Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Communication Defined * The process of human beings responding to the symbolic behavior of other humans. * The process of using verbal and nonverbal cues to transact mutually understood meanings between two or more people within a particular context And environment.

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Linear Communication Model

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Interactive Communication Model

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Transactional Communcation Model

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Types of Communication n Intrapersonal Communication n Dyadic/Interpersonal Communication n Small Group Communication n Public Communication (Speaking) n Mass Communication

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Communication Satisfies Needs n Physical health - n Identity needs - n Social needs - n Practical needs -

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Is there an ideal way to communicate?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company What makes a communicator competent? n Have a wide range of behaviors (strategies) to accomplish your communication goals. n Select the behaviors that are most appropriate for a particular situation & be skillful in performing these behaviors n Have the ability to be empathic and the ability to look from other peoples perspectives. n Monitor your communication & adjust accordingly

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Will communication solve all problems? Is communicating always a good thing? Is more communication always better? Are meanings found in words or people? Can a single event or person cause another’s reaction? Does communication require complete understanding?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company “ The reality you believe in is the one you perceive.”

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Our Perceptions May Not Be Accurate 1. We attribute meaning to behavior whether accurate or not 1. We attribute meaning to behavior whether accurate or not u We often judge ourselves more charitably than others. u We are influenced by what is most obvious u We cling to first impressions, even if wrong u We tend to assume others are similar to us u We tend to favor negative impressions over positive ones u We blame innocent victims for their misfortunes 2. Situational Factors also influence our perceptions 3. Culture influences what we notice & how we interpret behavior 4.The ability to empathize also influences perception

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Perceiving the Self n Self Concept n Significant Other n Personality n Self-Fulfilling Prophecy n Self-concept both shapes and is affected by communication

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Impression Management n Perceived Self n Presenting Self n High self-monitors n Low self-monitors n Impression management includes manner (v & nv), appearance, setting n CMC = more control over what & how we communicate

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company “We all have ability. The Difference is how we use it.” Stevie Wonder

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Language As A Meaning System n Meanings are denotative and connotative n Meaning are in people n Meanings need referents n Meanings are infinite in number n Meanings are communicated only partially

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Language is Powerful n Does language shape or influence our attitudes towards others? n Does our language reflect our own attitudes towards others?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Language can create confusion and misunderstandings n Equivocal language: n Relative words n Overly abstract language (abstract ladder) n Fact-opinion confusion n Fact-inference confusion n Emotive language n Evasive language (euphemisms & equivocation)

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Similarities and Differences between Male & Female Language n Content n Reasons for communicating n Conversational styles n Non-Gender variables n Androgynous communication

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Individualistic Cultures n Self is separate, unique individual; should be independent, self-sufficient n Individual should take care of self and immediate family n Many flexible group memberships; friends based on shared interests and activities n Reward for individual achievement and initiative; individual decisions encouraged; individual credit and blame assigned n High value on autonomy, change, youth, individual security, equality

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Collectivist Culture n People belong to extended families or in-groups; “we” or group orientation n Person should take care of extended family before self n Emphasis on belonging to a very few permanent in-groups that have a strong influence over the person n Reward for contribution to group goals and well- being; cooperation with in-group members; group decisions valued; credit and blame shared. n High value on duty, order, tradition, age, group security, status, and hierarchy.

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Low Context Communication Styles n Majority of information carried in explicit verbal messages, with less focus on the situational context n Self-expression valued. Communicators state opinions and desires directly and strive to persuade others. n Clear, eloquent speech considered praiseworthy. Verbal fluency admired.

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company High Context Communication Style n Important information carried in contextual clues (time, place, relationship, situation). Less reliance on explicit verbal messages. n Relational harmony valued and maintained by indirect expression of opinions. Communicators refrain from saying “no” directly. n Communicators talk “around” the point, allowing others to fill in the missing pieces. Ambiguity and use of silence admired.

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Culture affects what we say and how we interpret others n Direct or indirect communication styles (low- context cultures vs high-context cultures) n Elaborate or succinct styles of communication n Formality vs informality style of communication n World View of a culture is shaped by its language (Eskimos, Hopi Indians, North Americans)

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company “The right to speak is meaningless if no one will listen... If we are unwilling to hear that with which we most violently disagree, we are no longer citizens but have become part of a mob.” Kurt Luedtke

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company College students spend what percent of communication time speaking, reading, writing, and listening? In what occupations is listening important? According to marital counselors, of what importance is listening to couples? Is listening and hearing the same thing?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company

What are the components of the listening process? n Attending n Understanding n Responding n remembering

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Do you participate in any of these faulty listening habits? n Pseudolistening n Selective listening n Defensive listening n Ambushing n Insulated listening n Insensitive listening n Stage hogging

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Why aren’t we more effective listeners?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Informational Listening n Goal = to understand; receive the same thoughts n What skills or approaches can help you become a more effective informational listener?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Critical Listening (Evaluative Listening) n Goal = to judge so you can accept or reject based on merit. n When should you use critical listening? n What guidelines would be helpful to incorporate when critical listening is necessary?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Empathic Listening n Goal = build a relationship; help the speaker solve a problem. n What are ways you can respond empathically to another person’s remarks?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company What is the ideal style of listening that we should use?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Nonverbal Communication defined: Oral and non-oral messages expressed by other than linguistic means.

