Single Life “Married & Single Life”

The Status of Singles Very few of us go without being single at some point or another Some are single for a short time, a long time, or all of their life A person without a partner may be never- married, separated, divorced, or widowed

Why Single? Some people choose single hood, others are single for a variety of reasons. –Exciting –Sense of freedom –Lack of responsibility –Career opportunities –New conditions for women –Delayed Marriage –Divorce –Emotional pain –Finding a partner –Family ties –Widows and Widowers –Elderly

Patterns for Single Living The most obvious single living pattern is living alone. Many singles do live with others for economic, social, and emotional needs. Living situations for singles include: –Living alone –Living with family –Sharing with roommates –Cohabitating

Cohabitating: A New Trend? Cohabitating- Two individuals decide to live together as a couple without commitment to a marriage contract. Reasons include: –Some couples also believe it will be easier to end the relationship with a live-in partner than with a marriage partner. –This is NOT the case! A large percentage of those choosing to live together end up separating. Most say that it is just as painful and difficult as going through a divorce. No marriage= No legal contract to protect partners once the relationship ends.

Cohabitating: A New Trend? (Cont’d) Couples who live together and later choose to marry have a higher divorce rate than married couples who do not live together before marriage. –Lower level of commitment –Many are pressured by families who do not approve of living together before marriage into getting married. –Unplanned pregnancy Despite the statistics, it is becoming more accepted and more common to live together before marriage

Inaccurate Labels The image of singlehood has changed greatly in the past few years. Stereotypes of singles include: –“Risky or promiscuous” lifestyle –Homosexual –Lonely –Self-centered Some singles are happy and fulfilled with single life. Who are we to judge?

Managing Single Life Life as a single can be challenging. This depends on whether or not someone is single by choice or by circumstance. Singlehood concerns include: –Financial planning –Housing –Safety –Healthy diet –Developing relationships –The desire for children

Singlehood Concerns Financial Planning –Married people should ask, “Am I prepared financially for single life in the case that my situation changes?” –Single people should ask, “Can I share and adjust my finances if my situation should change?” –Lesson learned…Be RESPONSIBLE with your finances, no matter your situation. Housing –Very expensive and difficult to cover with one income –Managing a home alone can be very difficult

Singlehood Concerns (Cont’d) Safety –Living alone can be scary sometimes –A secured building can bring peace of mind to singles Apartment buildings with locked exterior doors and intercoms –Follow safety tips such as not walking alone, carry I.D., park in well-lighted areas, etc. Healthy Diet –Many singles lead a busy life and eat on-the-go –Cooking small quantities may feel like a waste of time –Cook ahead and freeze or store leftovers, invite friends over to eat, etc.

Singlehood Concerns (Cont’d) Developing Relationships –When single, you have a CHOICE to be lonely or to view your singlehood as rewarding and challenging –Loneliness and being alone are NOT the same thing! –Meet new people and form relationships, even if they aren’t “intimate.” –Join a club, fitness facility, or some other social networking opportunity Desire for Children –Foster, adopt, volunteer

Special Single Situations Managing as a single in the family home –Singles who never move out of their family or origin’s home, or who move out and return. New rules are needed! This person is no longer a child! Managing shared living –Set rules, responsibilities, establish how costs will be covered, respect each other and each other’s belongings and space. –Choose roommates carefully! Managing as a single parent –Very difficult. –A “juggling” act. Balance is KEY –Seek support of family, friends, or even a support group

Developing Contentment Be happy with where you are in life and who you are! The “grass is NOT always greener on the other side.” Find a situation that you truly enjoy. Remember, you only get to go around this track one time! Make the most of it!