Warm-Up (In notes) Fix the speling errors in the following sentence. Write the error AND correction. Ex: speling  spelling I was definitly dissappointed when we lost. I adressed the team and said that were better then that and need to work harder to make sure it dosn’t happen agin.

Why is it important to avoid “you” in formal writing? Slipping into “you” is confusing because you are switching perspectives. You are suddenly addressing the reader personally (even if you’re not meaning to). Ex: “I can’t believe some people are pro-abortion. You are killing babies.” Ex: “If you don’t stop polluting, you’re going to kill the planet.”

HOW TO FIX IT: The fix depends on the situation. 1.Replace “you” with “the reader.” Do this when writing about things that the author shows. Incorrect: Lee shows you what a great father Atticus is. CORRECT: Lee shows the reader what a great father Atticus is. Incorrect: Dally’s words show you what a tough person he is. CORRECT: Dally’s words show the reader what a tough person he is.

HOW TO FIX IT: 2.Replace “you” with “one.” Do this when talking about people in general. Incorrect: Clearly, you must not judge people before knowing them. CORRECT: Clearly, one must not judge people before knowing them. Incorrect: Without education, you have little chance to succeed. CORRECT: Without education, one has little chance to succeed.

HOW TO FIX IT: 3.Cut out the “you” phrase altogether. Do this when you make the mistake of speaking directly to the reader. Incorrect: As you read this essay, you will see how baseball is like fishing. CORRECT: Baseball is like fishing. Incorrect: As you can see, the author uses both metaphors and personification to express her point. CORRECT: The author uses both metaphors and personification.

What about “I think?” Easy! Just take it out. Incorrect: “I think school should start later so that students are more rested and can focus better in school.” “I think…” CORRECT: “School should start later so that students…” **This makes you more credible to your audience. You are now stating this is as factual as opposed to just your opinion**

What about “In this essay?” This error occurs in the introduction when the writer is introducing the main points that will be discussed throughout the body of the essay. Incorrect: “In this essay, I will talk about how later start times for schools will result in more efficiency, higher academic success, and overall happiness of students and teachers.” *Remember* We never want to say “In this essay” or “I.” Both need fixed! CORRECT: “Later start times for schools will result in more efficiency, higher academic success, and overall happiness of students and teachers.” *These will then become the major points that you will focus on throughout the body of your essay*

PRACTICE Complete the Avoiding “You” worksheet. Ask questions if you need help!

PRACTICE “When you want to succeed as bad you want to breathe, then you will be successful” –Eric Thomas  VIDEO VIDEO Write two paragraphs on the following prompt. Avoid using “you” and “I.” What is success to you and how does one obtain it?

SENTENCE TYPES Review and Practice