High Stakes Dialogue Learning the Art of Crucial Conversations Rebekah Hackbusch Doug Longstaffe Martin Rovers

Welcome and Introductions What are we doing here?

Interprofessional Practice Teams Crucial Conversations in Health Care Getting Stuck Cognitive Distortions See the Whole Picture

Video

Getting Stuck BiasAwareness What we say What we hear What we see Case study

Training in Self-Awareness The art of the Ministry of Presence

Martin Buber: founder of Inter-professional practice?

“I do not accept any absolute formulas for living. No preconceived code can see ahead to everything that can happen in a man’s life. As we live, we grow and our beliefs change. They must change. So I think we should live with this constant discovery. We should be open to this adventure in heightened awareness of living. We should stake our whole existence on our willingness to explore and experience.”

Buber I-Thou.

Meeting of Souls Not found by seeking but by GRACE. We are CALLED to genuine dialogue rather than actively searching for it…

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. Viktor E. Frankl Viktor E. Frankl Viktor E. Frankl

Attentive silence

True Dialogue is an address of the heart.

Forms of Dialogue What form do you invite?

Technical dialogue

Monologue A distorted form of dialogue; words are said with little or no connection.

True Dialogue requires presence

What does Presence require?

Bringing all that you are to all that is. to all that is.

Presence

Presence

“Sawu Bona”

Clinical teams “For the meaning of life differs from human to human, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment.” Victor Frankl

Spiritual Care: the heart of team dialogue

Patterns Being Stuck Dictating Talking Politely Reflective Listening

Inter-professional Practice

Generative Dialogue

Reaching a deeper region of consciousness

Presence: Human purpose and the field of the future. We’ve come to believe that the core capacity needed for accessing the field to the future is presence. We first thought of presence as being fully conscious and aware in the present moment. Then we began to appreciate presence as deep listening of being open beyond one’s preconceptions and historical ways of making sense. We came to see the importance of letting go of old identities and the need to control… Ultimately, we came to see all aspects of presence as leading to a state of “letting come,” of consciously participating in a larger field of change. When this happens, the field shifts, and the forces shaping a situation can shift from re-creating the past to manifesting or realizing an emerging future. p.125 Peter Senge, Otto Scharmer, Joseph Jaworski, Betty Sue Flowers.

APPLYING OLD SKILLS IN NEW WAYS

Stage 1 Internal Stories Told with lightning speed Interpretation based on assumption Spoken with emotion or told only to one’s self with silent disdain

Stage 2 The Pool of Shared Meaning Pool Dumpers attacking, labeling, controlling Pool “Shunners” avoiding, masking, withdrawing

STAGE 3 Creating Safety Establish Mutual Purpose through Starting with heart Saying what you want Saying what you don’t want

Stage 3 -Safety - continued Ask for the others story (again) Acknowledge their feelings and conclusion Ask to review their observations ie their FACTS Look for agreement or commonality

Stage 4 – Share Your Story Tell your facts having reviewed them for accuracy Tell your story of interpretation with “feelings” not unrestrained emotion Talk tentatively but not wimpy (Goldilocks method)

Seek Common Ground AgreeingRepairingBuilding

Role Play 5 people patient care team manager registered nurse speech language pathologist Physician spiritual care worker

QUESTIONS ??????? Blessings on your crucial conversations!!!!!!!

References Crucial Conversations - Kerry Patterson et al - McGraw-Hill copyright 2002 Crucial Confrontations- Kerry Patterson et al - McGraw-Hill copyright 2005 Solving Tough Problems: An open way of talking, listening, and creating new realities. – Adam Kahane – Berrett- Koehler Publishers, Inc Martin Buber on education buber.htm