Mentor Texts from Treasures Creating a Setting Using Descriptive Details

Describing a crowded store… The store was crowded with old people holding tightly to their shopping carts, little kids hollering to their parents for candy, and lots of people staring at shopping lists and blocking the aisles. I ducked around all the carts and went to the back where the vegetables are. (Treasures gr4, p. 88)

Store was crowded old people holding tightly to their shopping carts little kids hollering to their parents for candy lots of people staring at shopping lists and blocking the aisles Supporting details…

Describing a room… I pushed the doorway curtain aside and walked into what would have been a living room in anyone else’s house. Books were scattered everywhere – on the tables, on the chairs, even on the floor. Three of the walls were cluttered with sketches and stuffed fish and charts of the river. Several fishing poles hung from the fourth with a tackle box, a snorkel, and a mask on the floor beneath them. (Treasures, gr4 p. 116)

…what would have been a living room in anyone else’s house. Books were scattered everywhere – on the tables, on the chairs, even on the floor. Three of the walls were cluttered with sketches and stuffed fish and charts of the river. Several fishing poles hung from the fourth with a tackle box, a snorkel, and a mask on the floor beneath them. Supporting details…

A long, hard trip… Our trip was long and hard. At night the desert was so cold we had to huddle together to keep warm. We drove right along the border, across from New Mexico and Arizona. Mexico and the U.S. are two different countries, but they look exactly the same on both sides of the border, with giant saguaros (cacti) pointing up at the pink-orange sky and enormous clouds. (Treasures, gr4, p.190)

Our trip was long and hard. At night the desert was so cold we had to huddle together to keep warm. We drove right along the border across from New Mexico and Arizona. Supporting details…

“A good train-watching day…” The day before I left home was a regular North Carolina summer day. “A good train-watching day,” my friend B.J. said. We waited quietly in the grass beside the tracks. B.J. heard it first. “It’s a’coming,” he said. Then I heard it too – a low rumbling, building to a roar. WHOOO-OOO! “The Piedmont!” we shouted as the train blasted past. “I’m the greatest train-watcher ever,” B.J. boasted. (Treasures, p. 610).

“A good train-watching day,” We waited quietly in the grass beside the tracks. B.J. heard it first. “It’s a’coming,” he said. Then I heard it too – a low rumbling, building to a roar. WHOOO- OOO! “The Piedmont!” we shouted as the train blasted past. Supporting details…

Create a setting Our turn

Let’s visualize… Convenience store Shopping mall Sports field with a game in progress Swimming pool Car trip to a new place

Crowded mall at holiday time The mall was crowded with holiday shoppers clutching their brightly colored sacs, excited children begging to go see Santa, and many people lined up outside the movie theater waiting to see the Polar Express.

The mall was crowded with holiday shoppers clutching their brightly colored sacs, excited children begging to go see Santa, and many people lined up outside the movie theater waiting to see Polar Express. Supporting details…

Your turn With a partner, choose a setting and write a descriptive paragraph

On your own… Revise a personal narrative in your folder to include a descriptive setting

Reflection… How did examining writer’s craft in these stories help you in your writing? How does adding descriptive details help your reader visualize your setting? Why is the setting so important in narrative writing?

References Adapted from the work of: Lynne R. Rose Cappelli in Mentor Texts Lucy Calkins’ Units of Study for Primary Writing By Jennifer Bernhard Clark County Schools