Somali Families’ Parenting Experiences in the U.S.A. Bonnie H. Bowie, PhD, MBA, RN Danuta Wojnar, PhD, MED, RN, IBCLC

Seattle, Washington, USA Seattle University College of Nursing

To explore the experience of parenting from the perspective of families who self identify as first generation immigrants from Somalia Specific Aim: To explore the parenting experiences of Somali mothers and fathers

 Between 80, ,000 Somali immigrants settled in the USA in the past decade  WA State is the second largest settlement in the country (Minneapolis area is the largest)  Immigrating and settling in a new country is a stressful process for any person but especially for refugees

 Part of a larger multidisciplinary community based research team of faculty partnering with Head Start  Themes/needs from initial assessment: ◦ A smoother transition from Head Start to grade school for preschool children ◦ Professional education for the Head Start teachers, particularly in the area of teaching behaviorally challenged children ◦ A deeper understanding of and interconnectedness with and among the families in Head Start and Early Head Start

 Family Models ◦ Somali versus Western  Somali families’ transition to parenting in the USA ◦ Expectations, family dynamics, stresses  Little published research (in U.S.)  Significance ◦ Life experiences matter: different health beliefs, cultural, religious, and socio-economic factors do affect the parenting experiences and outcomes ◦ Understanding different perspectives promotes dialog, equity, and access to services without stigmatization

 Design ◦ Phenomenological investigation  IRB approval was obtained from the study site IRB  Inclusion Criteria ◦ Self identified as first generation Somali immigrants ◦ Had a child/children in Early Head Start Program or on waiting list ◦ At least one parent agreed to participate  Setting ◦ Greater Seattle Area  Analysis: Colaizzi’s method (1978)

MothersFathers Sample146 (+1) Years together M = 8.7 +/- 4.8 M = 6.7 +/- 4.2 AgeM = /- 4.2 M = Employed3? Years Education 0 – High School 0 - College Income ($1,000) 0 – 4,999M = 20 Somali147 Sample

On Somali Perspective: 1. Preserving the culture and religion 2. Valuing the traditional ways of parenting 3. Drawing strength from community wisdom On American Perspective: 1. Living in fear and experiencing conflict with the system 2. Striving to understand and embrace the new world 3. Yearning to be understood and supported 4. Acknowledging benefits Parenting in the US – A Balancing Act

“ A lot of Somalis, when they come here will try to conserve our culture and do everything the old way including parenting. And then there are people who come to U.S. and try to act American, Western, they like to drink and everything - you know; mainly men are like that. There are also people who just try to stay in their corner and pretend nothing has changed. And there are also people that are in between. I think the hardest thing is when you feel you are stuck and unable to reconcile the differences. ” The Somali Perspective

“In our culture, without a kid, you are not complete and your home is not complete. We don’t get married to live together, we get married to have kids, as many as God gives us. They are gifts from God and we treat them as such”

“ Back home, everybody is a parent: to their own and your neighbor's child as well. Everybody helps to raise and correct the child.” “Support from others in the community to parent is priceless. This is what I miss most.”

“Preserving old culture and traditions is difficult in the U.S.. There are so many temptations and bad influences. To be a good parent here you need to have resources, quality time, access to things, language skills. I have none. To gain one item others will suffer. Back home to provide resources was sufficient. I think many Somalis became stricter Muslims here than they used to be to be better role models to t heir children... I am so afraid to lose my children to drugs or gangsterism that I take them to Africa when the school is out. First, I want them to know that there is another world out there and that they need to be proud of it and respect it.”

“The best part about having children is America is that they can go to school, we have a safe housing and there are resources in the community. There is healthcare for children. I didn’t have it in the refugee camp. I lost two children to malaria. I am satisfied with the programs I got here, but I also have many fears. You may not lose your child to the war or malaria but you can easily lose them to drugs, gangs, or they can drop out of school. Is it different to lose a kid to drugs or alcohol? I would say no. To me it is a loss no different than if they were to die because you live in anguish watching them go down and you have no control over them.”

“ I find the system is often misused and turns on us. Children mean a lot to us. We try to raise them as well as we possibly can. But the system is giving the children power and taking it away from us. They often misuse the power because they don’t understand the consequences and families are ruined. They turn on us. Sometimes they tell a story to get back at us when we restrict computer or want to enforce rules at home. They don’t understand that they hurt us and themselves. The biggest fear in my community I would say is, next to the fear of losing your kid to a gang or drugs or dropping out of school, is CPS and losing your child to the government and being falsely accused and to not know how to defend yourself.”

From the refugee youth perspective:  What are the opportunities and barriers to successfully assimilating into a new country?  What would have made your transition easier?  What lessons can we learn from the children of refugees? Next Steps

 Do the findings of the U.S. Somali perspective on parenting coincide with your experiences with the Swedish Somali community?  What do you think would be helpful to know about refugee youth in Sweden as they transition successfully to their new country?