Junior/Senior Leadership Training Session #1: Communicating & Connecting

Hoyas Lead Leadership Framework Unstructured/Informal (UI) Structured/Positional/Formal (SPF)

Unstructured/Informal Leaders (UI) Anyone who does not have a title or formal power, but takes on the responsibility of leadership. They influence others first, through exemplary self-leadership; and second, through intentional connection with all teammates. They are enthusiastic followers. They understand that “not everyone on a championship team gets publicity, but everyone can say they’re a champion”.

Structured/Positional/Formal Leaders (SPF) People that have been granted formal power and authority by virtue of a position, a title, or a formal role. To be effective they have already been successful as UI leaders but add to their influence through the platform and voice of their position.

Definition: Leadership = Influence “Leadership is relational as much as positional”--John Maxwell “If I had a single, all-purpose instrument of leadership, it would be communication”-- John W. Gardner Every team member has the opportunity to influence, so each has the responsibility to lead Foundation of leadership in the 21st century is authentic connection, relationship, esp. for SPF leaders Most important skill in connecting is communicating

Communication 101 “The exchange of information, energy, or feelings”

Transmission - stuff that goes out Non-verbal may account for 2/3 or more of all communication Mehrabian & Ferris (1967): 55% visual cues, 38% vocal cues (pitch, rate, etc), 7% content Body language is habituated It is a natural, instinctive reflection of our emotional state

Nonverbal Communication

Counterpoint: 2005 German national election study by Nagel, et. al. Analysis of content and impressions of viewers of debate between Merkel & Schroeder Concluded that “verbal message elements had by far the strongest impact on viewers’ impressions” Study weakness--strictly TV viewing, no studio, participants clearly seeking content

Transmission -- stuff that goes out Verbal--energy/emotion. Hard to measure, pinpoint or explain, but effect is real Verbal--information/content. Words can raise flags, open doors, closer conversations, or create dialogue. Improve your relationship vocab!

Reception -- stuff that comes in Effective listening = most important way to build bridges & strengthen connections “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”--T. Roosevelt

Bad Listening -- Example 1

Bad Listening -- Example 2

Bad Listening -- Example 3

Receiving Keys Be prepared physically--distance, posture, arm positions, general presence Be reflective--reframe the story in your words, check in, convey your engagement Avoid “loser listening” tendencies

Loser Listening Knowing the Answer Trying to be Helpful Competing/Topping Impressing Reacting to Red Flags Believing in Language Applying the Kitchen Sink

Receiving - Availability Awareness, stillness of mind and being enable the possibility of mystical connection Availability for real connection by virtual and digital disconnection helps develop: - empathy - delayed gratification

Takeaways Words are partial truths. Foolish leaders listen; wise leaders hear. You’ll connect more deeply by realizing words are shadows. Most of us say easier, less revealing, less vulnerable truths. We hide our truths in shadows. Once in a while, dip below the surface and let those around you know you understand their concerns. --Dan Rockwell

Large group feedback Small group experience sharing and active listening practice