Fulton Psychological Group Successful Communication with your Children

Fulton Psychological Group Individual Therapy Individual Therapy Group Therapy Group Therapy Parent Training Parent Training Family Therapy Family Therapy Couples Therapy Couples Therapy Psychological Testing Psychological Testing Psychiatry Psychiatry

Fulton Psychological Group Methods of Communication Talking Talking Body language Body language Tone Tone Texting Texting ing ing Facebook Facebook Sending pictures Sending pictures Writing notes Writing notes Actions Actions

Fulton Psychological Group Creating Opportunities Create direct and indirect methods Create direct and indirect methods Unplug you and your children while traveling, doing family activities and around meals Unplug you and your children while traveling, doing family activities and around meals Mealtime (don’t lecture, scold, reprimand) Mealtime (don’t lecture, scold, reprimand) Have your children do more with you (cook, household projects) Have your children do more with you (cook, household projects) Do fun things with your children Do fun things with your children

Fulton Psychological Group Creating the Right Environment Express your care and give positive feedback Express your care and give positive feedback Toleration helps, too much creates bad habits Toleration helps, too much creates bad habits Model communication by talking to your children about yourself Model communication by talking to your children about yourself Communicate through your actions: take an interest in their activities, be involved Communicate through your actions: take an interest in their activities, be involved Ask open ended or specific questions Ask open ended or specific questions Sandwich critical feedback Sandwich critical feedback

Fulton Psychological Group Teach Communication Skills Active listen, respond to both content and emotions Active listen, respond to both content and emotions Respond to both manifest and latent content Respond to both manifest and latent content Give feedback Give feedback Help establish feelings vocabulary Help establish feelings vocabulary Do the “try that again” method Do the “try that again” method Model good communication Model good communication Eye contact Eye contact Body language Body language Tone Tone Being clear Being clear

Fulton Psychological Group Watch the Tone Be empathic, show you understand their plight Be empathic, show you understand their plight Avoid a negative or hostile tone Avoid a negative or hostile tone Be direct and don’t engage in the drama Be direct and don’t engage in the drama Avoid getting too loud or too emphatic Avoid getting too loud or too emphatic Don’t be dismissive, take your children serious (their points are serious to them) Don’t be dismissive, take your children serious (their points are serious to them)

Fulton Psychological Group Parenting Styles and Communication Authoritarian Authoritarian Rigid, demands obedience, non-communicative Rigid, demands obedience, non-communicative Authoritative Authoritative Set rules, communicates reasoning, affectionate Set rules, communicates reasoning, affectionate Permissive (involved vs. uninvolved) Permissive (involved vs. uninvolved) Few boundaries, little structure, may or may not communicate or be involved Few boundaries, little structure, may or may not communicate or be involved

Fulton Psychological Group Managing vs. Relating Two general categories of parenting Two general categories of parenting We spend most of our time managing We spend most of our time managing Need to set up time for relating Need to set up time for relating Compartmentalize managing your children Compartmentalize managing your children

Fulton Psychological Group Don’t Tell, Ask When your children come to you with a problem, ask how they would approach it When your children come to you with a problem, ask how they would approach it When you see your children making a mistake, ask what the outcomes could be When you see your children making a mistake, ask what the outcomes could be Ask your children to evaluate themselves Ask your children to evaluate themselves Implement some of their ideas Implement some of their ideas Thinking aloud helps model problem solving Thinking aloud helps model problem solving

Fulton Psychological Group Dealing with High Conflict Don’t react negatively to negative feelings Don’t react negatively to negative feelings Be aware of your hot buttons Be aware of your hot buttons Empathize and let them express themselves Empathize and let them express themselves State problem and don’t get side tracked State problem and don’t get side tracked Solicit solutions, discuss pros and cons and come up with a viable solution Solicit solutions, discuss pros and cons and come up with a viable solution Avoid engaging, escalating Avoid engaging, escalating Take a break if necessary Take a break if necessary

Fulton Psychological Group Communicating Love Your children need to hear it expressed Your children need to hear it expressed Many ways to communicate love, affection Many ways to communicate love, affection Five love languages: Five love languages: Words of Affirmation Words of Affirmation Quality Time Quality Time Receiving Gifts Receiving Gifts Acts of Service Acts of Service Physical Touch Physical Touch

Fulton Psychological Group Things to Avoid Being overly critical (they need your acceptance) Being overly critical (they need your acceptance) Interrogations and yes & no questions Interrogations and yes & no questions Asking self incriminating questions when you know the answer Asking self incriminating questions when you know the answer Repeating yourself Repeating yourself Using too many words Using too many words Talking when tempers are flaring Talking when tempers are flaring