The Syllabus! 8 or 9 easy steps to ensure a cheerful and productive year…. …and the awful punishments that accompany your failure.

This is your teacher.

Initially, he seems angry all the time! But if you take care to follow a few simple rules, you may prevent him from flipping out and shaving his head like the crazy guy in Taxi Driver.

Rule #1: Come prepared to class EVERYDAY!!! You are responsible for bringing the following items to class each and every day: 2 blue or black ink pens Your writing notebook Your book(s) and handouts. If you do not come prepared and have to go visit your locker, you are tardy. More than two tardies, and you earn a detention. What happens during your detention?

Rule #2: Have your homework ready to turn in at the beginning of class! All homework will be collected at the beginning of class. Come to class with documents ALREADY stapled. You will not find a stapler in this class, and I don’t accept paper clips, tape, weird origami tears, tacks, glue, or soldered pieces of metal. Your header needs to be properly formatted according to MLA guidelines. No frilly paper! I hate frillies! What happens when you turn in frilly papers?

No food is allowed in class, not even if you brought enough to share with everyone. You may bring water to class, but only in bottles. No paper cups, flasks, or camel- bladder canteens will be tolerated. What happens if you eat food in class? Rule #3: No food in class!

This means no cell phones, no iPods, no iPhones, no iMicrowaves, no GPS locators, no Jack Bauer-style PDAs, and no x-box 360s. Cell phones are especially forbidden. Don’t think you can secretly TXT your buddy under the desk while making apathetic eye contact with the teacher. I’m on to you, pal! What happens if you reveal an electronic device in class? Rule #4: No electronic devices allowed!

Sometimes late work is allowed, provided certain extenuating circumstances. Come talk to me if you have questions about what such circumstances would entail. If you are absent, you are responsible for making up your work in a timely fashion. You will have the number of days you were absent to make up any homework, tests, or other class projects. If you missed a film viewing, you must make it up on your own in the library. Unless it is an extreme case, tests or quizzes not made up within a week of returning are automatically a ‘0.’ With Pinnacle, ignorance is no longer an excuse. What happens if you fail to make up late work? Rule #5: Late work and make-ups

All essays can be rewritten if you wish. For AP students, all essays receiving a grade of ‘4’ or below must be rewritten. Rewrites are due one week after I hand back your first draft. Rewrites are not simply corrections where you add a new sentence, correct the spelling of “receive,” and drop in some random commas. It is an exhaustive rethinking and reconstruction of your original idea. You must seek help with rewrites. Either visit the Writing Center (B135) or set up an appointment with me. What happens if you do a poor job on rewrites? Rule #6: Essay rewrites

I am always willing to have a conversation with you about a grade that you have received. However, that conversation must take place after 24 hours have elapsed. This reflection period allows you opportunity to think over my comments, address concerns, and prepare for our meeting. I do not discuss grades during passing periods. What happens if you ask to talk about grades during passing periods? Rule #7: Conferencing with teacher

Attend to bathroom needs during the passing periods. Do not ever ask to go during the middle of the period. This includes during independent work periods and when you’ve finished a test. Wet yourself. I’m kidding about the last part. But not really. We go bell to bell in this class. Prior to the release bell, do not pack up your bags and congregate by the door. I hate that. What happens when you pack up early and line up by the door? Rule #8: Bathroom breaks and the end of the period

Impaled by narwhal

This is the big one. Because this is a discussion oriented class, I will only tolerate one voice at a time. If you are carrying on side conversations while myself or someone else is trying to make a point, I shall be very cross with you. What happens when I get very cross? Rule #9: One person speaks at a time

Follow these procedures and you will find this an enlightening and pleasant class. What happens if you don’t follow these procedures?