Analytical Conclusions

Review: Parts of a paragraph Topic Sentence 3 supporting examples/pieces of proof Details and explanation of the examples Transitions A concluding sentence All paragraphs work together to prove the thesis of your paper

Concluding Sentences In history papers, a high-quality concluding sentence should do more than summarize. It should analyze. The concluding sentence is where you tell why your facts are important. In a way, it is your own interpretation of the information This means your conclusion may be more than 1 sentence. It may be 1, 2, or even 3.

How do I write an analytical concluding sentence? It’s easy! After you fill your paragraph with facts and details, ask yourself these questions… – Why are these facts important? What do they reveal about my topic? – What are the effects or results my examples had on the society? – What are the consequences of the examples I discussed – What happened next? – Imagine starting your conclusion with the words ‘Because of this…’

Look at some examples of what you DO NOT want All Mesopotamian civilizations had inventions that made society better. One important invention by the Sumerians was the wheel. Once the wheel was invented, the Sumerians could use it to transport more items and they could also carry those items longer distances. Secondly, the Egyptians developed papyrus, a type of paper made from reeds. They used papyrus to keep records and report on important events in the empire. Students in school used papyrus to learn writing and other subjects. A third invention was used for war. The Assyrians developed the battering ram, which was basically a large wooden beam on wheels. Soldiers would grab each side of the beam and push it into the gates of their enemies. The wheel, papyrus, and the battering ram helped the ancient civilizations improve. This conclusion only summarizes (or reviews) what you already said.

Here is an example of what you DO want All Mesopotamian civilizations had inventions that made society better. One important invention by the Sumerians was the wheel. Once the wheel was invented, the Sumerians could use it to transport more items and they could also carry those items longer distances. Secondly, the Egyptians developed papyrus, a type of paper made from reeds. They used papyrus to keep records and report on important events in the empire. Students in school used papyrus to learn writing and other subjects. A third invention was used for war. The Assyrians developed the battering ram, which was basically a large wooden beam on wheels. Soldiers would grab each side of the beam and push it into the gates of their enemies. Clearly, ancient inventions affected all parts of life. Improvements in trade, education, and war made the people of ancient civilizations rich, smart, and strong. It tells the effects and results of their inventions—they became rich, smart, and strong. You are analyzing and explaining why the information is important—because it changed the way people lived.

Try another one. Is this what you do or don’t want? All of these civilizations depended on trade. Trade was a way to get resources that they didn’t have. Egypt had lots of metals and rocks but lacked wood. Babylon’s main sources were related to agriculture. They gave meat, wheat and textiles to get wood, weapons, copper, and other things. Sumer also traded to get what they needed. Trade was important everywhere.

This is better… All of these civilizations depended on trade. Trade was a way to get resources that they didn’t have. Egypt had lots of metals and rocks but lacked wood. Babylon’s main sources were related to agriculture. They gave meat, wheat and textiles to get wood, weapons, copper, and other things. Sumer also traded to get what they needed. Overall, because they traded with each other, no country was at a disadvantage and the entire region began to thrive. What was the result of depending on trade? What happened next? The whole region began to thrive.

One more example: Pick out the topic sentence, the examples, and the analytical conclusion The Assyrians were able to attack and invade their neighbors because they were skilled warriors. They invented the battering ram, a weapon that was a wooden beam on wheels. They used these battering rams to break down the gates and walls of their enemies. The Assyrian soldiers also had excellent swords, helmets and shields, all made of iron. In fact, their weapons were usually superior to those of their neighbors, which made hand-to-hand combat their preferred method of fighting. However, the Assyrians also had skilled archers who could attack from farther away and the Assyrian army used siege tactics like surrounding enemy cities or burning all of a city’s crops until the people were forced to give up. Sometimes, the Assyrians would enter a city and slaughter many of the people living there. One Assyrian king bragged that he had sacked 9 cities and 820 villages. He also burned the cities of Babylon, and ordered most of the inhabitants killed. Another king boasted of burning to death 3,000 captives. These tactics helped prevent future uprisings against the Assyrians, and they also helped spread their fierce reputation. Therefore, when the Assyrian army moved on to the next city, their enemies would be too scared to resist and could be defeated without a fight.

Try one. Finish the paragraph The Persian Empire had a great impact on the region and its people. Cyrus ruled through fear and tolerance. Once people were conquered, he showed them much generosity. For example, after conquering Fertile Crescent lands, he freed the Hebrew people from Babylonian rule. As a result, the Hebrews viewed Cyrus as a liberator and supported him. Cyrus’ tolerant approach toward different religions was rare. Because of this, …

Here’s how the paragraph originally ended The Persian Empire had a great impact on the region and its people. Cyrus ruled through fear and tolerance. Once people were conquered, he showed them much generosity. For example, after conquering Fertile Crescent lands, he freed the Hebrew people from Babylonian rule. As a result, the Hebrews viewed Cyrus as a liberator and supported him. Cyrus’ tolerant approach toward different religions was rare. Because of this, his subjects seldom revolted and usually lived in peace. This made governing the empire an easier task.

Try one yourself: Get rid of the summarizing conclusion and write one that analyzes.