Who are you? when adolescence collides with midlife

References Jack O. Balswick PhD- University of Iowa Director of Marriage and Family Research- Fuller Theological Seminary Professors of sociology and family development- Fuller Judith K. Balswick EdD- University of Georgia Director of clinical training- Fuller Senior professors of marital and family therapy- Fuller

Delayed Adulthood 1. Technology has delayed entrance into the fulltime workforce. 2. Most work is now done outside of the home. 3. The nuclear family has become a fragile unit without a sense of stability and belonging. 4. Affluence has created independence.

Adolescence Identity Crisis Those who experience Those who don’t Weight of Opinions Shift Parents vs. Friends Teens want control of their lives Parents don’t want them to make bad decisions Teens need chances to learn to make decisions

Midlife Midlife Crisis Feel they are behind on their goals Feel they have neglected their families, but can financial make time now.

Crises Interact Double inferiority complex Developmental opposites Alternate perspectives

Parenting Styles Restrictive vs. permissive Best Outcomes: Balanced authority Balanced parenting Clear guidelines

Final Thoughts You are the number one influencer of your teen. Your child still has free will Your attitude towards your child will guide their self perception. Empower your teens.

Discussion Groups 4 parents at a table A married couple counts as 1. Be open and honest or silent and keep confidentiality. Remember that we are all individuals trying to do the best we can. Enjoy learning from each other.

Discussion Questions (1) What is the biggest fight that you have gotten into with your teen or heard of someone getting into with their teen? How was the issue resolved? How do you perceive adolescence being different now versus when you were a teen? How do you see your teen or teens in our community dealing their personal identity issues?

Discussion Questions (2) In what ways can parents help their teens with these issues? Have you had personal success in this year? How or maybe why not? How have you seen midlife crisis affect people you know or yourself personally? How does that unique situation help understand our teens’ crises?

Discussion Questions (3) In what ways have you see your words or someone else’s words impact your teen in a deeper way then an adult would be affected? How does this change your perspective on our interacts with your teen? What parenting style did you grow up in? How did that personally affect you?

Discussion Questions (4) How can you actively empower your teens in the future? How do you see this playing out in their lives?

Closing Always look to improve