That morning, I went to a forest with my friend. We saw a lot of animals and plants. We walked on and on. When we got tired, we sat under a tree. It was nice. What do you think about this paragraph?

BORING!

What can we do? 1.Add description and better vocabulary. 2.Add how you felt. 3.Use different sentence types (EXCLAMATIONS!) 4.Add dialogue.

1. ADDING DESCRIPTION AND VOCABULARY That morning, I went to a forest with my friend. We saw a lot of animals and trees. We walked on and on. When we got tired, we sat under a tree. It was nice.

That morning, I went to a forest with my friend. Last fall, I went on a quest to find animals in a deciduous forest with my good friend Eva.

We saw a lot of animals and trees. We saw numerous animals, like squirrels, deer, raccoons and owls. The color of the tree leaves was remarkable.

We walked on and on. We scurried through the forest, trying to see everything we could.

When we got tired, we sat under a tree. When we felt out of breath, we slumped under the shade of a maple tree.

It was nice. It was glorious.

1. ADDING DESCRIPTION AND VOCABULARY That morning, I went to a forest with my friend. We saw a lot of animals and trees. We walked on and on. When we got tired, we sat under a tree. It was nice. Last fall, I went on a quest to find animals in a deciduous forest with my good friend Eva. We saw numerous animals, like squirrels, deer, raccoons and owls. The color of the tree leaves was remarkable. We scurried through the forest, trying to see everything we could. When we felt out of breath, we slumped under the shade of a maple tree. It was glorious.

2. ADDING HOW YOU FELT Last fall, I went on a quest to find animals in a deciduous forest with my good friend Eva. We saw numerous animals, like squirrels, deer, raccoons and owls. The color of the tree leaves was remarkable. We scurried through the forest, trying to see everything we could. When we felt out of breath, we slumped under the shade of a maple tree. It was glorious.

2. ADDING HOW YOU FELT Last fall, I went on a quest to find animals in a deciduous forest with my good friend Eva. We saw numerous animals, like squirrels, deer, raccoons and owls. It was amazing to see so much life. The color of the tree leaves was remarkable. We scurried through the forest, trying to see everything we could. The forest seemed so big, like it would never end. When we felt out of breath, we slumped under the shade of a maple tree. There was a cool breeze that felt wonderful. It was glorious.

3. USING DIFFERENT SENTENCE TYPES Last fall, I went on a quest to find animals in a deciduous forest with my good friend Eva. We saw numerous animals, like squirrels, deer, raccoons and owls. It was amazing to see so much life. The color of the tree leaves was remarkable. We scurried through the forest, trying to see everything we could. The forest seemed so big, like it would never end. When we felt out of breath, we slumped under the shade of a maple tree. There was a cool breeze that felt wonderful. It was glorious.

3. USING DIFFERENT SENTENCE TYPES Last fall, I went on a quest to find animals in a deciduous forest with my good friend Eva. We saw numerous animals, like squirrels, deer, raccoons and owls. How amazing it was to see so much life! The color of the tree leaves was remarkable. We scurried through the forest, trying to see everything we could. Would the forest ever end? When we felt out of breath, we slumped under the shade of a maple tree. There was a cool breeze that felt wonderful. What a glorious day!

4. ADDING DIALOGUE Last fall, I went on a quest to find animals in a deciduous forest with my good friend Eva. We saw numerous animals, like squirrels, deer, raccoons and owls. How amazing it was to see so much life! The color of the tree leaves was remarkable. We scurried through the forest, trying to see everything we could. Would the forest ever end? When we felt out of breath, we slumped under the shade of a maple tree. There was a cool breeze that felt wonderful. What a glorious day!

4. ADDING DIALOGUE Last fall, I went on a quest to find animals in a deciduous forest with my good friend Eva. We saw numerous animals, like squirrels, deer, raccoons and owls. How amazing it was to see so much life! “I wonder if we’ll see a bear,” Eva said. The color of the tree leaves was remarkable. We scurried through the forest, trying to see everything we could. Would the forest ever end? “Let’s rest for a moment. I’m out of breath,” I shouted to Eva, who was still running fast. We slumped under the shade of a maple tree. There was a cool breeze that felt wonderful. “We should definitely come back again soon,” Eva suggested. What a glorious day!

REMEMBER THIS? That morning, I went to a forest with my friend. We saw a lot of animals and plants. We walked on and on. When we got tired, we sat under a tree. It was nice. Which one is better? Let’s do a Venn diagram comparing them.

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