Final Exam – Study Guide

Interpersonal Communication 2 The (transactional) process through which people create and manage their relationships, exercising mutual responsibility in creating meaning.

Functions of Interpersonal Communication 1. Meet our social needs 2. Maintain our sense of self 3. Fulfill social obligations 4. Exchange information 5. Influence others 6. Get and improve our jobs 3

4 Sending Channel Feedback Channel Noise 2-Encoder 3-Meaning Encoder Decoder Meaning Decoder Sender Receiver Context V/ V, p 9. Context

Context – the setting Physical – where communication takes place, the environment, the distance between participants, seating, time of day Social – the nature of the relationship Historical – the background of previous communication Psychological – the moods and feelings Cultural – the set of beliefs, values, and norms that are shared by a large group of people 5

Principles of Interpersonal Communication (pps., 9-12) Is purposeful Is continuous Is Transactional (Messages vary in conscious encoding) Is relational ◦Symmetrical or Complementary Is Irreversible Has ethical implications Is learned 6

Perception The process of selectively attending to sensory information and assigning meaning to it. (pg. 30) Our perception becomes our reality. 7

8 Three psychological factors that influence attending/selection: 1. Our needs 2. Our interests 3. Our expectations

9 Prejudice – Prejudice – a preconceived judgment, belief or opinion that a person holds without sufficient grounds ( + or - ) Discrimination – Discrimination – treating members of one group differently from members of another in a way that is unfair or harmful Racism, Sexism, Ageism, Able-ism – Racism, Sexism, Ageism, Able-ism – belief that the behaviors or characteristics of one group are inherently superior to those of another

10 Johari Window – Jo Luft & Harry Ingham OpenBlind SecretUnknown Known to self Not known to self Known to others Not known to others W, p. 271; V / V, p. 76

Dialectic “Any systematic reasoning process that juxtaposes opposed or contradictory ideas, seeking to resolve their conflict” ◦Yin-Yang Relational Dialectics Contradictory pulls in relationships.

12 Relational Dialectics (3) Autonomy/Connection I need my own space. I want to be close. Novelty/Predictability We need to do I like the familiar something new. rhythms we have. Openness/Closedness I like sharing so There are some much with you. things I don’t want to talk about.

Managing Dialectical Tensions Temporal Selection – selecting one side of a dialectical contradiction for a period of time, ie. for a time suspend a side for the other. Topical segmentation – separating situations as a way of managing dialectical tension, ie. treat topics differently. Neutralization – compromising to partially satisfy needs, ie. find a middle of the road. Reframing – putting less emphasis on the dialectical tension, ie. change your view on the differences.

Relationship Theories IP Needs Theory - Psych. Wm. Schutz ◦Whether or not a relationship is started, built, or maintained depends on meeting each other’s IP Needs. ◦3 basic IP Needs:  Affection  Inclusion  Control Underpersonal – Overpersonal - Personal Undersocial – Oversocial - Social Abdicrats – Autocrats - democrat

Relationship Theories – con’t. Exchange Theory - Psych. Thibaut & Kelley ◦Relationships can be understood in terms of the exchange of rewards & costs that take place during the IP relationship.  Rewards  Costs Outcomes that are valued by a person Outcomes that a person does not wish to occur Comparison Level of Alternatives

16 Managing Dialectical Tensions Temporal selection – Temporal selection – selecting one side to support Topical segmentation– Topical segmentation – separating Neutralization – Neutralization – compromising Reframing – Reframing – taking a fresh approach – change your perceptions.

Language Communities (Speech Communities) Words are symbols that have understood meaning to the people in a language community.

Words are Symbols Arbitrary Ambiguous Abstract

DenotativeConnotative The dictionary definition The emotions linked to a word

Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis Symbolic Interactionism Coordinated Management of Meaning Three Language Theories

Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis The structure of a culture’s language determines how people think in that culture. ◦Language defines the way a person behaves and thinks – You are restricted by your vocabulary. ◦Language is not simply a way of voicing ideas, but is the very thing which shapes our reality.

Language and Meaning pg 87 Symbolic Interactionism is a theory that claims the meaning of words is a product of social interaction.  Whatever meaning a person has for a thing is a result of interactions with others about the thing, ie. the value of gold, diamonds or flowers.  People act toward things based on the meaning those things have for them, ie. flag burning.

