Romantic Sex Fantasy All the lonely people Where do they all come from? All the lonely people Where do they all belong? - Lennon & McCartney, “Eleanor Rigby,” 1966

“Gentlemen’s Club” Fantasy lovers provide sensation seeking, sexual arousal, intimacy without commitment beyond the dollar Interactions occur on stage, on the floor, & in private rooms Dancers use impression management techniques to elicit greater commitment from the patrons Dressing in costumes designed to trigger sexual fantasies, performing mock sexual movements, using body language to encourage patron to think he is special to the dancer Clientele is predominately heterosexual males Atmosphere in the club enhances erotic fantasy Even tipping engages fantasy as to what might be beneath the G string Lap dances allow for closer contact, but restrict patron’s touching the dancer So feelings of intimacy/ romance can be enjoyed without feelings of guilt, anxiety about performance

Strip patrons fall into 6 categories Lonely - trying to gain companionship, attention Socially impotent - unable to connect in other social settings Bold lookers - objectify dancers, just there for visual stimulation Detached lookers - strictly there for visual stimulation but don’t look as boldly Players - seek companionship & use personality to hit on girls; regular but small tippers Sugar daddies - older, more affluent, establishes a long-term relationship with one dancer

Dancers do more than dance Many dancers simply talk to the patrons & patrons are willing to pay for that time, seeking closeness, comfort, friendship, companionship Loneliness is so painful people are willing to pay for the illusion of closeness Long term regular patrons who focus on one girl may believe they have a serious relationship Patrons may need alcohol to reduce concerns about commitment, morality, or performance

Dancers fit in a unique category Sex workers are objectified, but they hold power through desire, fantasy & control of the patron They know their job is to make men feel desired & desirable; to be a screen for male fantasy They effectively work as sex therapists for some patrons- offering sexuality with no pressure Skin hunger- people are often deprived of physical contact with others

How do sex workers feel about their jobs? Initially they feel empowered, using their sexuality to gain income, attention Later in a stripper’s career they begin feeling drained, bad about their bodies, their sexuality, their intelligence, & their identity (some do transform their identity into sex therapist) Many will admit they would prefer to just talk and not strip, which is why they may try to develop a sugar daddy

Street workers have the most serious problems Usually have drug habits, experience more violence Mortality rates are 40 times higher than other sex workers More likely to have been sexually/physically abused as children Average age of introduction to prostitution is 13 – 14 yrs.

Prostitution Exists at all levels of society, as far back as history is recorded Venues range from high-end escort services, to brothel on wheels, to street workers Street workers usually have a pimp because their venue is so risky Most have HIV, STDs, Hepatitis C Only earn about $20,000/year

Why use a prostitute? For pleasure- usually only request common behaviors To enhance monotonous sex with the partner/wife Some try to engage wives/girlfriends to share it Emotional with no strings attached Most men believed the workers had mutual feelings toward them (most prostitutes don’t have feelings for client)

Law enforcement approach First Offender Prostitution Program has been used to educate johns about the life of the prostitute, even bringing in former sex workers to describe their lives The idea is to dispel the client’s fantasies and reduce demand If they understand the woman is simply there to earn a buck, further her drug habit, the john may lose interest in this habit