TOP TEN WAYS TO FAIL SPANISH 10. As soon as you can, throw away every paper your teacher gives you – especially the colored ones. If it were really important, it would be in the text book or on the Internet anyway.
TOP TEN WAYS TO FAIL SPANISH 9. Whatever you rite, don’t worry abou grammer or speling rools. We’s don’t needs ‘em anyways. We aint worried ‘bout no one understandin us ‘cuz we talks n rites reel good.
TOP TEN WAYS TO FAIL SPANISH 8. Homework should be avoided at all costs. I mean, we all know everything there is to know about English, and that only took about 15 years. There is no reason to think that we can’t learn everything about Spanish in a 90 minute class every other day in a year or so. In the rare occasion that you are so bored that you actually do homework, don’t even think about turning it in on time!
TOP TEN WAYS TO FAIL SPANISH 7. Don’t come to class except on Fridays and when we’re playing games. On those days when you do attend, don’t come on time… hey, we like Saturday detentions anyway.
TOP TEN WAYS TO FAIL SPANISH 6. Never bring anything to class that is remotely related to Spanish. If you bring them, then you won’t have room in your bookbag for chips, soda, CD players and cell phones.
TOP TEN WAYS TO FAIL SPANISH 5. Remember: paying attention is a waste of time. It causes you to learn stuff and that might cause a personal crisis.
TOP TEN WAYS TO FAIL SPANISH 4. Only talk when the teacher is talking. Bonus points on the failure scale if you talk really loud after the teacher has asked you specifically to be quiet. Double bonus points if you never speak in class - even in English.
TOP TEN WAYS TO FAIL SPANISH 3. The one thing that would help you the most, and so therefore should be avoided whenever possibe, is speaking Spanish. After all, you already learned to count on Sesame Street. You’ve learned your basic phrases with Dora the Explorer and you have perfected your pronunciation with “Yo quiero Taco Bell”. Who needs more practice than that?!
TOP TEN WAYS TO FAIL SPANISH 2. Never ever, ever study or review! This might cause you to remember material that you didn’t hear in class when you were daydreaming. If and when you are forced you to study, or when you are soooooo bored that you actually look at your friend’s notes, be sure to do it in one small chunk of time. Gotta budget in the TV and Xbox time for later, and we can’t have studying messing with that, can we?
TOP TEN WAYS TO FAIL SPANISH 1. And the #1 way to absolutely put you on the failure track… Avoid asking questions or getting help at all costs!! No matter how confused you get, no matter how many times your teacher asks you if you understand, don’t EVER ask questions. Who knows the kind of emergency that can create? Who knows if the teacher even knows the answer to questions that aren’t in the teacher’s text! For Pete’s sake, this is NOT the time to find out!!!