Anger Management By Prof. Syed Moeenuddin Peerzada

What is Anger? Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage."

How do you experience anger?

How do you feel it physically and emotionally? What changes do you notice in yourself when you become angry? __________________  Complete the checklist on the next slide.

Are there other ways you experience anger internally? __________________________

Think about these reactions. Are they good for you—your health? your relationships? Your success at work and in life?

Why do we get angry? “We are predisposed to become angry when we consider an event or a person as a threat to one of our basic needs such as food or shelter, or more mature needs such as identity, recognition, achievement, and social affiliation.”

Appraisal Part of what makes us angry is how we appraise or interpret situations. Sometimes we misinterpret situations as threatening while actually they are not.

When do you get angry?

When was the last time you were angry? Day/week: _____________________ Time: _________________________ Place: _________________________

What was happening in the hours before you became angry? ____________________________________________

What was your mood before you became angry? __________________________ _______________________

What occurred right before you became angry? _________________________

Psychologists often call that “right before” event a “trigger.” The scene has been set by previous events and your mood, and then something triggers your response of anger.

For example, maybe you have had a bad morning…got up late and felt sleepy, spilled coffee/Tea and had to change your shirt, tired from the day before, a little worried about a paper you need to write…and then, the trigger: someone hits your car with his bike.

Understanding Triggers Recognizing there has been a series of precursors to the anger; can reduce the impact of the trigger. And, knowing your specific triggers can help you respond differently when they occur the next time.

What are your triggers? __________________________________

Thoughts Matter Triggers are accompanied by thoughts, including thoughts that you have so quickly that they are almost automatic and you may not even notice them.

Back to your example… What thoughts did you have about the event just before becoming angry? ______________________________

Brainstorming The thoughts that lead to anger often involve feeling treated unfairly. While calm, brainstorm other ways to think about the situation to help prepare yourself for the next time it occurs

Replace Maladaptive Thoughts Instead of Aslam did that on purpose to make me look bad, you might think, Aslam is trying his best, but he still has room to grow. Instead of Arif is always late and makes me wait, you might think, Arif has trouble being on time; from now on, I’ll just meet him when he is in the office.

Now You Try Usual thought that leads to anger _______________________________ New way of thinking about it _______________________________

How Do You Act When Angry? How do you typically act when angry? __________________________

? Do you…  Show it on your face?  Grit your teeth?  Grin?  Turn red?  Criticize the “cause” of your anger?  Physically attack the “cause” of your anger?  Curse or Swear?  Walk out?  Withdraw from others?  Yell or Shout?  Complain?  Clench your fists?  Make aggressive gestures?  Threaten others?  Punch or Throw objects?  Stomp your feet?  Slam doors?  Brood?

Aggression These are aggressive behaviors. Aggression and anger are not the same thing. People act aggressively for a purpose, such as showing others their anger, intimidating others, getting a feeling of relief….

Avoiding Sometimes people avoid others when they are angry so they won’t show the anger or take it out on others. This can be helpful at times, but it can also lead to isolation and passivity--not dealing with problems, so never solving them.

What are the Effects of Your Actions? What usually occurs after you react to your own anger? ___________________________

What are the short term effects? ___________________________ ___________________________ For example:  Do you experience relief?  Do you become angrier? Depressed?  Does your anger influence other situations you encounter or your interactions with others?

? What are the long term effects? For example:  Do you become angry again in a similar situation?  Do you continue to experience the same problem as before?  Are there significant long term effects, such as lost friendships or jobs, a drinking problem, or a court appearance?

Negative Aspects of Anger Anger may lead to muddled thinking or impulsive action Anger can cause confusion as to where the true problem lies Anger can lead to aggression or avoidance

Can Anger be a Positive? Although anger is often viewed as a negative feeling, it can be used in a positive way…  Anger provides cues that there is a problem  Anger provides energy and can help motivate action  Anger encourages the expression of feelings

Positive Relief Anger feels uncomfortable. There are ways to relieve it that are not destructive. Taking some time before reacting can be constructive—not aggression, not avoidance, just a break before deciding how to handle things that have led to the anger.

Time Out Ways to ease feelings of anger  Take a walk or engage in some other physical activity  Perform a relaxation exercise (e.g. meditation, progressive relaxation, etc.)  Read a book  Listen to Qiraat/Naats  Watch television  Talk to or call a friend  Write in your journal / diary  Complete assignment What ideas do you have?

Practicing Relaxation Progressive relaxation  Take 3 deep abdominal breaths and imagine the tension leaving your body as you exhale  Clench your fists and hold for up to 10 seconds (use this amount of time for each muscle group). Release.  Tighten your biceps. Release.  Tighten your triceps. Release. Continue to follow the directions above for each muscle group making sure you include muscles in your face, shoulders, and core, and continue to breathe deeply.

Anger Management Therapy Illustration #1 Starting Position – Get Angry To start, lie on your back as show in Illustration. Then close your eyes and raise your arms straight up towards the ceiling. Make a fist. Now inhale deeply and really get angry.

Illustration #2 Anger Management Therapy Now, tense your arms and clench your fist and slowly start to bring your hands down towards your chest, as shown in Illustrations

Illustration #3 Anger Management Therapy Pretend as if you are pulling an immensely heavy object down towards you. Continue to let angry flow as you do this. Any anger that comes up just allow it to come up. Remain angry.

Illustration #4 Anger Management Therapy Once your fists reach your chest, exhale forcefully from the mouth and with the outgoing breath release all the anger consciously. Then inhale again, raise your arms and repeat 2 more times for a total of 3 repetitions.

 After completing your three repetitions, relax completely in corpse pose for 1-3 minutes. Just observe any remnants of anger which might come up and allow this energy to run it’s course and then let it go completely.corpse pose  Don’t be afraid to really get angry when doing this practice. Also, if you notice certain thought patterns coming up repeatedly during this exercise, learn to detach yourself from them, let them run their course and allow them to finish.  In general, don’t judge yourself when you get angry. We all get angry and there is nothing wrong with that, it is ok. Just learn to observe this anger and don’t get swept away with the ego empowering, hateful, negative thoughts that anger ignites. Instead, try to use this opportunity to practice forgiveness and develop your Witnessing Consciousness. Tips for Anger Management Therapy:  Corpse Pose: For corpse pose just lie comfortably on your back and have your hands out to the sides or on your chest. Just let go during this time and let the Universe take care of you. Have no worries, anxieties or goals, and simply surrender to Infinity. Breath: Relaxed

Use the Anger Let anger be your friend. Listen to it. What is the problem you are encountering? Is it related to the preceding situations or moods? Why is the trigger powerful over you? What steps can you take to figure out the problem?

Addressing the Problem Once you have figured out the problem, you can figure out how to address it. Do you need to rearrange your schedule? Learn time management skills? Talk with someone about your interactions? End a bad relationship?