Lesson 12 - Communication Robert Wonser

Effective Communication The process of exchanging information using verbal and non-verbal messages in a way so that the intended message is received Productive communication enhances the emotional closeness and strengthens the relationship Non-productive communication increases the emotional distance

Content and Process of Communication The content of the communication is what the message is. Expectations Needs Wants The process is how it is conveyed

Process Verbal words Nonverbal the way in which people communicate, intentionally or unintentionally, without words facial expressions tone of voice non-verbal vocalizations gestures body position and movement touch gaze and eye contact personal space Actions Positive Negative

Charles Darwin Universal Emotions Anger Happiness Surprise Fear Disgust Sadness

Encode express or emit nonverbal behavior Decode interpret the meaning of the nonverbal behavior of others

Barriers to Communication Physical and environmental Situational Cultural Gender Psychological 7 7

To Improve Communication Motivation and concern Self-disclosure Clarity Listen/ask for and provide feedback Avoid distractions 8

BED REST AWAKE TIRED COMFORT SOUND SLUMBER SNORE DREAM AWAKE NIGHT EAT

Write down all the words you can remember

What does power mean to you? 11

Power ability to meet one’s needs ability to influence a partner to get what one wants power differentials in intimate relationships=problems 12

Power Everything, including relationships and communication can be boiled down to power. principle of least interest simply states that the partner who is least interested has the most power. Why might this be so?

Who typically has the power? those who have the least interest in the relationship those who gain the least from the relationship those who have invested the least those who have the most resources women with more education 14 14

What theory could we use for studying the distribution of power in a family? 15

Arguments non-directional arguments, because the underlying issue is not being dealt with in the argument itself Directional arguments have a goal or a purpose and usually approach the issue that led to the argument in the first place.

Getting to the Core of the Problem: The Roots

How to Have a Healthy Argument: The Win-Win Model

Marital Entropy Marital Entropy is the principle that if a marriage does not receive preventive maintenance and upgrades it will move towards decay and break down. What then can be done to prevent it?

Inhibitions to Open Communication and Trust

Non-Verbal Communication What role does non-verbal communication Non-verbal communication includes touch, gestures, facial expression, eye contact, distance, and overall body positioning What does out non-verbal communication say about us? Gender and communication?

Types of Nonverbal Communication Paralanguage All the vocal aspects of speech other than words. Body language The silent movement of body parts.

Types of Nonverbal Communication Interpersonal spacing cues Positioning ourselves at varying distances and angles from others. Personal effects What a person wears that communicates information about that person. In addition to the approximate 250,000 different facial expressions that humans can make, nonverbal communication uses many other bodily and gestural cues.

President Bush’s 2005 Inauguration President Bush did not know that: In Mediterranean cultures, this gesture implies that a man has an unfaithful wife. In parts of Africa it is used to impose a curse on another person. Can you think of a time when you unintentionally communicated something?

Are Men from Mars and Women from Venus?