A Father’s Perspective Tony Thomas Project leader for RISE Leadership

Teen pregnancies: reducing negative and unwanted consequences How can young fathers be made to feel part of and responsible for their family? How can support providers best reach and engage young fathers to take up the services on offer to them?

Which value system? This? Respect Responsibility Positive Reinforcement Self – Sufficiency Love and Protection of Children & family Cooperation Accountability Justice Fair Play Trust Value on Learning Skills Long term goals Encouragement of creativity Spirituality Or This? Individualism Greed Untruthfulness Manipulation Distrust Hostility Selfishness Live for the moment

The problems we face regarding absent fathers, largely centre on: The circumstances that led to these men being fathers The circumstances of the break up of the family The break up itself The mother’s attitude and behaviour regarding the whole situation

Education Educate young people from school age on the benefits of a successful relationship, the emotional aspect and what to look for in a partner – the order of importance being that they understand who they are and what type of partner they should seek, raising children, and the pitfalls of relationship breakdowns and those where there are children, as well as the emotional genetics/needs of both male and female and how one compliments the other. (This could be an expansion of sex education and should include role play)

Services & Service Providers Services for teenage mothers should include counselling on how they came to be mothers, what they should expect from the father under the circumstances and because they are individuals, how to get the best out of the fathers of their child (understanding men), and the impact or impression upon their children of these issues and their behaviour towards them. Services for teenage fathers should appeal to the nurturing skills and benefits that fathers have and how to mange them effectively and should include the same counselling content as for teenage mothers but with the focus being on understanding women and the importance of keeping links with their children. Supported housing commissioners and providers could make special dispensation for young fathers possibly through a service for teenage fathers affording them the stability or security young men often need in order to take up their responsibility. Promotion on fatherhood and its wonderful long term benefits, including contributions from Step fathers as well as young people, fathers with regrets and mothers who appreciate fatherhood.