Handling Difficult Workplace Behaviour Catharine Ozols Coordinator, Advertising & Communications Media Program Mohawk College, Hamilton

Catharine Ozols Graduate of Mohawk’s Advertising Program and the Counselling Techniques Certificate Program Worked 10 years in Toronto at Saffer, FCB and Leo Burnett in Media Buying & Planning Most recently worked at Eaglecom & Direct Mail Worx Graduates at all major agencies, you may even work with some Currently 260 students – lots of different personalities! Plus – 4 teenagers at home!

Agenda Communication Personality Styles & Working with Other Personalities Difficult Workplace Behaviour Strategies for Dealing with Difficult Behaviour Changing Difficult Behaviour

Communication Everything else is worth more than our words: 55% is through our dress, body language, facial expressions, eye contact. 38% is through the sound – our tone, accent, rate of speech, volume, timbre Only 7% is what we say!

Building Rapport Takes 1 – 4 minutes to create a first impression. Takes up to 1 ½ years to change it. Building rapport is important. Match the way people express themselves – share their state of mind. Match their rate, volume, rhythm, and tone. Mirror physical gestures – body language. Speech – use active listening and words that reflect underlying message. Reflect other person’s style.

Building Rapport Match/Pace/Lead Matching creates rapport Pacing give people time to adjust Leading – they start to match and pace you Ending the Conversation Sum up & change tempo, tone, posture. Acknowledge current state of affairs. Create a feeling of shared experience.

Garbage In. Garbage Out. Communication is a reflection of what you put into it. Tempting to blame problems on other person. Non-verbal cues can send message that you are involved and seeing things from the other person’s POV. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.

Handling Difficult Workplace Behaviour Think of the time and energy spent on this. All sorts of behaviour pushes our buttons. Other people may not be aware of their behaviour or as committed as you are. May not be able to change them but you will have to deal with them.

Handling Difficult Workplace Behaviour Behaviour is a result of choices – theirs and yours. They may choose difficult behaviour. You can choose to live in a way that transcends theirs.

Handling Difficult Workplace Behaviour Who Me? I’m not Difficulty! Everyone has a difficult person inside. Much easier to recognize that someone else if being difficult. Sometimes the feeling is mutual. Might be the result of miscommunication and misinterpretation.

Label the Behaviour, Not the Person If you label them, you expect them to behave that way all the time. You start to look for the behaviour and react: Double agenda Struggle with anger Low self-esteem Manipulative Arrogant Controlling Can’t tell the truth Focus on themselves

What Really Bugs You? What are the kind of things that really bug you – push your buttons. Have you thought about why it bugs you so much? What do you do about it?

24 Types of Difficult Behaviour/Personality Types Bad Attitude Space Invader Knee-Jerk Resister Ruthless Critic Verbally Compulsive Avoider Accommodator Authoritarians Know it alls Sarcastic types Aggressive types Nay Sayers Withdrawn/Passive types Victims Green Eyed Monsters Control Freaks Perfectionists Not My Job people Rumour Monger Uncommitted Sacrificer Self Castigator Scapegoater The Eggshell

Strategies Avoid it Neutralize your reactions Change their behaviour

Changing Difficult Behaviour They have to want to change and, even so, change is difficult. Look at things from their POV – understand what drives and motivates them. Person may be difficult because that’s the only way they know how to respond. Acknowledge there could be an underlying cause for negative or difficult behaviour. They may just need to change the way they express themselves.

Changing Difficult Behaviour Detach yourself from the conflict. Don’t react emotionally. Think before you respond. Know what “gets” you. Understand why. Label the behaviour (to yourself). Transfer the positive intent behind the behaviour into something that communicates it more appropriately.

Active Listening Hear and understand other people. Let them know you’ve heard and understood them. Resist the urge to defend, disapprove or correct. Acknowledge motivations, feelings, POV. Restate what they have said. May not realize what it sounds like. May re-think. Buys time for you to think. Puts the burden back on the other person.

Active Listening Reflecting Reword what the person has said. Indicates understanding. Shows that you are listening. Summarize with one simple idea. Disconnect from the irrational aspects and focus on the real issue. Talk about what you can agree with.

Active Listening Ask Questions. Demonstrate you are trying to understand their POV. Find out more about what they are thinking. Clarify the situation. Keep in mind that you could be wrong or only partially right. Listen for the real meaning.

W.I.N. Strategies Let the person know what you need. Use “I” statements. When you ….. I feel ….. I Need …. Be explicit about what you see happening and what you need.

Corporate Culture Foster an environment where difficult behaviours are systematically discouraged. People tend to model what they see other people doing. Effective leadership and management skills set the tone. Peer pressure is effective – social norms. Instil a positive manner. Be a role model.