Chapter 7 Dating

7:1 The Dating Proces

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What is the Purpose of Dating You keep a positive attitude about yourself You avoid a long-term commitment too early in life You make decisions that are consistent with your long-term goals

Functions of Dating Dating is the pathway that leads to engagement and marriage

Understanding Others Develop close romantic friendships Learn how others: Think and feel What they like to do What are their goals

Understanding Yourself Developing a relationship requires that you also share you ideas and feelings

Providing Companionship Dating gives you the opportunity spend time with someone who shares your interests. Feelings of friendship may develop into a deeper relationship as your spend more time with the other person.

Improving Communication Skills Open communication is an important part of building any relationship Your verbal and nonverbal message need to match Need to practice active listening skills

Learning to Negotiate Sensitive to the other’s ideas and feelings Helps you develop empathy Helps you grow socially and emotionally

Learning to Be Responsible Provides opportunities to take responsibility Show responsibility for other commitments Show another person that you care about them

Evaluation Personality Traits Find out what personality traits you most like in a partner Evaluate qualities and find those that do or do not appeal to you What it takes to get along with your dating partner The qualities you would like to find in your ideal mate for marriage become easier to identify

Stages of the Dating Process Group Dating – a group of people spend time together and develop friendship Pair Dating – a couple will develop a relations with each other Steady Dating – a commitment to date only one person The couple may make a serious commitment to become engaged for marriage

Group Dating Informal group dating You can improve your social skills without making the commitment

Pair Dating Two people spend time as a couple building their friendship Double date – when another couple joins a date Steady dating or going out- commitment to date only each other

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Steady Dating Develop trust Openness Respect for each other Being themselves Resolving and handling conflicts in a positive way Disadvantages Limit your experiences with friends Limit your opportunities to meet new people Break up can be difficult Feel trapped Feel used or controlled You may not want to hurt the other person

Beginning a Dating Relationship Make your appearance count Be friendly, confident, and courteous Start a conversation Listen intently to what the person shares Plan some time together

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship Personal Boundaries Personal Boundaries are limits for behavior that you will accept in your relationships What you are willing to say Think Do in your relationship has crossed the line When one person in the relationship forces that other to do something outside of his/her personal boundaries, it is a sign of abuse Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship Any kind of physical abuse Verbal abuse Demands on your time Demands for sexual favors Disrespect for your ideas, feelings and person

Ending a Dating Relationship Dating relationships end in many ways: May not have enough in common Couples may drift apart One partner many not feel the relationship is growing close Breaking up most difficult of the person who wants to keep the relationship going Realize your partner will feel hurt Change your dating patterns Recognize your feelings are normal Emphasize other aspects of your life

Commitment to marry Most people follow the dating process through engagement to marriage Engagement is the formal commitment before marriage

7:2 Love

Romantic Love Infatuation – a strong feeling of attraction that tends to be self-centered or one-sided Some people are disappointed when this feeling fades

Mature Love Mature love is different from infatuation Characterized by giving and unselfish attitude Committed to finding and doing what is best for each other You cannot “fall” into mature love Mature love grows as a relationship grow

The Growth of Mature Love Develop Rapport Personal Sharing Trust develops Dependency on each other Feeling of satisfaction Chart pg 156 and 157

Making the Decision to Wait Set your personal boundaries Peer Pressure Media Pressure

Why Wait? Psychological Consequences Unwanted Pregnancy Values Does not mean commitment Self-doubt, guilt, feeling used or abused, fear and lack of trust Unwanted Pregnancy Sexually Transmitted Infections Human Papillomavirus (HPV) – genital warts Gonorrhea Chlamydia Genital Herpes Syphilis Hepatitis B HIV/AIDS

Responding to Pressure Set your personal boundaries Talk to your partner Avoid situations that may cause you to be tempted Never too late to make a decision to wait

Date or Acquaintance Rape Rape – forced sexual intercourse Date Rape – sexual intercourse with a dating partner Acquaintance Rape – occur between friends, classmates, or coworkers Date Rape Drugs cause victims to become physically helpless Has no color, smell or taste