards social interaction or having/showing nervousness in the company of other people. This is not true for all introverts because some actually enjoy social interaction just as much as any other person would. The only difference is that they avoid large crowds and can usually be found at the edges of the room during large parties.

Misconception 3 Introversion is something that can be cured. Introversion is not a sickness that is to be treated like a disease or a virus. Today’s world is one where the Extrovert Ideal is more sought after, this ideal being that people who are more outgoing, outspoken, and socially active are more successful while reclusive, silent people are reprimanded for traits that they were naturally born with. With extroverted traits being set with higher regard, people who are introverted are pushed into the background and go unnoticed in workplaces, social gatherings, and in schools. It is not uncommon for introverted children to be bullied in schools for being reclusive, appearing strange (in other children's’ point of view), and not speaking up. Some parents even reprimand their children for not socializing and criticize them if they are too soft spoken. People can’t help but be who they are; it is difficult for someone to change their entirety when all they can cling to are the traits they were born with. You can’t blame a person for being quiet if he or she wants to, and you can’t force someone to do something he or she dislikes. The same thing goes for introverts. Thankfully, there are a lucky few who learn that what they are, introverts, is not a sickness. It is something that they are born with and (more often than not) something they chose to become. Although society is beginning to realize this now, many people are still being put down for their introverted traits. Since this is a time of technological advancement and all types of information can be accessed by different kinds of people, it is time to stop this destructive act and to accept introverts for who they are. You can’t ask an introvert to become an extrovert. It’s like asking a duck to become a dragon. However, there are introverts that have learned to adapt to these situations and have become situational extroverts or are able to act extroverted in certain environments and situations.

Misconception 4 Introverts don’t like people, don’t have friends, and are unemotional. Introverts don’t usually initiate conversations or social interaction and are often found daydreaming or thinking to themselves while the others around them participate in conversations and social activities. This may appear to people as being antisocial and rude and gives them an image that introverts dislike people in general, however this is not usually true. In a sense, introverted people may be very picky with their friends and are very selective with whom they share their inner thoughts and emotions with. That is why it may be uncomfortable for an introvert to express his or her feelings with people who he or she isn’t familiar with and is also why they may put up an emotionless mask or a blank look to hide their true thoughts from others. In truth, introverts can be every bit as emotional as everyone else.

Misconception 5 Introverts don’t like to go out. Contrary to this, many introverts love the outdoors and can often be found exploring many different places, and can be found either alone or in a small group. The difference is that introverts prefer not to stay in public for extended periods of time because the high level of stimulus provided by public places and the large crowds that usually follow tire them out. This is because introverts are the type of people who gain their energy through introspection and being alone to think or simply to relax and enjoy the moment. Introverts may sometimes even prefer a captivating book or an interesting video game to a party or a night out, though this doesn’t mean that they dislike socializing.

Misconception 6 Introverts are depressed people. Reclusiveness and constant silence are not signs that people are depressed, especially more so with introverts. The thing with introverts are that they require ‘alone time’ to recharge and feel energized and they talk when they find the reason to. Some introverts are even at their happiest when they are alone!

Misconception 7 Introverts are uptight and don’t know how to have fun. Although it may seem this way, introverts can be fun if they are doing something they enjoy. They may appear uptight and boring when exploring the unknown but they may actually be enjoying the experience and just need to warm up to it more. When faced with an activity of little interest to themselves, introverts tend to daydream or subside into themselves to stay internally active.

Conclusion After learning all these types of things about introverts, it is easy to see why people judge them the way they do. However, it’s still not right for people to judge others without getting to know more about them first. In the quickly evolving society we live in today it is important to become more accepting of other people because we may never know where the next big idea or a great opportunity may come from. Both introversion and extroversion should be treated equally for both have their good qualities that compliment the other. A world without either of the two would mean that we wouldn’t have all the great things we have today. We wouldn’t have Apple if not for the extroverted Steve Jobs, nor would we have Microsoft if the introverted Bill Gates didn’t exist. Times are changing and it is important to become more accepting of others if we, as humans, are to progress further in the future. Ultimately, it is up to the individual weather they will make use of what they learned. It is a choice to make and it is a choice that can change the world. Be the change.