Why Children Need Father-Love and Mother-Love Much of the value mothers and fathers bring to their children is due to the fact that mothers and fathers are different. by Glenn T. Stanton http://www.family.org/socialissues/A000001142.cfm

To be concerned with proper child development is to be concerned about making sure that children have daily access to the different and complementary ways mothers and fathers parent.

The fathering difference is explained by fathering scholar Dr The fathering difference is explained by fathering scholar Dr. Kyle Pruett of Yale Medical School in his book Fatherneed: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child. Pruett says dads matter simply because “fathers do not mother.” Kyle D. Pruett, Fatherneed: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child, (New York: The Free Press, 2000), pp. 17-34.

Psychology Today explains, “Fatherhood turns out to be a complex and unique phenomenon with huge consequences for the emotional and intellectual growth of children.” “Shuttle Diplomacy,” Psychology Today, July/August 1993, p. 15.

A father, as a male parent, brings unique contributions to the job of parenting that a mother cannot. Likewise, a mother, as a female parent, uniquely impacts the life and development of her child. Brenda Hunter, The Power of Mother Love: Transforming Both Mother and Child, (Colorado Springs: Waterbrook Press, 1997).

Erik Erikson explained that father love and mother love are qualitatively different kinds of love. Fathers “love more dangerously” because their love is more “expectant, more instrumental” than a mother’s love.

The following are some of the most compelling ways mother and father involvement make a positive difference in a child’s life. The first benefit is the difference itself.

Mothers and Fathers Parent Differently

Mothers and Fathers Play Differently

Fathers Push Limits; Mothers Encourage Security

Mothers and Fathers Communicate Differently

Mothers and Fathers Discipline Differently

Fathers and Mothers Prepare Children for Life Differently

Fathers Provide A Look at the World of Men; Mothers, the World of Women

Fathers and Mothers Teach Respect for the Opposite Sex

Fathers Connect Children with Job Markets

We should disavow the notion that ‘mommies can make good daddies,’ just as we should disavow the popular notion of radical feminists that ‘daddies can make good mommies.’ …The two sexes are different to the core, and each is necessary – culturally and biologically – for the optimal development of a human being. David Popenoe, Life Without Father: Compelling New Evidence That Fatherhood and Marriage are Indispensable of the Good of Children and Society, (New York: The Free Press, 1996), p. 144.

Glenn T. Stanton is Director of Global Insights and Trends, and Senior Analyst for Marriage and Sexuality at Focus on the Family.