 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative 1 Responsible Fatherhood: What’s Mom Got To Do With It? ________________________________________________ Improving the well-being of children by increasing the proportion of children with involved, responsible, and committed fathers in their lives.

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Why are moms so critical to responsible fatherhood programs? What we heard from the field Barriers dads face with moms Maternal gatekeeping Awareness issues (internal and external) Communication issues NFI resources for moms Overview

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Father joins a fatherhood group Why Are Moms So Critical?

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Father understands his irreplaceable role Why Are Moms So Critical?

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Father builds fathering skills Why Are Moms So Critical?

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Father tries to reconnect with his child Why Are Moms So Critical?

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Father runs into barriers with mom Why Are Moms So Critical?

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Maternal Gatekeeping (Definition) Refers to a mother’s protective beliefs about the desirability of a father’s involvement in their child’s life, and the behaviors acted upon that either facilitate or hinder collaborative childrearing between the parents. Barriers Dads Face With Moms

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Maternal Gatekeeping (Behavioral Aspects) How the mother speaks about the father in the presence of their child and others To what extent the father is included or updated on the child’s health, schooling or social life The extent to which the mother communicates to the father that she knows what is best for their child and the correct way to do things—while he does not. Barriers Dads Face With Moms

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Maternal Gatekeeping (Reasons) Difficulty relinquishing familial responsibility Validation of her identity as the “mother” Age of the child View the father as incompetent or even dangerous to the child Based on actual evidence; or On personal perceptions of him and his failures in the male familial role Barriers Dads Face With Moms

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Maternal Gatekeeping (Affects) The ability of the child to adjust to parental divorce or separation is weakened Can damage the father-child relationship Can damage the parents’ ability to cooperate and keep their conflict levels low and out of the child’s earshot or awareness Threat to the overall well-being and adjustment of the child Barriers Dads Face With Moms

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Awareness Issues What impact does her upbringing have on her relationship with the father(s) of her children and men in general? Does she understand the importance of the father’s involvement in the lives of their children? Barriers Dads Face With Moms

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Communication Issues Poor patterns of communication Timing of communication Lack of communication tools Poor listening skills Barriers Dads Face With Moms

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Group-based program 8, 1-2 hour sessions Helps moms focus on the goal of accomplishing communication and awareness objectives that are vital to improving the relationships between them and the father(s) of their children Understanding Dad™

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Increase mothers’ knowledge, positive attitudes, and skills associated with improving their relationships with the fathers of their children Increase mothers’ awareness of the impact that their upbringing (e.g. their relationships with their own fathers) has had on their relationships with the fathers of their children and men in general Increase mothers’ understanding of the importance of fathers’ involvement in the lives of their children Increase positive interactions between mothers and the fathers of their children Understanding Dad™

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative 3-session workshop Increase mothers’ awareness of what gatekeeping is, how it operates, and how it is sometimes misused out of anger and hurt Offer concrete examples that will facilitate mothers’ understanding of the negative impact of excessive gatekeeping and the importance of supporting father involvement Engage mothers in exercises that will facilitate the reduction of restrictive maternal gatekeeping behaviors that inhibit father engagement. Mom As Gateway™

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative Pocketbook for Moms Co-Parenting Communication New moms For Baby’s Health tip cards Tip Cards & Brochures For Moms

 2011 National Fatherhood Initiative 18 Responsible Fatherhood: What’s Mom Got To Do With It? ________________________________________________ Erik Vecere Vice President, Program Support