1 Encouraging Appropriate Behavior Nurturing Parenting Section 4.4 GOAL: To assist parents in implementing an appropriate system of discipline

2 OBJECTIVES To increase parent’s ability to implement an effective program of discipline in their homes. To increase parent's awareness of effective non-abusive, nurturing strategies of punishment. To provide parents practice in using time-out as a consequence for inappropriate behavior.

3 Focus on non-abusive and nurturing forms of punishment Resume the video entitled :Discipline, Rewards and Punishment”

4 Review and discuss five types of logical consequences as punishments Loss of Privilege: Appropriate for children 2 ½ years and older. A privilege is a right granted by the parent or family. Privileges may be watching TV, staying up past bed time, playing with the computer, etc. If a child misuses the object or misuses the privilege, they lose it for awhile. Brainstorm: What privileges do your children have and when they might be taken away.

5 Review and discuss five types of logical consequences as punishments (cont.) Being Grounded: Appropriate for children 3 ½ years and older. When a child repeatedly leaves the yard or an area purposefully, without permission, an appropriate logical consequence as punishment is being grounded to the yard or to the house for a period of time. The child must know it isn’t appropriate to leave the yard before “being grounded” can be used as punishment. Brainstorm: What instances have you used “being grounded” as a logical consequence.

6 Review and discuss five types of logical consequences as punishments(cont.) Restitution: Appropriate for children 4 years or older. Restitution means paying for some misdeed, either with money or extra chores. Restitutions, in the form of money, is effective only when the child has a means of income, such as an allowance or a job. If the child does not have an income, doing extra chores in the house is appropriate. Brainstorm: When have you used restitution as a for of a logical consequence.

7 Review and discuss five types of logical consequences as punishments (cont.) Parental Disappointment: Appropriate for children 2 ½ years and older. Parental disappointment is a simple statement, which expresses the disappointment a parent feels for a behavior the child has chosen to perform. The intent is to build an awareness in the child of the parent’s disappointment. Could be followed by applying another logical consequence like loss of privileges. Brainstorm: When can you use disappointment. What about expressing “disappointment” for every misbehavior. (over use).

8 Review and discuss five types of logical consequences as punishments (cont) Time-Out: Appropriate for children 3 years to 10 years of age. Time-Out is the sytematic removal of a child to a quite area. Before using time-out, certain conditions must exist: Establish family rules Make sure the child understands what time-out is. Pick a time-out place Establish how long time-out will last.

9 In Using Time-Out Give the child one warning. Use choice and consequences. If the behavior continues, tell the child they will go to time-out. Ignore all promises designed to avoid going to time-out. Tell the child how long time-out will last. Remind the child time-out starts when they are quite. After time-out, praise and redirect the child to appropriate behavior.

10 Practice Time-Out Choose a partner One adult will be the “parent” and the other adult be the “child”. Ask the “parent” to choose a rule to be broken”. Ask the “child” if he or she feels that the rule could be broken by the “child”. If so pick another rule. Now the “parent” should establish time-out. The “child” should try every maneuver to avoid time-out. Reverse roles.

11 Discuss potential problems What if the child refuses to go to time- out, or refuses to stay at the home grounded? What if the child makes noise while sitting in time-out? Should a child ever be physically forced to sit in a chair?

12 Eleven Rules of Discipline 1. Help children learn appropriate behavior by involving them in direct experiences. 2. All behaviors need consequences. 3. What you pay attention to is what you get more of. 4. Punishments are used to help children change inappropriate behavior. 5. Punishments are never use to abuse. 6. Time-out will only work if time is quality time – time the child enjoys.

13 Eleven Rules of Discipline (cont.) 7. Time-out should be used sparingly. 8. Punishment must fit the crime. 9. Punishment must be meaningful and quick. 10. If you misuse it, you lose it. 11. If you break it, you pay for it.