S.T.A.R. Method of Revision

Revision Activity Take a few minutes to revise the piece of writing you have been given. “Skipping a Heart beat”

Surface Revision vs. Deep Revision

Surface Revision vs. Deep Revision Giving the car a new paint job Reupholstering the ceiling lining Replacing the tires Surface Level Improvements Deep-Level Improvements Ripping out the back seats and replacing them with a movie projection screen Putting a more powerful engine in the car Outfitting the car with hydraulics

Surface Revision vs. Deep Revision Changing a word Changing a phrase Changing a sentence Surface Level Improvements Deep-Level Improvements Changing the focus of the piece Changing the purpose Changing the sequence Changing the point of view

There are four major ways a writer can transform a piece of writing:

S.T.A.R S – Substitute T – Take things out A – Add R – Rearrange

Substitute Replace: – Overused words – Weak verbs with strong verbs – Weak adjectives with strong adjectives – Common nouns with proper nouns – “Dead” words

Take Out Take out: – Unnecessary repetitions – Unimportant or irrelevant information – Parts that might belong in another piece

Add Add: – Detail – Description – New information – Figurative language – Development – Clarification of meanings – Expanded ideas

Rearrange Rearrange: – The sequence to produce a desired effect – The order for a more logical flow

Activity Read First Draft and revise it using the S.T.A.R. method.

Surface Revision Substituted – “bothers” became “irked” Take things out – Removed the sentence: “I hate CD packaging” Add – Life cereal, The Rock/Barry Bonds’ steroids, Led Zeppelin Rearrange – Combined two sentences to create the following sentence: “You cannot open those with your bare hands unless you have been working out with The Rock and have been gulping a daily dose of Barry Bonds’ steroids.”

Deep Revision Made the first sentence into its own paragraph for effect. Added development by moving the piece from three paragraphs to four. Rearranged the sequence of the piece, moving paragraph two in the first draft to the last paragraph in draft two.

Now use the S.T.A.R. method to revise your piece of writing.