Why Peer Mediation? by Lisa Holz

Name String Toss Objectives (Do this for the mediators that were chosen) To have students become acquainted with each other To create a friendly environment To enhance listening skills

Name String Toss Procedures Sit or stand in a circle. Each person in the circle will have the opportunity to throw the ball in the circle. Throw the ball of string to another person in the circle, say your name and tell one thing you like to do. As you throw the ball, hold onto your end of the string.

Purpose of Mediation The purpose of having a school mediation program is to recognize that conflicts are a part of everyday life and students can solve their own conflicts.

Goals of Mediation To resolve peer disputes that interfere with the education process. To build a stronger sense of cooperation and school community. To improve the school environment be decreasing tension and hostility. To increase student participation and develop leadership skills To build self-esteem To improve student/student and student/teacher relationships.

What is Mediation? Mediation is a process of resolving disputes and conflicts with the help of a neutral third party, a mediator, who facilitates the process. Mediation allows disputing parties to bring their problem to the mediation table in order to work out their differences cooperatively. Mediation is non- judgmental. The goal is to not determine guilt or innocence, but to work out differences constructively.

Why Mediate??? Mediation is a new way to address old problems. Kids argue, push, call each other names and fight all the time and administrators and teacher spend more time complaining that all they do is discipline. Students need an opportunity to talk over their grievances in a neutral setting to work together to find solutions. This helps their anger and frustration to decrease instead of grow. It is better than detention, suspension, and parental involvement where they are not able to “vent” their anger

Student Mediators They trust and understand other students. They speak the same language and share common concerns. They do not pose a threat to other students because they are not the “authority.” Allows them to attack the problem and not each other. Shows that kids can “talk out” their problems. Starting from grade three, children can be trained as mediators.

No Mediation: Disputes that involve weapons, drugs, stealing, physical fighting and physical/sexual abuse should not be mediated. However, it is important that these students have an opportunity to talk over their actions.

Confidentiality It is extremely important that if students become peer mediators they must keep the information they hear to themselves, except in cases involving weapons, drugs, or abuse. The mediators are told that the serious cases are referred to the principal. Cases should NOT be discussed with other students. If they are then the mediator is dismissed from the program.

School Coordinator’s Role Helps with the student training sessions Introduces mediation to the staff and students Sets up the roster of mediators so the program works effectively and efficiently. Reinforces training when needed. Helps students mediate when they are having difficulty. Acts as the school “trouble-shooter”

How It Works Students are selected based on select characteristics. When students have a conflict they can opt to mediate. They fill out a form and 2 trained student mediators help them come to talk out the problem and come to a win/win solution. The mediators help the disputers “fight fairly.” Mediation is a “life skill.”

OBSTACLES There is not enough support in my building. Mediation will take too long; Kids are out of class too much. What if a mediator’s grades slip? What if a mediator needs mediation? “We don’t have conflicts here. This is not a “bad” school.” We don’t have money for this program. What if the disputants break their mediation contract?

A good conflict resolution program looks at causes of conflicts, the styles we use to deal with anger and conflict and how to resolve conflict creatively and nonviolently. A meaningful conflict resolution program can only exist in a nurturing and cooperative environment. Only the classroom teacher can build that kind of environment. Student mediators will learn skills such as verbal/non-verbal communication, listening, problem-solving, critical thinking, decision making, negotiation, and mediation. When students see the connections they understand conflict and develop a “way of thinking” that helps build peaceful relationships in their personal lives, communities, and world. This is why a mediation program should be in place in every school.

RULES OF MEDIATION Cooperate constructively Speak respectfully Listen with an open mind Act with kindness Respect each other’s feelings Take responsibility for what we say and do FOULS *blaming *bossing *bringing up the past *cruel humor *getting even *hitting *making excuses *manipulating *name calling *not listening *pushing *put downs *rude gestures *threats