Housekeeping Agenda Format Logistics Thoughts?

Our FES Goal This Year

Has This Happened To You?

What are your thoughts on Sustainability? on Sustainability?

Let’s Introduce Love & Logic!

Raise responsible children Raise ethical, caring children Raise children who are prepared to make positive contributions Results Why Love & Logic?

Misbehavior Cycle Anger and frustration feed misbehavior 1.The misbehavior occurs 2.The adult shows anger or frustration 3.The child perceives authority figure 4.Negative self-concept ensues 5.Misbehavior occurs again

Ending the Misbehavior Cycle Our response to a child’s misbehavior provides a learning opportunity “The most powerful people in my life can’t make be behave.” “The most powerful people in my life have to sweat to make me behave.” “It’s entertaining to make adults mad!” Or… “I learned a lesson.”

Two Rules of Love & Logic 1.Adults set firm limits in loving ways without anger, lecture, or threats. 2.When a child causes a problem, the adult hands it back in loving ways.

How it works… What first? – Love and Logic parents make great coaches—they over-learn their plays so they avoid having to improvise under pressure. – Love and Logic is not a cure for misbehavior; rather, it gives children the opportunity to learn from consequences. Know thyself

One Play at a Time Strategy 1: Empathy – Always lead with empathy: “I know you are hungry, dear. I am starving too, and it’s tough. Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes.” Employ the broken record technique: “I know you are hungry, and dinner will be ready in 10 minutes.” Strategy 2: Hint Phrase – Oh, Oh Song “Oh, Oh, looks as if you are whining/fitting/talking back” “Oh dear!”

Strategy 3: Neutralize Arguing – One-liner “Probably so” or “Nice try” (loving, not sarcastic) – One Sentence Intervention I love you too much to argue…..I love you too much to argue….” One Play at a Time

Strategy 4: Enforceable Statements “You may join us for dinner once you are as calm as I am.” “I’ll start the movie as soon as your room is tidy.” Strategy 5: Choices “You may have water or milk.” “Would you like to carry the diaper bag or the grocery bag?” One Play at a Time

Enforceable Statements and Choices – Both help children understand what we will allow rather than telling them what to do. – Choices give our children the opportunity to wrestle with the problem and come to their own conclusion about the best solution. The lesson is more likely to stick with them. – When we tell them what to do, we are sending the message, “You are too fragile to make it without me,” or “You can’t think for yourself, so I’ll do it for you.” – Choices help children regain control.

It’s Not Working! Strategy 6: Consequences – Given with empathy and encouragement – “I feel sad when I miss out Grandma’s special brownies too. Don’t worry. I feel sure you’ll be able to join us for brownies the next time she brings them.” – “Hmmm…this really stumps me. I’ll get back to you. Try not to worry about it.”

Just The Beginning

STOP ~ START ~ CONTINUE