ACT fIVE

SCENE ONE DOCTOR GENTLE WOMAN I have been around for two nights, but I haven’t seen what you reported yet.

ACT fIVE SCENE ONE DOCTOR GENTLE WOMAN I’m telling you, ever since Macbeth went to fight, she has sleepwalked and talked in her sleep.

ACT fIVE SCENE ONE DOCTOR GENTLE WOMAN Sleepwalking is a bad sign. What has she been saying?

ACT fIVE SCENE ONE DOCTOR GENTLE WOMAN I’m not about to repeat what she’s been saying. It’s too messed up to say without you witnessing it.

ACT fIVE SCENE ONE DOCTOR GENTLE WOMAN Here she comes! Watch how she moves about while asleep. LadyLady MACBETHMACBETH

ACT fIVE SCENE ONE DOCTOR GENTLE WOMAN What’s up with how she’s rubbing her hands? LadyLady MACBETHMACBETH

ACT fIVE SCENE ONE DOCTOR GENTLE WOMAN Yeah, she does that all the time. I saw her do it once for like fifteen minutes. LadyLady MACBETHMACBETH

ACT fIVE SCENE ONE DOCTOR GENTLE WOMAN LadyLady MACBETHMACBETH Here’s a spot. Out damned spot! Who would have thought Duncan would have so much blood?

ACT fIVE SCENE ONE DOCTOR GENTLE WOMAN Oh snap, did you hear that? LadyLady MACBETHMACBETH

ACT fIVE SCENE ONE DOCTOR GENTLE WOMAN LadyLady MACBETHMACBETH Macduff’s wife is dead too. Will I ever get this blood off my hands? And can’t forget Banquo. Lots of Banquo blood… To bed, to bed.

ACT fIVE SCENE ONE DOCTOR GENTLE WOMAN LadyLady MACBETHMACBETH Macduff’s wife is dead too. Will I ever get this blood off my hands? And can’t forget Banquo. Lots of Banquo blood… To bed, to bed.

ACT fIVE SCENE ONE DOCTOR GENTLE WOMAN Well, I can’t help her. She needs a priest more than a doctor. Sounds like a guilty conscience. I sure hope she doesn’t kill herself or anything…

ACT fIVE SCENE two ROSS ANGUSANGUS CAITHNESS MENTEITH

ACT fIVE SCENE two ROSS ANGUSANGUS CAITHNESS MENTEITH The English forces are coming, with Malcolm, Macduff, Siward, and his son. They’re heading to Macbeth’s castle in Dunsinane.

ACT fIVE SCENE two ROSS ANGUSANGUS CAITHNESS MENTEITH Let’s meet up with them at Birnam Woods. Macbeth knows he is screwed now!

ACT fIVE SCENE two ROSS ANGUSANGUS CAITHNESS MENTEITH Let’s go and swear allegiance to Malcolm.

ACT fIVE SCENE three MAcbeth No more reports about the English forces or rebels deserting my forces. They can all do whatever, but I will be fine as long as Birnam Woods don’t come to my castle! Why should I fear Malcolm? He’s born of a woman, isn’t he? I ain’t scared of nothing!

ACT fIVE SCENE three MAcbeth Why do you look so scared, servant?

ACT fIVE SCENE three MAcbeth There are t-t-t-ten th-th-thousand Geese, idiot?

ACT fIVE SCENE three MAcbeth Soldiers, sir.

ACT fIVE SCENE three MAcbeth Go man up, you wimp! I’m not scared of the English soldiers!

ACT fIVE SCENE three MAcbeth Seyton! This battler will either make me secure or will somehow dethrone me, but nothing really matters anymore anyway. My life has gone wrong – all those good things that accompany old age are gone and I have no real purpose left in life. Seyton! seyton

ACT fIVE SCENE three MAcbeth seyton All the reports are true. The English forces are almost here.

ACT fIVE SCENE three MAcbeth seyton Well, I’ll armor up and fight them all. Doctor, how’s my wife? DOCTOR

ACT fIVE SCENE three MAcbeth seyton DOCTOR She’s not sick physically, but instead mentally and spiritually. I can’t fix that.

ACT fIVE SCENE three MAcbeth seyton DOCTOR What about my country? Can you fix that?

ACT fIVE SCENE three MAcbeth seyton DOCTOR Dude, I’m just a doctor.

ACT fIVE SCENE three MAcbeth seyton DOCTOR Oh well! I ain’t fraid of nothin!

ACT fIVE SCENE three MAcbeth seyton DOCTOR I’m out of here!

ACT fIVE ROSS ANGUSANGUS CAITHNESS MENTEITH MALCOLM SCENE four YOUNG SIWARD

ACT fIVE ROSS ANGUSANGUS CAITHNESS MENTEITH MALCOLM SCENE four YOUNG SIWARD This is our day, friends! Everyone grab a branch from these Birnam Woods and carry it in front of you – that way we will camouflage how many men we have!

ACT fIVE ROSS ANGUSANGUS CAITHNESS MENTEITH MALCOLM SCENE four YOUNG SIWARD Okee-dokee, sir!

ACT fIVE ROSS ANGUSANGUS CAITHNESS MENTEITH MALCOLM SCENE four YOUNG SIWARD We’ve learned everyone else is abandoning Macbeth, so this should be easy, but only battle will determine the outcome.

ACT fIVE SCENE FIVE MAcbeth seyton Lock up the castle! Let those attackers die out there. We don’t need to fight the English and the Scottish rebels!

ACT fIVE SCENE FIVE MAcbeth seyton Aaaah!

ACT fIVE SCENE FIVE MAcbeth seyton What was that?

ACT fIVE SCENE FIVE MAcbeth seyton The cry of a woman, my lord. I’ll check it out.

