Family Personalities Family Living

What is family personality?  Just as you have personality, so does a family.  All the individuals and their unique characteristics combine to make up a one of a kind family personality.  Components of a families personality include: Atmosphere in the home Family management Dependence level of family members Family values and goals

Different Atmospheres  After spending some time in a family’s home, you become aware of the atmosphere.  It may feel relaxed and organized –or- fast and furious.  The attitude may be causal and friendly – or- formal and distant.

Different Atmospheres Jones Family Loud, Laugh & Cry, Displays of Affection are common, Like to tease, Learned to give and take, Emotions are revealed to everyone, Arguments are frequent but short, when they are over they are forgotten. Williams Family Quiet, Talk but do not joke. They care about each other but do not show affection a lot, Display feelings by doing things for each other rather than talking about it. Very few arguments, get uncomfortable around anger and disagreements.

Family Management Styles  The Autocratic Style Family responsibilities and major decisions are made by one person. Example: In Rachel’s family, Dad makes major decisions for the family. Mom has no interest in taking this kind of responsibility.

Family Management Styles  The Democratic Style Decision making is distributed and made by more than one person. Opinions of all or most family members are considered. Example: In Kyle’s family, Mom is a good money manager so she takes care of finances. Both parents make major decisions together. As a family they decide on where they will go for vacation. They share household duties and chores.

Family Management Styles  The Laissez-Faire Style No one is responsible for making family decisions. Each family member is given freedom to make choices of their own. Can be dangerous and hard to keep the family organized. There is very little structure- Who will pay the bills? What is for dinner? Who will take Johnny to soccer practice?

Dependence & Independence  The aim in parenting is to raise children that will eventually become independent. Independent- having the ability to take care of yourself.  Increase in independence means an increase in responsibility.  Dependents- rely on others to take care of them and make their decisions.  All children are dependent from the start, but as they get older they become more independent.

Dependence & Independence  As children become capable of doing things for themselves it is important for families to encourage and support this independence.  Too much dependence can be a problem. Children who do not develop independence have trouble associating and functioning in the outside world. They depend on family members to make their decisions for them, rather than seeking support or opinions when needed.

Dependence & Independence  In families that function well independence is promoted but not carried to the extreme. Members are encouraged to make decisions and explore relationships. Members are close and spend quality time together without feeling confined or limited. The family provides a support system and a link to many opportunities and experiences.

Family Goals  Goal- something you plan to be, do or have, and are willing to work for it.  The goals that drive your family may be different from other families. Examples: Jackson’s family wants to move closer to their grandparents, they are making plans to save money and get ready to move.  Goals are based on the unique values of the family.  Different families make different choices everyday.

Which part of the target do you aim at? If there was no target, how would you know where to aim? How do families know where to aim their efforts if they have no goal or target?

Review  Identify four characteristics of family personalities. Describe each characteristics in terms of your family.  Describe what is meant by “atmosphere of the family.”  What is the difference between autocratic and democratic management styles?  Why do goals vary among different families?