“SHOW, DON’T TELL”

“Don’t tell us that the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. - Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)

“SHOW, DON’T TELL” A “telling” scene from Cinderella: At the stroke of midnight, Cinderella left the Prince and ran from the ballroom, down the stairs to the coach below. One of her slippers fell off, but there was no time to pick it up. She got in and the coach took off, arriving home just as the last chime of the clock rang, and everything turned back to the way it was before.

“SHOW, DON’T TELL” A “showing” scene from Cinderella: DONG! Midnight! Where had the time gone? “I must go,” said Cinderella, breaking away from the Prince. “Wait! Stop!” cried the Prince, running after her. Cinderella turned to look. DONG! She picked up her dress and dashed down the steps. In her hurry one of the glass slippers fell off. There was not time to stop and pick it up. DONG! The coach was waiting. She jumped in quickly. “Hurry!” she cried. The coach raced through the night. At the last stroke of midnight it turned into a pumpkin and Cinderella was no longer in the beautiful gown, but in her familiar rags.

“SHOW, DON’T TELL” Don’t TELL your readers what is happening, SHOW them! Write so that your reader can create a mental picture of the action…… “Telling” example: The hallway was crowded. “Showing” example: As I tried to walk down the hall, I had to dodge students coming straight at me from the other direction. At the same time, my heels were being stepped on by the students pushing from behind. We were like cattle being herded to the pasture!

“SHOW, DON’T TELL” Don’t TELL your readers what someone is saying, SHOW them! Write so that your reader can create a mental picture of the action…… “Telling” example: “You are such a jerk,” he said angrily. “Showing” example: “You are such a jerk!” Dan slammed the book shut and threw it on the floor. The pages ruffled open. He got to his feet, moving so fast his chair skidded against the floor and dented the wall.

“SHOW, DON’T TELL” Don’t TELL your readers about a character in your story, SHOW them! Write so that your reader can create a mental picture of the person…… “Telling” example: Dally Winston was mean and wild. “Showing” example: He had an elfish face, with high cheekbones and a pointed chin, small, sharp animal teeth, and ears like a lynx. His eyes were blue, blazing ice, cold with a hatred of the world. He had spent three years on the wild side of New York and had been arrested at the age of ten. The shade of difference that separates a greaser from a hood wasn’t present in Dally. They have a file on him down at the police station. He had been arrested, got drunk, rode in rodeos, lied, cheated, stole, rolled drunks, jumped small kids – he did everything.

“SHOW, DON’T TELL” “Showing” tips: Use sensory words – Your reader needs to be able to see, hear, taste, feel, & smell your description. Use figurative language – Similes & metaphors help to create an image. Use dialogue – It allows the reader to experience the scene. It tunes the reader into the tone & mood of the situation. Avoid linking verbs – Felt, seemed, tasted, appeared, “to be” words. Instead, show what it felt or tasted like! Don’t use adverbs (-ly endings) – never modify “said” with an adverb. Show how the person is acting.

NOW, YOU TRY……….

“SHOW, DON’T TELL” My room was a mess! “This is the best day of my life!” I said happily. The cafeteria was in a state of chaos! My best friend is great! It was the best summer vacation ever! He has terrible table manners!