ACT fIVE SCENE FIVE MAcbeth I have almost forgotten what it is like to be afraid. It used to be a scream like that would freak me out, but now I’m scared of nothing, thanks to the horrors I have witnessed.

ACT fIVE SCENE FIVE MAcbeth seyton Your wife’s dead.

ACT fIVE SCENE FIVE MAcbeth seyton What? She should have died later where I could properly give her the thoughts and words she deserves. Sigh.

ACT fIVE SCENE FIVE MAcbeth seyton Life just goes on and on, and I long for death. Life is pointless, full of sound and fury, and it signifies nothing.

ACT fIVE SCENE FIVE MAcbeth seyton What is it, messenger?

ACT fIVE SCENE FIVE MAcbeth seyton I don’t know how to tell you this, but Birnam Wood is heading this way.

ACT fIVE SCENE FIVE MAcbeth seyton WHAT?!?! You lie!

ACT fIVE SCENE FIVE MAcbeth seyton I promise, sir, but I saw the whole forest heading this way. It was weird.

ACT fIVE SCENE FIVE MAcbeth seyton If you’re lying to me, I will hang you on a tree until you starve. If you’re being truthful, you might as well hang me on that tree. Those witches have tricked me with their prophesies. Screw it! Let’s armor up and fight! Open the castle gates! I’m sick of life and ready to die, so I will die fighting!

ACT fIVE ROSS ANGUSANGUS CAITHNESS MENTEITH MALCOLM SCENE six YOUNG SIWARD Okay, everyone lose your leaves and be ready to fight! Siward and Young Siward will lead the charge!

ACT fIVE ROSS ANGUSANGUS CAITHNESS MENTEITH MALCOLM SCENE six YOUNG SIWARD Let’s attack!

ACT fIVE SCENE seven MAcbeth I can’t escape, but I can fight. Who is he that’s not born of a woman? I only have him to fear!

ACT fIVE SCENE seven MAcbeth YOUNG SIWARD Who goes there?

ACT fIVE SCENE seven MAcbeth YOUNG SIWARD I’m your worst nightmare, punk. I’m Macbeth!

ACT fIVE SCENE seven MAcbeth YOUNG SIWARD That’s the most hated name there is to me.

ACT fIVE SCENE seven MAcbeth YOUNG SIWARD It’s the most fearful name there is to you, also.

ACT fIVE SCENE seven MAcbeth YOUNG SIWARD You’re a liar!

ACT fIVE SCENE seven MAcbeth YOUNG SIWARD

ACT fIVE SCENE seven YOUNG SIWARD MAcbeth You were born of a woman, punk.

ACT fIVE SCENE seven Where are you Macbeth? I only want to kill you. If you die by someone else’s sword, my family’s ghosts will still haunt me.

ACT fIVE SCENE seven MALCOLM SIWARD This battle is going easily. Everyone keeps joining our side. You’re going to be king soon.

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MAcbeth I’ma kill everyone! I ain’t gonna kill myself!

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MAcbeth Turn, hellhound, turn!

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MAcbeth Macduff – I don’t want to kill you. I have too much of your family’s blood on me already.

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MAcbeth Shut your word-hole and talk with your sword, you evil, evil, evil villain of evilness!

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MAcbeth

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MAcbeth You’re wasting your time! You can’t hurt me because I’m charmed and no man born of woman can hurt me.

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MAcbeth Forget your charm, punk. Know that Macduff was untimely ripped from his mother’s womb! I was a C- section baby!

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MAcbeth Say what! Oh, those words have turned me into a coward! Those damn witches! I don’t wanna fight you anymore!

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MAcbeth Then throw down your sword so that we can torture you and mock you for being such a horrible tyrant!

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MAcbeth I will not give up to live that life. Though Birnam Wood came to Dunsinane, and you’re not of woman born, I will still try to the end. Bring it on, Macduff!

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MAcbeth

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MALCOLM SIWARD We won this battle pretty easily.

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MALCOLM SIWARD Yeah, but I haven’t seen Macduff or your son in a while. ROSS

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MALCOLM SIWARD ROSS Hey, Siward, your son’s dead.

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MALCOLM SIWARD ROSS Was he wounded in the front?

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MALCOLM SIWARD ROSS Yeah.

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MALCOLM SIWARD ROSS Well then, he died fighting, like a man. If I had as many sons as I have hairs on my head, I would not wish them to a fairer death. He died like a hero. And here comes more good news!

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MALCOLM SIWARD ROSS Hail Malcolm, King of Scotland! I totally got Macbeth’s head! C’mon everybody, hail Malcolm!

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MALCOLM SIWARD ROSS Hail, King of Scotland!

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT MALCOLM SIWARD ROSS Alright! Everyone who was loyal to me gets new titles, and everyone who left Scotland can come on home! Now that Macbeth is killed and Lady Macbeth has killed herself, God will help us to restore order and harmony. Let’s go to Scone to watch me be crowned!

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT SIWARD ROSS MALCOLM

ACT fIVE SCENE EIGHT

MACBETH’S CEMETERY MACDONWALD DRUNK GUARDS DUNCAN BANQUO LADY MACDUFF SON MACDUFF YOUNG SIWARD LADY MACBETH MACBETH

MACBETH’S CEMETERY MACDONWALD DRUNK GUARDS DUNCAN BANQUO LADY MACDUFF SON MACDUFF YOUNG SIWARD LADY MACBETH MACBETH Son Lady Macduff Macduff YOUNG SIWARD FAR AWAY How is the play over and I’m not King? hell LadyLady MACBETHMACBETH MAcbeth

hell LadyLady MACBETHMACBETH MAcbeth THE END