Friendship

Why is friendship good?  Life would be lonely, desolate  It is as necessary to the spirit as food is to the body  All cultures tell us of it and praise it  Scriptures  Makes us laugh, listens to us, lends a hand, is fun, consoles  Jesus is a model of true friendship

On Loose Leaf  What are the qualities that you associate with true friendship?  In a paragraph, what does friendship mean to you?

Who are true friends?  Someone to be “real” with  Share common things  Mutual caring: “I” “Thou” relationship  Glimpse of eternal “Thou”  Questions to ask: Do we bring out the best in each other? Do we bring out the best in each other? Are we loyal and honest with each other? Are we loyal and honest with each other? Is our relationship mutual and caring? Is our relationship mutual and caring? Do we accept each other for who we are? Do we accept each other for who we are? Are we generous with each other? Are we generous with each other?

Write the name of your best friend the top of loose leaf 1. Does your friend bring out the best in you? Give specific examples to support. 2. Do you bring out the best in your friend give specific examples to support. 3. Describe one time when your friend was loyal in adversity or honest in a difficult situation. 4. Describe a time when you were loyal and honest.

Discussion  What does it mean to be a loyal friend?  Why is loyalty so important to friendships?  What kinds of things are you willing to do to demonstrate your loyalty to a friend?  What are examples of a misguided or unhealthy understanding of loyalty in regard to friendship?

Reflection…(cont.) 5. Is your relationship mutual and equal? How so? Or why not? 6. What are things in your friend that you find hard to accept? How do you deal with those? 7. What are things in you they may find hard to accept? How do they deal with those? 8. When has your friend been generous with you? Use specific examples. 9. When have you been generous with your friend?

How can I be a true friend?  Loyal, acceptance, honest, available, unselfish, generous, helpful, equality  Encourage other in use of talents, decisions, see best  Never desert, walk out, pressure, lie to or for  Both call, choose fun, give gifts, speak and listen, can be open, honest, critical when needed  Accept faults, forget past mistakes, overlook the superficial  Go out of your way, share home, lend things, support

Levels of friendship

Best Friend  Tell anything about self, hopes, dreams, fears  Keeps secrets  Can say anything in conversation  Never lies, either to or for  Really listens in conversation  Can always count on  Shares interest  Developed over time  Lucky to have a few

Friends  Tell most things  Say most things to  Almost always listens  Mostly count on

Acquaintances  School mates, later work colleagues  Neighborhood friends, later clubs, committees  Church friends  Know who they are and a little about them  Person at the bodega, favorite restaurant

Collaborators  Common interests  Work on school projects together  When project is over don’t necessarily continue

Buddies  Sports team or activity  Need shared activity or the relationship evaporates  Some people rely exclusively on buddy relationships

Relatives as friends  When you choose them to be your friends  Doubly good because of special closeness  Share additional family interests, gatherings, memories, culture, heritage

When a friendship ends

Why does friendship end?  Distance  Changes in person  Competition/Envy  Money/Favors  Overdependence  Betrayal

How did you feel?  Peaceful, relieved, positive, resentful, painful, bitter, hurt

How did you let go?  Listen, understand, forgive  Let go “formally” have an official good bye  Write a letter  Put away reminders  Remember the good parts that were real friendships and then look for these in next relationship  Assess the relationship for the real friendship…