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Types of Communication

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication n We’re aware of nonverbal communication & we attempt to interpret it daily. It exists! n Nonverbals add significant value to our communication n Nonverbal communication conveys information about our relationships n Nonverbal communication is ambiguous n Nonverbal communication is cultural bound

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Is nonverbal communication better at conveying ideas or attitudes and feelings?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Verbal and Nonverbal Communication Differ n Single vs. Muliple Channels n Discrete vs. Continuous n Conscious vs. Unconscious

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Functions of Nonverbal Communication n Repeating n Substituting n Complementing n Accenting n Regulating n Contradicting

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Types of Nonverbal Communication n Posture and gesture n Face and eyes n Voice n Touch n Physical attractiveness

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Types of Nonverbal Communication n Clothing

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Types of Nonverbal Communication n Clothing n Distance

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Types of Nonverbal Communication n Clothing n Distance n Time

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Types of Nonverbal Communication n Clothing n Distance n Time n Territoriality

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Types of Nonverbal Communication n Clothing n Distance n Time n Territoriality n Environment

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Spatial Distance ( Edward Hall) n Intimate0-18 inches n Personal18 inches to 4 feet n Social 4 to 12 feet n Public12 to 25 feet

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Nonverbal Communication: n Is more ambiguous n Is continuous n Is multichanneled n Gives more insight into emotional states n Meanings are culturally defined

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Characteristics of Interpersonal Relationships n Interpersonal relationships are unique, scarce in number, interdependent, and irreplaceable n Are all dydadic relationships interpersonal? n All messages have both content and relational meanings. Which are more n/v? n Do you metacommunicate?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Interpersonal Relationships need intimacy and distance n What are the four types of intimacy found in many interpersonal relationships? n Does gender and culture influence how intimacy is expressed? n Intimacy may create tension in toddlers, teens, and adults resulting in a cycle that creates some distance. What are the stages of this cycle?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Stages of Relational Development

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company What is one difference between marriages that end in divorce and those that repair their marriages?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company John Gottman’s 5:1 Rule

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Helical Model of Relational Cycles

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Self-Disclosure n Is information that is deliberately revealed, significant, and unknown by others. n Why might you self-disclose? n What are some characteristics of self- disclosure?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Social Penetration Model

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Sample Model of Social Penetration Model

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Johari Windows

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Johari Windows

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Guidelines for Appropriate Self-Disclosure n Is the other person important to you? n Is the risk of disclosing reasonable? n Are the amount and type of disclosure appropriate? n Is the disclosure relevant? n Is the disclosure reciprocated? n Will the effect be constructive? n Is the disclosure clear and understandable?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company If I shouldn’t disclosure my feelings because it’s “not appropriate,” what should I do?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Dimensions of Truthfulness and Equivocation

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Dimensions of Truthfulness and Equivocation

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Communication Climates n Emotional tone of a relationship (the way people feel about each other as they carry out their activities) u Confirming & disconfirming messages u How do communication climates develop? u How can we create a positive communication climate?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Managing Interpersonal Conflict n The nature of conflict : u Expressed struggle u Perceived incompatible goals u Perceived scarce rewards u Interdependence

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Defensive Behaviors n Evaluation n Control n Strategy n Neutrality n Superiority n Certainty

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Supportive Behaviors n Description n Problem Orientation n Spontaneity n Empathy n Equality n Provisionalism

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company What styles of conflict do you display? n Nonassertion n Direct aggression n Passive aggression “Crazymaking” n Indirect Communication n Assertion

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Individual Styles of Conflict

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Characteristics of an Assertive Message n Behavioral description n Your interpretation of the other person’s behavior n A description of your feelings n A description of the consequences n A statement of your intentions

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Conflict Styles n Do conflict styles differ according to gender? n Do cultures differ in their conflict styles?

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company Methods of Conflict Resolution n Win-Lose n Lose-Lose n Compromise n Win-Win u Identify problem & needs u Make a date u Describe problem & needs u Partner paraphrases u Check your understanding of partner’s needs u Negotiate a solution

Harcourt Brace & Company items and derived items copyright © 1997 by Harcourt Brace & Company What are two strategies you might use as a non-defensive response to diffuse a hostile situation? n Agree with parts of the argument that are true n Seek additional information