Through the eyes of a child The Children’s Center Salt Lake City, Utah

I want to tell you about my life

I was adopted when I was two years old.

I can’t remember much. I can’t even remember what my mommy looked like. But I do remember sounds of people yelling and doors slamming.

My mommy was sick all the time. People tell me she was on drugs.

But I don’t even know what that means.

I was cold.

And hungry lots of the time.

And when I slept I would wake up crying.

I would cry until someone came for me. My mommy would leave me with all sorts of people. I never knew who would get me out of my crib.

And I remember getting hit.

A lot.

One day my mommy forgot to come pick me up

That’s when the bad touching started

But I don’t want to talk about that.

The next thing I remember is my mommy crying and telling me goodbye

I think she told me she loved me

For the first time.

A lady took me to a new house. I saw people I had never seen before. And they told me they were my new mommy and daddy.

I didn’t understand

I was scared. I missed my mommy. When I was feeling bad I would throw fits that lasted a long time. And sometimes I would break my toys.

I couldn’t sleep at night. I would remember the hitting and the cold. And I would wake up screaming and crying.

On some days all I did was cry. Nothing felt right.

I didn’t feel like eating so I threw my food

On those days nothing they did could make me happy.

They couldn’t understand that even though my mommy did bad things I still missed her.

My new mommy and daddy would fight about me. My daddy said he’d had it with me. When my mommy put me to bed that night she was crying.

And that scared me because I knew that meant they were going to send me somewhere else

I remember crying myself to sleep that night.

They took me to The Children’s Center to get help. At first I felt frightened and I didn’t want my mommy to leave me there.

I didn’t want to play. I felt scared of all the other kids.

I wasn’t even sure how to play.

I wasn’t the only one who felt bad. My friend Sara would get upset and the big people would help her feel better.

One day I fell down and hurt my hands and my knees. My teacher ran over and picked me up and held me until I stopped crying.

No one had ever done that for me before.

But I felt all warm inside

And I liked it

When my friend Jen gets really sad she ruins her art and throws stuff. She says she doesn’t know where her mommy is either. She lives with her grandma.

The big people are there every day and they help us do things like play and draw pictures and they give us snacks.

And that feels so good for me.

I’m learning how to talk about how I feel. And I’m learning how to play.

Some days I still think about my mommy and I feel like crying. On those days no one can help me feel better.

But my new mommy and daddy aren’t fighting so much anymore.

They talk to big people at The Children’s Center too.

I don’t know what they talk about. But they seem to understand me better.

And they hold me and make me feel warm inside

And when they hold me I don’t hurt quite so bad inside anymore

They tell me that some day we’ll feel like a family. And they tell me that they’re going to keep me

forever

I hope so.

Our professional, compassionate staff is dedicated to bringing back the joy of childhood for literally hundreds of children and their families every year.

Without us, they have no place to turn for help. We are their hope. You are ours.

Although the problems and experiences depicted are real, they represent the experiences and feelings that are typical of hundreds of children who have attended The Children’s Center. They are not the actual stories of the lives of the children portrayed in the video Created by Douglas Goldsmith, Ph.D. Executive Director Music “The Vow” excerpted from “Kol Nidre Variations”, written by Ben Zebelman, Copyright 1999 ZenBen Music/Cyclops Music (ASCAP). Used by permission courtesy of Fish Music Group. All rights reserved. Copyright 2003 The Children’s Center