Chapter Eleven: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration The Interpersonal Communication Book 11th Ed. Joseph A. DeVito Chapter Eleven: Interpersonal Relationships: Growth and Deterioration This multimedia product and its contents are protected under copyright law. The following are prohibited by law: any public performance or display, including transmission of any image over a network; preparation of any derivative work, including the extraction, in whole or in part, of any images; any rental, lease, or lending of the program.

After all, my erstwhile dear, My no longer cherished. Need we say it was not love, Just because it perished? Edna St. Vincent Millay Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPTMENT Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Relationship Development Uncertainty Reduction Theory Social Penetration Theory Relationship Dialectics Theory Rules Theory Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Attraction theory Developt relationships with those who are similar to you, who are physically close to you, who offer you reinforcement,whom you consider attractive physically and in personality, and who are of a desired socioeconomic and educational level Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Attraction Theory Attractiveness Proximity Similarity Appearance Personality Proximity Similarity Matching Hypothesis Complementarity Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Affinity-Seeking Strategies Be of Help to Others Appear In Control Present Self as Socially Equal Present Self as Comfortable with Other Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Affinity-Seeking Strategies (continued) Allow Other Some Control Follow Cultural Rules Appear Active, Enthusiastic, Dynamic Stimulate and Encourage Other To Talk Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Affinity-Seeking Strategies (continued) Engage In Self-Disclosure Appear Optimistic Appear to Other as Independent Etc. Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Social Exchange Theory Profits Rewards Costs Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Social Exchange Theory You develop relationships that will enable you to maximize your profit (Thibaut & Kelley,1986) A theory based on an economic model of profits and losses and begin with the following equation: Profits = Reward – Costs. Enter & maintain relationships in which the rewards are greater than the cost. When the costs become greater than the rewards, the reason deteriorates Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Rewards: anything that you wuld incur costs to obtain Types of rewards in a love relationships: money, status, love,information,goods (Baron & Byrne,1984) Cost: things that you normally try to avoid,that you consider unpleasant or difficult Profit: what results when the costs are subtracted from rewards. Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Comparison Levels Expectations for Profits in Relationship Comparison Level for Alternatives Profits from Another Relationship Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Equity Theory Ratio of Rewards and Costs Equal to Partner’s Underbenefited, Less Likely to Succeed Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Equity theory Develop and maintain relationships in which your ratio of rewards compared to cost is approximately equal to your partner’s Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Equity Theory (continued) Relationship Satisfaction and Equity Equity, Culture, and Gender Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

RELATIONSHIPS MAINTENANCE Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Relationship Maintenance Behaviors To Keep the Relationship Intact To Keep the Relationship at its Present Stage To Keep the Relationship Satisfying Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Reasons For Relationship Maintenance Emotional Attachment Convenience Children Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Reasons For Relationship Maintenance (continued) Fear Inertia Commitment Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Rules for Maintaining Relationships Friendship Rules Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

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Rules for Maintaining Relationships Friendship Rules Romantic Rules Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Communication for Maintaining Relationships Be Nice : polite,cheerfull,friendly,avoid critism,compromise, self -sacrifice Communicate: talking about the honesty,& opennes in relationships, talking about shared feelings Be Open: direct discussion & listen to the other Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Communication for Maintaining Relationships (continued) Give Assurances: assure the other person of the significance of the relationship. Share Joint Activities: spend time with the other Be Positive: try to make interactions pleasant and upbeat Focus on Improving Yourself Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

RELATIONSHIPS DETERIORATION Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Causes Relationship Deterioration Beliefs about Relationships Excessive Intimacy Claims Third-Party Relationships Relationship Change Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Relationship Deterioration (continued) Undefined Expectations Sex-Related Problems Work-Related Problems Financial Difficulties Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Effects of Relationship Deterioration Loss of Benefits or Rewards Loss of Self-Esteem Financial Implications Not all Breakups are Bad Microsoft Image Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Communication in Relationship Deterioration Withdrawal Decline in Self-Disclosure Deception Positive and Negative Messages Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

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RELATIONSHIPS REPAIR Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Relationship Repair Interpersonal Repair Recognize the Problem Engage In Productive Communication and Conflict Resolution Pose Possible Solutions Affirm Each Other Integrate Solutions into Normal Behavior Risk Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

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Intrapersonal Repair Recognize Communication is Circular Realize the Interactions are Punctuated Stimulation and Response Can Break Unproductive Circle Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

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Strategies for Disengagement Use Positive Tone to Preserve Relationship Negative Identity Management Justification for Breakup Behavioral De-escalation De-escalate to Reduce Exclusivity Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Dealing with a Breakup Break the Loneliness-Depression Cycle Take Time Out Bolster Self-Esteem Remove or Avoid Uncomfortable Symbols Seek Support Avoid Repeating Negative Patterns Copyright © Allyn & Bacon 2007

Interpersonal Communication The Interpersonal Communication Book 11th Ed.