February: Patience The Hebrew word for Patience is Savlanut Patience is maintaining our connection to another even when we are feeling frustrated by the other person. When we are experiencing Savlanut, we tolerate our own discomfort and continue to show love to the person who is “pushing our buttons.” What does Jewish tradition say about Patience? According to Jewish mysticism, God provides a constant flow of life energy to everything in the world. Rabbi Moses Cordevero ( ) notes that God could cut off this flow of life energy at any moment but chooses not to even when insulted by God’s creations. This is our challenge: to stay connected and keep goodness flowing even to those who defy our will.

Mindfulness Guide Savlanut requires living with mindfulness. When we are mindful, we can notice the feelings that arise in us without reacting. In order to be truly patient, we must first identify when we are feeling irritated and just notice this feeling. Then, we can make the conscious decision to treat the person with whom we are feeling irritated with kindness and compassion. Try this: The next time you notice yourself feeling frustrated or irritated by another person, press an internal “pause button.” Notice how you are feeling and remind yourself that you can show Patience by being kind and loving toward this person despite what you are feeling. Show kindness. Then, notice how it feels to base your behavior toward that person on the soul trait of Savlanut rather than on your reaction to your own emotions.

Ideas for Growth When we practice Savlanut, we show compassion for other people’s emotional baggage. We also need to show compassion and patience for our own baggage. This means being kind to ourselves when we are struggling as well as knowing when to ask for help from others. The one time Moses truly despairs of the people, he asks for help from God, saying that the burden is too heavy for him to bear (Numbers, chapter 11). God asks Moses to choose 70 elders who become assistant prophets and share the load of leadership. This is another key teaching about Savlanut. When we feel at the end of our ability to bear something, it may be time for us to request help from others.

Questions for Family Discussion: Think of a time in your daily routine when your patience is tried (perhaps getting the family out the door in the morning?) Do you practice Savlanut at this time? How would things be different if you did? What are the types of situations or interactions that are hardest for you to maintain Savlanut? Are there particular kids at school or coworkers at work who “push your buttons”? How might you show more Patience to these individuals? In what ways could you have more Patience with yourself? How might you ask others for help? How might you ask God for help? Portions of this month’s packet are taken from The Tikkun Middot Project Curriculum, Draft, October 2013