Chapter 8 Building Relationships through Positive Communication ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Communication skills are developed early in life Adults influence children by… Setting a good example for them Encouraging them to practice appropriate communication skills Listening to them ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Effective Listening Auditory physiology Physical makeup of the ear that enables hearing Sounds channeled through external auditory canal to the tympanic membrane (eardrum) and middle ear (ossicles) and then through auditory nerve to the brain for interpretation ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Effective Listening (continued) Auditory perception Ability to understand what has been heard ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Effective Listening (continued) Osmosis Tendency of fluids to gradually flow through absorbent material Young child’s “absorbent mind” Gradual, often unconscious mental process of assimilating concepts Absorbing information in a way that resembles osmosis ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Effective Listening (continued) Active listening Form of attentive listening in which one concentrates on what is being said Reflecting ideas back to the speaker to confirm understanding Mirroring Reflecting back the feelings expressed by someone else Repeating what you understood ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Underlying Feelings Emotions may unconsciously trigger inappropriate behavior Feelings must be considered to provide appropriate responses to behaviors Adults can help children understand the motives for their misbehaviors ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Addressing Underlying Feelings Before you can really help someone, you must understand that person’s underlying request Action? Information? Understanding and attention? Inappropriate interaction? ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Remember… Responsive and active listening is an integral part of child guidance Dependency and inappropriate interaction must be firmly and respectfully redirected ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Positive Instructions Versus Negative Commands Positive instructions are constructive, affirmative statements of desired or expected behaviors Negative commands are disapproving statements of what behaviors are not desired or expected Positive instructions are more effective than negative commands ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Characteristics of Assertive Communication Provides firm, confident statements; is persistently positive Is honest, but not brutal Requires respect and empathy to be effective Empathy shows understanding and compassion Concrete means specific and focused; it is the opposite of abstract or general ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Say What You Mean— Mean What You Say Ask a question only if the child really has a choice “Would you like something to drink?” State choices if the child will be allowed to choose “Would you rather have apple juice or milk?” If something must happen, do not discuss it forever “You must take your medicine so that your cough will get better" ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Adults Influence Children Adults should set a good example for children Adults should encourage children to practice appropriate communication skills ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Developing Responsibility Adults help children develop responsibility By encouraging children to talk about potential consequences of behavior ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Managing the Positive Confrontation Adults often avoid, squelch, dismiss, or deny negative feelings Tactics that avoid addressing feelings are ineffective and harmful to open, honest communication Positive confrontation is a healthy and natural part of social interaction ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Be assertive Assertiveness always requires respect and empathy to be effective Evasive tactics are ineffective and harmful to open, honest communication ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Adults can assist children in developing responsibility by encouraging them to think and talk about potential consequences of their behavior ©Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved.

Exploring Consequences Logical consequences that are not dangerous or unreasonable provide children useful feedback on the appropriateness of their behavior.