Argumentative Essay Feedback on First Draft

Key Areas for Improvement 1.Proof read your work for technical accuracy. 2.Order your arguments in a way that is easy for your reader to understand. 3.Link your arguments so that they work together. 4.Refute any arguments you introduce that oppose your stance. 5.Include a detailed bibliography.

1. Proof-reading

Identify the 8 technical errors in this paragraph: The purpose of this essay is too answer the following question: should their ever be a situation in which one country assassinates the dictator of another country. Its an important question, because one country may value it’s international independence personally I think that there are when a government can kill a foreign dictator, but this should only happen in very extreme circumstances

Commonly Confused Words To, too and two To – I am going to write about assisted suicide. Too (too much, too many, too few) – Some people say the UK allows too many migrants into our country. Two (the number 2) – there are two main arguments in favour of legalising cannabis. There, they’re and their There – There are two main arguments in favour of legalising cannabis. They’re (They are) – Many people believe the police should be armed. They think they’re better protected by police who have firearms. Their (belonging to them) – Immigrants should be allowed into this country as their own countries are often torn apart by war.

1. Using the Apostrophe There are two main ways in which the apostrophe is used: 1.To indicate a contraction (words have been merged and / or letters missed out). – We aren’t doing any Close Reading today – We are not doing any Close Reading today. – I’m never late with my homework – I am never late with my homework. – We shan’t be moved – We shall not be moved. 2.To indicate a possessive noun (a noun that belongs to another noun). – The dog’s collars – the collars belonging to the dog. – The dogs’ collars – the collars belonging to the dogs. – Elvis’ collars – the collars belonging to Elvis. The possessive noun is the weaker use of the apostrophe – if there is any confusion between a contraction and a possessive noun, it is the contraction that will use the apostrophe. For example: – Its collars – The collars belonging to it. – It’s a very nice day today – It is a very nice day today. – Their cinema tickets – The cinema tickets belonging to them. – They’re going to the cinema – They are going to the cinema.

2. Ordering Your Arguments

Effective Argumentative Essay Structure 1 1.Introduction 2.Body a)Arguments supporting your stance i.Argument 1, supported by evidence. ii.Argument 2, supported by evidence. and so on… b)Arguments opposing your stance i.Argument 1, supported (briefly) by evidence. – Refute this Argument. ii.Argument 1, supported (briefly) by evidence. – Refute this Argument. and so on… 3.Conclusion

Effective Argumentative Essay Structure 2 1.Introduction 2.Body b)Arguments opposing your stance i.Argument 1, supported (briefly) by evidence. – Refute this Argument. ii.Argument 1, supported (briefly) by evidence. – Refute this Argument. and so on… a)Arguments supporting your stance i.Argument 1, supported by evidence. ii.Argument 2, supported by evidence. and so on… 3.Conclusion

Don’t Do This! 1.Introduction 2.Body a)Argument supporting your stance b)Argument opposing your stance c)Argument supporting your stance d)Argument opposing your stance e)Argument supporting your stance f)Argument opposing your stance g)Argument supporting your stance h)Argument opposing your stance and so on… 3.Conclusion

3. Linking Your Arguments

3.Use Linking Vocabulary 1.To introduce a point: It would seem; Many people believe; There are those who feel; The modern thinker; Current opinion is; It seems; It would appear… 2.Same line of thought: Firstly; Secondly; Furthermore; In addition; Likewise; Similarly; Also; Moreover… 4.To re-direct an argument: Despite this; Nevertheless; It would therefore seem; Conversely; Yet; On the other hand; However; Although; Otherwise; On the contrary… 5.To conclude a point: Thus; Therefore; Consequently; Accordingly; Hence; In conclusion; In brief; As a result… Linking vocabulary should be used to signpost your essay. It should be there to help your reader to understand the direction your argument is going in.

Use Linking Vocabulary to Connect These Two Paragraphs Issue: Should Western countries intervene in the governance of Third World Countries? Stance: Yes they should....Intervention here not only lengthens life expectancy and improves the health of the African people, but helps create a stronger workforce, therefore improving the economy. Before and up until 1807 the British Empire was actively involved in African slavery, along with the U.S and much of the western world. Many of Africa’s problems are a direct result of occupation and colonisation, therefore, should the countries that made this mess not do what they can to put it right?...

4. Refuting Your Arguments

4. Refute arguments that oppose your stance Refute means to disprove an argument / explain why you are not convinced by it. The purpose of your essay is to persuade your reader to agree with your stance on an issue. To do this, you should: 1.Introduce lots of arguments that support your stance. 2.Show that you are aware of the main arguments that oppose your stance, and explain why you find them unconvincing (refute them). If you don’t refute these arguments, then referring to them will not help to persuade your reader – they will just undermine your argument.

Refute the argument in the second paragraph. Many people believe that capital punishment should be abolished as, if the person who has been executed has later been pardoned for their crime, it is impossible to take back this punishment. Despite this, many people believes that capital punishment should not be abolished. One major argument for this is that some people believe there are some crimes that are so appalling, the only suitable punishment for them is the death penalty.

5. Including a Bibliography Provide an accurate bibliography: Refer to specific web pages, not just domains, e.g.: – “ – Not “en.wikipedia.org ”, or “Wikipedia”, etc. – Or, even worse, “the internet”(!) Similarly, refer to specific articles in newspapers, etc., not just the newspaper itself, e.g.: – “Germany and France demand talks with the U.S. over NSA spying Revelations”, The Guardian, Friday, 25 th of October. You cannot submit your redraft without a bibliography.

Key Areas for Improvement 1.Proof read your work for technical accuracy. 2.Order your arguments in a way that is easy for your reader to understand. 3.Link your arguments so that they work together. 4.Refute any arguments you introduce that oppose your stance. 5.Include a detailed bibliography.