10 He promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii

9 He runs a series of attack ads against President Selina Myer on Veep

8 His #1 choice for a position on his cabinet is “That Taylor Swift girl”

7 His outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island is nullified by the fact that no one really cares.

6 He got his degree in Political Economics by bribing Chris Christie with a chocolate donut.

5 When anybody mentions Washington, he asks, “The state or the DC thingie?”

4 At the debates he answers every question with a snarled, “You wanna wrestle?”

3 He vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu refugees once and for all.

2 He says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts, “I win!”

And the Number 1 Sign Your Presidential Candidate is Under-Qualified

1 On the very first questions of the debate, he attempts to use a LIFELINE.

Formal Qualifications Natural Born Citizen At least 35 years old Resident of the US for 14 years Take an oath of office Obama Oath of Office

Benefits $400, 000 per year salary General account ($50,000) Official expenses of the White House office Entertainment expenses Separate entertainment expenses for official presidential functions Traveling expenses for the president and anyone traveling with him White House Retirement

Constitutionality Article II State of the Union January 28, 2014 Recommend measures that are judged “necessary and expedient” Elastic Clause Commander in Chief