Language and Meaning, con’t pg 87 Coordinated management of meaning is a theory that demonstrates how people come to any agreement on the meaning of language and behavior.  This says that one individual may subtly propose enacting a certain type of communication, but only when the other person accepts that proposal that the exchange and the rules been agreed upon that the meaning becomes coordinated -, i.e. “flirting.”

Understanding Cultural Dialectics that help us understand differences in connotation Individual Collective Low-contextHigh-context MasculineFeminine Low power- distance High power- distance. Low uncertainty avoidance High uncertainty avoidance

IndividualCollective Low-contextHigh-context Low uncertainty avoidance High uncertainty avoidance Individual goals are emphasized more than group goals Group goals are emphasized more than individual goals Accept uncertainty and are tolerant of differing behavior Provide security and reduce risk - have little tolerance for deviant behavior Messages are very direct Messages are indirect – expect others to know how they’re feeling.

MasculineFeminine Low power- distance High power- distance Cultures that expect people to maintain rigid sex roles Cultures that allow both men and women to take different roles Cultures in which inequalities are played down Cultures in which people show respect for authority emphasizing titles, rank, and status.

Individual Low-context (Direct – say what we mean) Masculine (rigid sex defined) Low power- distance (downplay social distances) Low uncertainty Avoidance (Tolerant) United States

Gender Differences in Language Differences between men’s speech and women’s speech are gender based. Women tend to use more intensifiers and hedges than men. Women ask questions more frequently than men.

Language Skills 1. Be specific in word choice 2. Use concrete words 3. Date generalizations 4. Qualify (index) generalizations & avoid Marking

Strategic Ambiguity When a speaker chooses to use vague language when interacting with another person. Example, teenagers frequently choose to be more clear, specific, and definite when revealing information to peers than to parents. This serves to preserve family harmony and advances the teen’s natural drive toward independence. (Sillars, 1998)

Women tend to engage in “rapport talk” to share experiences and establish bonds. 31 Microsoft Photo

32 Men tend to engage in “report talk” to share information, negotiate, and preserve independence. Microsoft Photo

The words we use Actions, vocal qualities, and activities that typically accompany a verbal message 33 Verbal Communication Nonverbal Communication

93% of emotional meaning of messages is nonverbal. Mehrabian (1972)

Affective Ambiguous Continuous Multi-channeled 36

Substitute Complement Contradict 37 Verbal Communication

When nonverbal and verbal contradict, we tend to accept the nonverbal inference. 38

MEN Talk more about music, current events, sports, business and other men. Report Talk: Talk to accomplish the job at hand rather than nurture the relationship Less likely to disclose vulnerability- sign of weakness More prone to dominate conversation- leads to power Talk competitive and men interrupt more often than women Assert control Men swear more Women Talk more about personal and domestic subjects, relationship problems, family, health, food, weight, clothing, men & women More likely to gossip Rapport Talk: Talk is the essence of relationships empathy/nurture Ask more questions to invite the other person to share info Maintain harmony Use powerless speech more often (history, career, upbringing)

1. Emblems 2. Illustrators 3. Regulators 4. Affect display 5. Adaptors 40

Intensify – exaggerate our facial expressions to fit the situation, i.e. smiling at a wedding. Deintensify – when we want to control or subdue an expression, when you found out you got into law school and your friend did not. Neutralize – avoid showing any facial expressions to appear neutral, i.e. judges at a gymnastic event. Masking – when you want to conceal our real emotion, i.e. when your significant other buys something and you want to conceal your anger by looking excited. 41 Controls :

1. Facial expression and eye contact 2. Kinesics (body motion) 3. Proxemics and personal space 4. Artifacts 5. Touch (haptics) 6. Paralanguage 7. Chronemics (time) 8. Physical characteristics 42 E verything except the words! E verything except the words!

