Simon Pellew Time for Families Strengthening Relationships 1

Young People’s relationships Relationships matter because: It affects mental health It affects where they live It affects re-offending (perhaps) 2

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Mental Health Examined 276 boys in prison in South California Found they adjusted to prison life, and depression went down. Adjustment much faster if they had visits (and the more the better) Adjustment much faster if their relationship with their parents was good Other relationships not much impact 4

Relationships key to desistance In UK, 411 men tracked since Marriage reduces offending and marriage breakdown increases risk of offending (by 44%) In USA a study of 500 delinquent boys, from mid- 1940s until they were 70. Marriage reduces risk of crime by 35% (this may apply to stable cohabitation as well) 5

Why do relationships have an impact? Men need to be committed Women control time and friendships Men have less time Change in male self-image – changing from a “lad” to a “family man” New social networks 6 It is not how many beers you have, it’s who you drink with that matters. Wife of a man who desisted from crime after she insisted he switch drinking venues

Impact of Building Stronger Families 7

Key Messages Stable relationships – avoid negatives (STOP signs) Happy relationships – promote positives (Love Languages) Forgiveness How to have a row 8

Stop doing STOP Scoring points Thinking the worst Opting out Putting down 9

Love Languages Quality Time Gifts Thoughtful Acts Words Physical Touch 10

Commitment Slide or Decide Cognitive or Emotional commitment 11

Forgiveness Big issue – few (or reality) of affairs It hurts Red – Amber – Green for the relationship 12

Implications Relationships are important Can be strengthened May cut re-offending rates May help with Restorative Justice 13