LESSON 3 The Mind-Heart Connection Our Culture Teaches Some Children That Feelings Are OK and They Are Not Expected to Be Rational and Logical. Our Culture Teaches Some Children That They Are Expected to Be Rational and Logical and Feelings Are Not OK. Under Construction

Indoctrination of Children Into Rational and Feeling Stereotypes You shouldn’t cry Feelings are sissy You shouldn’t feel that way You have to be tough There, there, its OK. Its OK to cry You are so affectionate. That’s great! You don’t need to worry your little head about that You don’t know what you're talking about

Examining the Popular Notions of Mind and Heart or Reason and Emotion How do people use these concepts of reason and emotion and what do they attempt to accomplish by doing so? What characteristics are typically grouped together under these two concepts? Are these labels typically gender specific in their application? Do these labels become a part of person’s identity or self concept, which they then have to defend? Are people locked in to the respective attributes by the contemporary tendency to ascribe them to innate brain characteristics as in the notion of being right or left brained? What happens if identities and self concepts are freed from rigid stereotyping of self and others so that any person or either gender can be perceived as having, or potentially changing to include, these polarized concepts and their characteristics?

If genders are stereotyped with these dichotomies, does this inevitably enforce rigid conformity and inability to resolve differences? Does this cultural trend inevitably polarize people? Does this cultural trend make it impossible for people to expand and include both characteristics? MEN Rational Mind WOMEN Feeling Heart CONSEQUENCES of STEREOTYPING SELF, OTHERS, or GENDERS into the MIND-HEART or RATIONAL-FEELING DICHOTOMIES

Feeling Heart Rational Mind MEN Rational Mind WOMEN Feeling Heart WHEN THE MIND AND HEART ARE CONNECTED VS WHEN THEY ARE DISCONNECTED WHEN MIND AND HEART ARE DISCONNECTED –Rational and feeling oriented people are different They each often believe that their way of being is much better than the other way They each have a difficult time understanding the other Neither wants to admit that the other orientation has some merit but, if they do, they want to leave that function up to someone else. Both feel they can not change but the other can –Rational and feeling orientations both have flaws ‘Rational’ has difficulty with coordinating and cooperating with people ‘Feeling’ has difficulty with abstractions, technicalities, and practical consequences –‘Rational’ and ‘feeling’ react to conflicts in their own lives differently ‘Rational’ suppresses and suppression creates tension and stress, prevents empathic understanding of people, and seems narrow and arbitrary ‘Feeling’ becomes engulfed and has extreme reactions, can’t think, feels confused and confusing

Rational Mind & Feeling Heart What Would Happen If These Polarized Concepts Were Seen As Being Capable of Naturally Belonging to Anyone, Regardless of Gender or Occupation? WHEN MIND AND HEART ARE CONNECTED –The Feeling person can reason about emotional conflicts and communicate clearly to the ‘rational’ person. –The Feeling person can relate to concerns about abstract ideas, practical consequences, and technicalities. –The Rational person can empathize, cooperate and coordinate with others, even feeling oriented people. –The Rational person can communicate their values, preferences, and feelings, sees shades of gray, and make it possible to be understood by the ‘feeling’ person