Pitch Volume Rate Quality 43 Vocal communication minus the words

Time Using time to communicate - “Time talks” Last minute invitations Habitual tardiness Allocation of certain activities to appropriate times Structure time differently Perception is different culturally

Intimate distance, up to 18”, is appropriate for private conversations between close friends. Personal distance, from 18”- 4’, is the space in which casual conversation occurs. Social distance, from 4’ – 12’, is where impersonal business such as job interviews is conducted. Public distance is anything more than 12’ 45

46 Conversations A locally managed sequential interchange of thoughts and feelings between two or more people. Interactive and extemporaneous. A locally managed sequential interchange of thoughts and feelings between two or more people. Interactive and extemporaneous. Microsoft Photo

47  Spontaneous interactions between people, with no planned agenda  Conversational episodes in which at least one participant has a communication goal Casual Casual Social Social Conversations Conversations Pragmatic Problem- Consideration Conversations

48 Skipping a stage may provide less satisfaction 1.Greeting and small talk 2.Topic introduction and statement of need for discussion 3.Information exchange and processing 4.Summarizing decisions and clarifying next steps 5.Formal closing

Characteristics of Conversations 1. Formality – degree to which the conversation must follow rules, procedures or rituals. 2. Turn-Taking – alternating between speaker & listener. a.Speaker can decide who’s next b.Nonverbally signaling our desire to go next c.We can self-select to go next by talking next d.We can interrupt 3. Topic Change – method by which people introduce new topics 4. Talk Time – fair sharing of speaking time 5. Scriptedness – common conversations that happen so often they are routine, as if to follow a script (co-narration). 6. Conversational Audience – who’s conversing & eavesdropping.

50 Conversation Maxims Quality Truthful information Quantity Not too much or too little Relevancy Related to the topic Manner Specific, organized, and understandable Morality Meet moral/ethical guidelines PolitenessBecourteous

51 The Effective Conversationalist 1. Presents quality information. 2. Provides free information to enable others to talk. 3. Ask questions that are likely to motivate responses. 4. Credits sources. 5. Practices turn-taking. 6. Maintains conversational coherence. 7. Practices politeness.

52 Listening Listening makes up 42-60% of our communication. Writing Speaking Reading

Hearing A physiological activity that occurs when sound waves hit our eardrums 53

Listening vs. Hearing Hearing- physical process; natural; passive Listening- physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill Listening is hard! You must choose to participate in the process of listening.

Listening involves: Attending Understanding Remembering Evaluating Responding A – U – R – E – R 55

Mnemonics 56 A technique used to aid memory – take the first letter of a list you are trying to remember and create a word HOMES (the five Great Lakes) Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior A – U – R – E – R

57 Empathy is the process of identifying with the feelings of others.

Approaches to Empathy Empathic Responsiveness – taking on an emotional parallel response of another, feeling “same” the emotion – sharing the emotion Perspective Taking – imagining yourself in place of another Sympathetic Responsiveness – feeling of concern, compassion or sorrow for another’s situation – “emotional concern” or sympathy – feeling a somewhat different, yet similar emotion 58

Paraphrasing (perception check) Put your understanding of a message into words to clarify meaning.  Content – conveys understanding of the denotative meaning  Feeling – conveys your understanding of the speaker’s connotative meaning 59

Effective Support Messages Steps (research by Brant Burleson, Purdue University) Show your intention to help. Provide acceptance and positive regard. Express situation interest. Show empathy and understanding. Make yourself available. Be an ally. 60

Feedback Verbal and physical responses to people and/or their messagesSelf-disclosure Sharing biographical data, personal ideas and feelings that are unknown to the other person ◦Opening up the “Secret” Johari Window to another. 61

Appropriate Self-disclosure Order Chronologically: Move self-disclosure to deeper levels gradually. Continue intimate self-disclosure only if it is reciprocated. Self-disclose the kind of information you want others to disclose to you Reserve intimate or very personal self- disclosure for ongoing relationships Self-disclose more intimate information only when you believe the disclosure represents an acceptable risk 62

63 Reciprocal self-disclosure has the greatest positive effects.

Giving Constructive Criticism Describe the behavior by accurately recounting precisely what was said or done, without labeling the behavior good or bad, right or wrong. Preface a negative statement with a positive one whenever possible. Be as specific as possible. When appropriate, suggest how the person can change the behavior. 64

How to Get Good Feedback Specify the kind of criticism you are seeking. Don’t act negatively to the criticism. Paraphrase what you hear. Give reinforcement to those who take your requests for criticism as honest requests. Thank them! 65